Playing Dead
by Nova.8
Summary: He's straying down the dark path of self destruction while struggling to come to terms with losing her before he could love her. Caught up in the midst of a dangerous game against old rivals will finding out she's been playing dead all this time push him over the edge? *Slightly dark AU; Rated 'M'; HP/GW with allusions to DM/GW*
1. Chapter 1

**NB: Dear Reader, since this story is slightly AU (only a small part during the final battle really) and of dark content; there will be loads of bad language, some sexual content, violence, blood and gore in context. Although a concerted effort has been made to avoid excessive crudity and lewdness this may not be your cup of tea. If you are a sensitive reader and don't much fancy the above mentioned particulars please do not read further.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** This should suffice for the entire story. I do not own Harry Potter, of course. Great, let's go ...**

* * *

**Playing Dead**

* * *

**Chapter One**

"**CLOSE** your eyes." He demanded harshly as he looked down at the woman pinned beneath him.

She looked up curiously at him and it set his teeth on edge. Did she not understand a simple thing like close your eyes? His fingers squeezed her wrists, held above her head and for a moment her pupils flashed with fear.

Somewhere deep inside of him, a part that was secretly disgusted with his perverse behaviour roared its disapproval at his actions. Yet the rest of him, the pivotal parts of him that had allowed him to survive all these years now rushed forward again. A battle between his wills momentarily ensued within the man, one light and one dark. It was hardly a difficult battle however as the potent, latter will emerged triumphantly and demanded to be released.

He did not want to see her deep blue eyes. They were the wrong shade. Her red hair had been what had drawn him to her in the first place. Now however, here, spread against the crisp white linen he could not help but think how dull and lifeless it looked. It was a simple shade of red. Boring. There were no natural highlights of spun gold woven between fiery auburn curls and he hated it. He hated her. This breathing woman who he would take tonight to keep his sanity without even bothering to remember her name.

He hated this flesh for her pale skin and similar freckles that lived on while _she_ was dead. He closed his eyes again, determined to purge himself of those vile thoughts. He was, as always trying to erase _her_ from inside his head. His mind raced through blurred images of sunlit days spent lazily by a black lake, silky red hair that slipped beautifully through his fingers and flowery scents that wafted enticingly around him. Soft kisses and breathy moans cascaded like warm sunlight inside of him and his chest became so heavy with happiness he thought he would burst from it. Then his head began to hurt, his frozen heart turned over in his chest reminding him he was not in the past. However his body hardened with those thoughts of _her_ spilling from his mind.

He bent his unruly head of messy, black hair towards the woman underneath his naked body and claimed her mouth with a forceful kiss. She made a pitiful sound beneath him as she arched her back into him. He wished she wouldn't make that dreadful noise. It was all wrong.

"Harry."

Tonight's lover called out to him but he did not hear her. He heard a softer, huskier voice with a slight lilt to it. She called his name breathlessly and lovingly.

_'Ginny.'_

When Harry was satiated he immediately jumped off the bed he had been on moments ago. The young girl beneath him seemed upset. Her kiss swollen lips puckering up at him and the man called Harry could not suppress his irritation. She did not look cute or sexy sitting there naked with her hair tousled and bedroom blue eyes.

She looked like disgust. She made him feel disgusted with himself yet again. This woman reminded him that while he tried in vain to escape that wretched sixteen year old girl, by seeking pleasure in other witches, he kept failing. He tried to prove to himself that he was wrong about _her_, instead he kept proving that _she_ would remain with him forever. Even beneath thousands of enchanted walls.

The woman before him today was only just a temporary distraction. She was someone who's name he couldn't remember. She however, knew him. He bore a name that would not be forgotten for centuries to come.

Harry Potter. Britain's most Eligible wizard. Who did not know of Harry Bloody Potter; Boy Who Lived, Chosen One, defeater of the Dark Lord? His personal favourite though was "most seductive sorcerer in a century". Therefore with such prominent titles it was never a task of any sorts to find a willing woman to try and break through his insatiable need. And he much preferred those titles to the ones his friends and families insisted on dealing him. Heartbroken, grieving or sad. He was not some tragic hero that needed to be coddled.

Harry shook his head lightly, his stronger will binding the conscience it called disgust in darkness while he dressed himself lazily.

"Listen love, it's been fun but I have to go. You know, lots of dark wizards to catch." He smirked at her as she simpered. Witches all over the country loved seeing him as a tragic hero though and if that made his leaving them after a quick shag easier then he would use it for all it was worth.

"Will I see you again?"

Harry cringed at her whiny tone but he steeled himself to turn around and smile at her, giving her the answer he had given countless others who had never seen him twice. "Of course darling, owl me."

He gave her a final wink before leaving the cosy room of The Sleeping Dragon. He had paid for it for an entire night. She could stay as long as she liked. He was going home to shower and sleep.

* * *

"Mum's having dinner at the Burrow tonight you know." Ron Weasley started cautiously.

Harry resisted the urge to roll his eyes at his best friend as he continued to complete his paperwork on his desk. "That's great mate."

"She asked to invite you." Ron informed Harry not dissuaded by his thoughtless attitude.

"Sorry Ron, loads of paperwork to finish." Harry flourished a hand at the mounds of files on his desk without looking up at Ron.

"You can take a break mate. Those reports aren't due till next week."

Harry was starting to loose his temper. Something that now happened quite easily and often with these pressuring ploys from his best friends. He hadn't spoken to Hermione in over a month since she had suggested he needed closure during their last conversation. He really didn't want to stop talking to Ron either. On the other hand it may give Harry the space he craved.

What was it with everyone and trying to get him to _"come to terms"_ with what had happened? It had been three fucking years. Of course he had come to terms with it all. He didn't walk around thinking that he'd come across her ghost like he had searched for Sirius after his Godfather had died years ago. He knew she was dead and he was over it.

Harry did not need to be coddled, or "surrounded by family and friends" or "supported as he went through these troubled times". And he most certainly did not need to _talk_. His insides clenched in revulsion at the word. He had lost loved ones since he had been one measly year old. He was now twenty one bloody years for heavens sake. He could handle it.

"Ron." Harry began calmly and he was pleased to see his best friend for over ten years look a little uncomfortable. "Your mother makes sure she comes over to Grimmauld Place once every week. She even brings over her cooking; enough for an army and ensures Kreacher is keeping the place clean. I am not starving. As you can see, I'm alive and well."

"Where were you last night then?" Ron suddenly looked brave again.

Harry wanted to reply with a scathing reply but decided against it. "Out."

"With a witch or fighting."

"Both." Harry replied easily.

He would not lie. They knew what he did and he was not ashamed of it. He wasn't a child anymore. Neither was he a boy given a man's destiny to fulfil. Harry had done all of that. He had saved the wizarding world from the darkest sorcerer of all time, he was still here picking up the blasted pieces and arresting bloody Death Eaters. Therefore he deserved do be left alone to his own devices now. It was finally his damn time. This was his life and his alone. He would live it the way he saw fit. He would take pleasure in which ever form and way he wished. He was sick of people making prophecies for _his_ destiny or trying to mould him into the ultimate sacrifice.

Why everyone felt like he was being rebellious or going down a dark path was beyond him. He had enough of being selfless old Harry. The old Harry got him dead loved ones. Selfless took away the only woman you loved before you even had the chance to tell her.

"Hermione's really distraught Harry. She's been crying non stop for weeks on end now."

"Hermione works in the same bloody building as us Ron. If she was so cut up about it then she could have just visited and apologised." Harry interrupted him. "Or she could have just minded her own damn business in the first place." Harry muttered under his breath.

Ron had heard him though and Harry received a disapproving frown. Ron could probably handle a lot of things, but disrespect against his beloved Hermione was not one of them. "Hermione doesn't feel like she was wrong. So she does not think that she needs to apologise for being honest to a friend."

Harry rolled his eyes at Ron but ignored him. He did not want to get into it with Ron right now. His shoulders were stiff and his jaw was still aching. He was definitely going home for a drink and his bed after Ron took the hint and left him alone.

"You can't keep running from this Harry." Ron spoke again and this time Harry could hear the irritation in his friends voice.

Harry hid a smirk from Ron. He was wondering when the red head's temper would finally crack. Patience had never been Ron Weasley's strong suit. And in all honesty Harry was really touched that his best mate had shown him three years worth of it.

"I didn't think I was running Ron. I'm still her, aren't eye. Still -"

"Fuck Harry. Give it a rest won't you." Ron slammed his hands down hard on Harry's desk causing Harry to instinctively stand up. Harry drew his wand, instantly noticing the tremor of momentary fear in Ron's eyes.

Harry narrowed his emerald green ones at Ron before he lifted his wand at his office door. _"Muffliato."_ Harry whispered. He enjoyed the colour that tinged Ron's face.

This was why he had no intention of going back to the Burrow. Ever! Apart from not being able to go there knowing that _she _would never be there again; Harry could not handle _this_. This fear that he would hurt one of them suddenly. It was not unwarranted. Harry knew this from the last fight he had had at the Burrow. However having them treat him like a temperamental Hippogriff was something he refused to endure just so they could ease their consciences by having him with them.

"Harry you need to stop what you're doing before you've gone too far. Hermione and I can't keep making excuses for you."

"Then don't." Harry interjected swiftly. If they were unhappy about what he was doing then why didn't they just leave him the hell alone? _He_ was happy dammit.

Ron ignored him and continued. "We both miss our best friend. Our family misses you, Harry. And if Ginny -"

"Don't." Harry warned. Hearing her name was like a ghost walking through him. He felt like he was being plunged into icy water. The cold liquid seeping into his pores, freezing the heated blood that ran in his veins until he was dying from the pain. His mouth gasped for air but he couldn't breathe under water.

Ron paid him no heed and ploughed on bravely. "If Ginny were here, she'd be ashamed of you." Ron's nostrils flared, his face a maroon colour and Harry could tell he was no longer afraid. He was angry.

Harry growled violently as he swept his hand roughly across his desk. And they wondered why he didn't go to the Burrow. They kept bringing her up while he wanted to forget her. Forget she ever existed. He hated them for living without her so easily and he hated Hermione for not helping him bring her back or make him forget her. He hated Ron for being right.

Ron looked calmly back at his best friend as if Harry's outburst had proven his point. Unable to look at the hurt and disappointment on Ron's face Harry turned his back on Ron. He stared determinedly at his office window.

"The only way you can get over this mate is if you accept that she's gone and let her go naturally. You can't keep filling that hole inside of you with darkness. We'll be at Burrow from seven tonight." And with that Ron parted. The soft click of the closing door and Ron's words snapped the control on his destructive emotions.

Harry exhaled loudly before he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. He grabbed his Auror robes and headed into the Atrium. He went into one of the empty grates and left the Ministry of Magic. He needed to release some tension after Ron's visit.

* * *

Blood rushed to his head as a fist pounded into his temple. His head swung violently to his right and the momentum of the blow made him sway on his bare feet. Harry bit back the pain and ignored the pounding in his skull that was most likely fractured now. He refused to acknowledge that breathing was becoming more difficult with his cracked ribs and rushed at his opponent. His own large fist connecting with a thick jaw.

He felt breaking bones beneath his knuckles. The crack of it resounded within his skull, resonating until it was the only sound he could hear. He continued, uncaring that he had probably knocked out his opponent. His eyes were clouded with a red glow. There was something relieving about the feel of bones breaking against your own bones. Beating your frustrations out on someone else was almost liberating. It was an easy escape.

The adrenaline in his body drowned out the cheering horde of watchers pressed against the steel cage as his vision withdrew into the black of his mind.

Suddenly the scene around him morphed and he was no longer in a dank underground room with hard concrete floors decorated in sweat and blood. He could see again, the blood red haze vanishing into his throbbing veins. It pumped into his chest until that was all he could hear. The heavy drumbeat of his racing heart.

_He was sitting in the rubble of the aftermath of Voldemort. Blood soaked his clothes but he didn't care. He held onto her lifeless form against his chest, rocking her tiny body as if she were a new born babe, her limbs flaying uselessly along her as he begged and pleaded for her to awaken. He didn't care that her grief stricken family were all round him trying to hold her one last time too. he didn't care that they were mourning her as well. _

_Ginny was dead._

_The woman he loved, the girl who's face he had seen when he had walked to his own death, the voice of her who had brought him back from that brink was gone. Why did he come back? He could have met her on the other side, he could have been with her and countless other lost, loved ones and yet he had come back. _

_All those nights on the run when he had missed her until he ached; when he had stared at her name on the Marauder's Map because he craved to have some sort of connection between them; when it had been only her beautiful face he had seen before he welcomed death he had not realised it was because he loved her. Only when he had seen her lying on the floor amongst the other dead had his love for her come crashing down on him, had he truly appreciated what she had meant to him and what he had lost. And how cold irony could be to rob him of her before he could even love her. He hated that she had left him. He hated her._

_Suddenly a black rage was welling inside of him, it was uncontrollable, his anger and hatred consuming him, burning inside of him until he couldn't control it any longer. _

_He screamed and it sounded raw and raging even to his own ears. He could feel his bitter emotions breaking from inside of him and swirling around him but he didn't care. They were not going to take her away from him. They were not going to. Not even death could cheat him this time. After everything he had been trough he did not deserve this!_

"Let go man. Let go."

"_Let go. Harry, let go." The voice had come to him from somewhere in the distance and he took in a deep breath. When he opened his eyes he stared in disbelief at what he saw. _

"Ron?" Harry opened his eyes and a blinding light bulb swung in a hypnotising fashion above his head. The over bright glow piercing his sensitive eyes. Loud shouting and cheering flooded his ear drums making him flinch in pain. His stomach lurched and his body bent forward.

Harry heard the disgusted groans of the spectators as he emptied the contents of his stomach on the fighting mat he had been dragged onto. The huge bouncer who reminded him of Dudley handed him a towel and a bottle of water.

Harry took it gratefully and sipped some before throwing the rest of the icy liquid over his head. Harry removed the tested, plastic goggles that helped him see in a fight from around his head. He took in a deep breath as the water cooled his burning skin. Shaking his head he wiped his face with his hand and towel. Reluctantly he looked over, glad his vision was blurred without the improvisation of his glasses. His opponent, a huge chap who could pass as a Japanese, sumo wrestler was lying flat on his back. His face was bloody beyond even Harry's sad sight could recognise.

Harry had lost control. He had gone back to the day of the Final battle. When he had went to the Great Hall of Hogwarts after Voldemort had been defeated to find Ginny dead. Shaking his head Harry realised he had had to be pulled off his opponent.

"Is he ..." Harry trailed off.

"Nah, jus' knocked out cold. Yer better get goin' then." The burly man told Harry and he nodded putting on his goggles so he could make his way to the locker room.

When he was offered his winnings for the night he shook his head and told the man to pay for his opponents hospital bills as he always did. He was a wealthy wizard after all, Muggle money was nothing to him. The man he defeated tonight would definitely need it. Harry trusted Charles enough to know that the man would keep his word.

Harry enjoyed using his hands and physical strength in the underground fight clubs of London. He was not recognised and he did not get special preference here. Neither was he revered by anyone there. He was just an unknown bloke with demons to unleash. Harry had come across it right after the war.

While walking the dark streets of Muggle London one restless evening Harry had seen a fight break out. Instinct alone had spurred Harry into entering the fray with nothing but his courage, oblivious to the small crowd surrounding the fight. His first year in Auror training sharpening his fighting skills. Hand to hand combat was something that every first year needed to know.

Yet he was inexperienced and young. He had been pounded on badly. That was when Charles had picked him up and offered him a slip of paper.

"Got some guts on yer kid." He had told Harry.

Harry, grimacing with pain disagreed with the large man. He had been trying to break up a fight that had willing participants and people who found it entertaining.

But Harry could not deny that the rush of being involved in a physical fight was exciting. It made him feel alive again in a way that not even duelling other wizards had done. At first catching Death Eaters, the slime that had killed Ginny and Fred, Remus and Tonks and all the others made him feel purposeful. However the feeling of accomplishment had been waning for a while. None of the Death Eaters he had applied his Legilimency to had killed Ginny. They had found the man who had killed Fred, but no one who had been caught thus far had killed Ginny. The frustration of failing her and still not being able to avenge her haunted him day and night.

Muggle fighting helped him unleash that anger and pent up frustration in a way that nothing else could. Tonight however he started to feel disgusted by himself again. The blood on his hands were glowing and Harry gripped the basin in his bathroom.

He washed and washed his hands under the clean, running water but the blood wouldn't leave him. He pulled out his wand feeling sick suddenly. _"Tergeo."_ He mutter but the scarlet poison remained on his palms. _"Scourgify. Evanesco." _Still, nothing.

He looked up at the mirror on the wall in frustration but instead of seeing himself he saw Fred's mischievous grin before it turned into Tonks' pink hair and then Remus' sincere smile. Then there were her eyes.

"Why?" He asked her sadly. "Why are you haunting me. I wasn't on time. I failed you. I'm sorry." Harry choked out.

Ginny's face distorted as if his words angered her and she opened her mouth. But it was not words that emerged from her. Instead a red tongue hissed from her pretty, pink lips and blood oozed like tears from her brown eyes. Her hair blew back and her face began to prune before his eyes. Harry watched in horror as Ginny's skin wrinkled into her bones before she opened her mouth again. Her lipless mouth formed his name and two other words that pierced his heart. _'Save me.'_ But no sound was heard and it was worse than any cry for help Harry had ever heard. Then she turned into ash while he looked on helplessly.

"NO!" Harry screamed. He raised his hand towards the glass and smashed his fist into it.

He sank to the floor letting distant memories flood his brain. The black void inside of him was seeping into his veins. It pumped a bitter rage so profusely into his blood that his mind started to disintegrate inside his head. Distant sounds of master Harry could be heard before unconsciousness took over.

* * *

Harry lifted his heavy eyelids slowly as he tried to swallow. His mouth felt like it was full of sand. He tried to sit up but his body ached and so he swirled his head around slowly to loosen his tense muscles first.

"Harry." He heard Hermione's shriek before he could see her.

She gently placed his glasses on his nose and helped him sit up. Harry noticed her fingers were cold and shaky. A clear indication of when she was worried.

"Oh thank Merlin, you're alright." She said in a hoarse voice and Harry knew when he looked at her swollen, red eyes and pale skin that she had been crying.

Guilt assailed him as he reached for his side table. He was in St Mungos. He was no stranger to the place. He lifted the goblet of water to his mouth drinking heartily from it. All the while his eyes scanned the room. He was pleased to see it empty. Yet he knew without a shadow of doubt they'd all be here.

As if on cue Ron walked in. He stood still for a moment simply just looking at Harry with an unreadable expression on his face. Was that pity? Harry grit his teeth as he felt the anger that was constantly present within him for three years now rush up into his throat. Before he could speak bitter words of wrath though Mrs Weasley bustled into the room.

"Oh Harry dear, thank heavens you're alright." She cried as she came over to him. She brushed his hair away from his forehead and fluffed his pillows, fussing about unnecessarily. From her choked voice and heavy breathing it was obvious that she had been crying too.

Harry was more ashamed to see that she had lost a lot of weight since the last time he had seen her. Her red hair streaked with more silver strands now. He always avoided her when he knew she would be visiting Grimmauld Place. Her and the rest of the Weasley's for a long time now. Unable to face them after the deaths of Fred and Ginny and more so after his spectacular outbursts of anger. Harry felt more shame creep along his insides.

Like Hermione it was easy to avoid them by angrily blaming them for the distance that settled between them. That way he did not have to feel this unwelcomed guilt and there was no need to question his own behaviour and actions.

The only Weasley Harry could stomach now was George. Maybe it was because of the way George was grieving Fred that Harry could sit with the remaining Weasley twin for hours on end. They never spoke, they just drowned in their firewhisky, staring at Harry's fireplace or stacking shelves monotonously at Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes for hours until one of the two went home. Or maybe it was because misery loved company, he didn't know. He was just glad someone understood he didn't need to or wanted to _talk_.

How he hated that word. It seemed to be everyone's solution to his problems now. He was glad that not all of the the Weasley's had sought him out though. Only Ron, Hermione and Mrs Weasley persisted on seeing him.

Harry watched as Mr Weasley stood in the corner of the room staring at him intently. Arthur Weasley never pushed Harry to talk and maybe that's why Harry could look him in the eye. The patriarch was as always silent and understanding, his blue eyes clear to Harry. _'We'll be here unconditionally until you're ready.'_ That however was something that frustrated him about Mr Weasley. He did not know what the older wizard expected from him. He did not know what any of them wanted from him.

Before Harry could speak a Healer entered the room. A tall, old man with a white moustache and round glasses not unlike Harry's. His centre parted hair fell thick and full over his head but every single strand of it was white. Harry noticed he was wearing socks and sandals beneath his healer robes which looked like it had not been washed in weeks. It was stained with blood and something yellow Harry could not identify.

Unsure of this healer Harry moved more into his pillow and the old wizard gave him a knowing smile. "Ah Mr Potter. Do not be alarmed by my appearance. I was simply healing wounds the entire day before you came to us. In fact some of this blood is yours my dear boy."

Harry was not in the least reassured by this but offered a weak smile to Healer Brie before he let the old man work on him. Brie poked and prodded some sore joints but either than that Harry knew he was perfectly fine. The most he needed was probably a few healing charms and a blood replenishing potion.

He had procured a long list of injuries in his life to be able to diagnose himself by now. Generally after his fights he would heal himself or allow Kreacher to help for any out of reach places. He had not suffered any haunting niggles afterwards either. Of course he had let himself get a little drained emotionally tonight and his magic had over reacted back at home. Kreacher, acting on Ron's bidding most likely, must have floo-ed the Burrow when he had passed out. Harry made a mental note to forbid Kreacher to contact anyone in the future.

"Well everything seems to be in order here. All broken bones were repaired, his wounds were superficial, caused by hand, not magic. He'll be fine of course. We've given him a blood replenishing potion. Although he does desperately need some bed rest for a while. No strenuous -"

"I'm fine." Harry interjected through clenched teeth. He most certainly did not appreciate being spoken about as if he were a two year old.

"Mr Potter, are you a trained Healer?" The jovial look on Healer Brie was replaced by a very stern one that looked completely out of place on the man's good natured face. Something about the steely glint in his dark eyes made Harry swallow. This man could confine him to bed rest for a lot longer than a day or two. Robard's would never send an injured Auror on field assignments. The head Auror would demand bloody clearance from healer Brie first.

"No." Harry replied in reluctant annoyance.

Before the healer could continue however Mrs Weasley cut in. She had a blazing look in her eyes that made Harry's stomach turn over. It was the same look Ginny would wear when she was determined about something. One of the reasons he could never look at Molly Weasley was because of her brown eyes. The same as Ginny's.

"Don't worry Healer Brie, I will make sure he gets the rest he deserves. He's been left to his own devices for far too long now." Mrs Weasley glared at Harry and he had never been on the receiving end of one of those furious looks before; even though he had seen it in action many times over the years. He wisely shut his mouth and decided to go with whatever her plans were for the time being. At least until he could escape of course.

* * *

He lay in bed staring at the ceiling while the ghoul in the attic knocked at a few pipes. He hated being back at the Burrow. Ron had insisted that Harry sleep with him in his room and Harry had been too choked up to argue.

The Burrow looked exactly the same as it had three years ago. Nothing but possibly new picture frames or additional furniture had been added to it. It still smelled the same, homely and welcoming, yet it did not warm Harry's heart as it had always done before. It left him feeling cold and empty inside.

He wanted to run from the Burrow and he suspected his legs had made to move him when Ron's hand had held strongly onto his arm. He was about to shoot Ron a very nasty glare when the look died at the sight of his best friend's face.

Ron was pale and looked to be in pain, his blue eyes shining with unshed tears. Next to him Harry noticed Mrs Weasley and Hermione weren't holding back their own tears. Before he could help it his throat clogged up, burning as his eyes welled up behind his glasses. Harry lifted his head to blink the tears back as they threatened to spill.

His head span as memories raced through his mind's eye. Harry saw her run down towards him. Her red hair aflame behind her. She was tinier than he remembered. "Mummy", she called and his body shook as he realised he was seeing her when she was nothing but eleven years old the first summer he had come here.

Shaking his head to try and clear his mind Harry opened his eyes. He almost expected to see her racing down the steps now as if nothing had changed. Unable to help himself he turned towards the spiral staircase. When no one bounded down those old, rickety wooden steps his ice cold heart fell to the pits of his churning stomach, cracking into sharp shards that made his insides bleed.

He saw Hermione move to come towards him through the corner of his eye as a tear fell down his cheek unchecked. Ron placed a warning hand out to her and she sobbed aloud. Thankful for the space Harry continued to stare at the stairs before Ron pulled him along. He was grateful when Ron took charge because his body felt like it was not his own anymore, immobilised by memories. Ron opened the door for Harry and ushered him in.

"We all miss her too. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think about her. Or Fred. But you have to accept it. It's the first step to moving forward. You can't want to forget her, it will never happen. No one who knew her and loved her as much as we all did could ever forget her. But you're only dishonouring her memory by trying to erase her from your mind and punishing yourself like this, Harry." Ron sounded as if he had wanted to tell Harry this for a long while now but had only been waiting for the perfect moment to do so.

Harry could not bring himself to ask Ron the most important question of all. How? How did he ever accept that she was gone, and not completely forget her, without it tearing him up inside every day?

Harry was grateful that Ron hadn't said anything more after that but left him alone. He had refused to cry. He simply walked to his bed and sat heavily on it. He was thankful that he had been given a dreamless sleep potion and combined with a calming draught the lull of sleep pulled him into a dark well of temporary sanity.

Only Ron's soft footfalls hours later had awoken him moments ago. He felt Ron watch him for a while as he pretended to be asleep before snoring echoed in the dark room. After endless moments at staring into the darkness, when he knew he would not be able to fall asleep again Harry got up quietly. Reaching for his wand he made his way to the first floor.

Lighting his wand he found the door he was looking for. Slowly he turned the handle unsure of what possessed him to come here. He only knew that it was something he needed to do. Harry had always trusted his instincts and they had never steered him wrong before. When he entered the room he took in a deep breath and bravely lit up the lamps with his wand.

Light flooded the dark room at once and Harry took an involuntary step back at the sight that greeted him. He could have been back in Ginny's room years ago if he didn't no better. Nothing had changed. Everything from her bedding to the posters on her wall were the same. And it was obvious that Mrs Weasley kept Ginny's room clean. A part of him was angry that they were encouraging him to let her go when Ginny's room was being kept like a shrine.

"Hypocrites." Harry spun around at her voice. He was sure he had stopped breathing.

Ginny was standing by the window that overlooked the orchard. She had snorted the word at him and Harry was positive he would scream in joy for Ron or Mrs Weasley. But he wanted to keep her to himself for now. Excitement bubbled impatiently inside of him and he was sure he was floating towards her.

"Ginny?" Harry croaked as he rushed over towards the window. At his out stretched hand she instantly vanished like a wisp of smoke that had never been there in the first place. And Harry had to stop his fist in mid air from punching into the glass as he felt the pain of loosing her clutch at his insides all over again. After all these long years he was still desperately hoping for her to come back to him. If he told this to anyone while they _talked,_ how pathetic would he seem?

Turning his back on her window, as he did not want to remember their last kiss shared here on his seventeenth birthday four years ago, Harry went to her bed. There was a scarf folded neatly at the end of it and Harry picked it up. His mind started to reverberate as he closed his eyes. Images flashed uncontrollably behind his closed lids.

"_Come here, you." Ginny smiled knowingly at him before she unwrapped her scarf from around her own neck and threw it around Harry's. He had been sulking a little because he had seen her talking to a bloke in her year in between classes. Someone who had asked her to got to Hogsmead with him._

_Harry had been annoyed as everyone in the entire Hogwarts new that she was dating him. Apparently the stupid git had thought it had been just a rumour. Harry had went to her and placed his arm over her shoulder, resisting the urge to hex the boy before them. She had teased him incessantly that evening about nosing around her and eavesdropping on her conversations. No matter how much he had argued the point she had not believed him. She thought it was funny and cute that he was so jealous but he had not been happy that she had taken it so lightly. She made him crazy. _

"_Jealous prat." She smiled playfully at him before tugging both ends of her scarf forward. Harry allowed himself to be pulled to her, staring into her teasing eyes. She leaned forward and pressed her soft lips to his. With her tender kiss she had reassured him that he was the only one she wanted better than any words ever could._

_While they sat on the floor before the fire in the Gryffindor common room, her hair alight in the firelight and those bright brown eyes of hers sparkling happily, how could he do anything else but kiss her back._

Harry shook his head in the present as he lifted Ginny's scarf to his nose. Inhaling it he could still smell her flowery scent lingering within the material. All he could think was how much he missed that smell. How he had tried the day she had died to find her scent. Harry had literally sniffed through the odour of blood, burned flesh and smoky ruins to try and smell her one last time. He never did.

Yet here was a scarf she had worn years ago and he could smell her as if she had worn it only yesterday. Harry hadn't realised that he had sunk down to the floor on his knees. He bowed his head into his palms that still held onto her scarf, his hands pressed into the end of her bed and gave in to his emotions. He did something he had not done in three years.

He cried.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I don't normally post new stories while I have a work in progress because I like frequent updates and working on two stories at the same time can be too much. However, I've had this idea for quite a while now and my brain insists I work on it. So since I have the entire plot and all chapters outlined and I have loads of free time for the next week I decided to just go with it.

I'm very excited about this idea, so happy reading!


	2. Chapter 2

**Playing Dead**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**IT** wasn't the soft, squelching footsteps on the damp grass on a still night, or the way the air shifted with the presence of another that Harry new someone was nearing him. It was simply the flowery scent that he would recognise anywhere swirling towards him like a tangible mist that had his shoulders stiffening.

"You shouldn't be here." He sighed, without turning around the look at her.

How could he; when he knew if he did he would want nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her with a passion that seemed only to exist within him when in her presence. He did not know what it was about Ginny Weasley that made him feel like he had a monster in his chest that only she could control. A part of him was glad his feelings had only turned into more than friendly affection for her of late. He was certain that he would not have been able to give her up had they spent years together.

"Neither should you." She told him simply and he could hear the exasperation in her voice when he still did not turn to look at her. "I can't sleep with you here. I'm scared you'll run off alone."

His jaw flexed but he still refused to look at her. She did not impose herself on his vision and it was one of the many, many things he liked about Ginny. She knew when he needed his space, when she should let him come to her and when she should tell him off for isolating himself. He wondered if even Ron and Hermione, the only others who knew him as well as Ginny did, could ever handle him the way she does.

"You know that I'm leaving soon." Harry told her honestly. He had never lied to her and he never would. She knew this and if he could not answer her truthfully then he would tell her so. But he would never lie.

"I know." She said in a small voice. "Although then I'll be comforted knowing Ron and Hermione are with you. That you're not alone." He could hear her hesitation in that moment of silence but waited for her to continue. "That's why I had to come and see you tonight." She sounded almost unsure of being there, as if she were convincing herself of something and curiosity spiked at Harry's senses.

After Ginny had outgrown her crush on him she had been nothing but confident in his presence. Vibrant and humorous, witty and charming and he had been slowly enraptured by the real person hiding behind her shyness. He knew he was being a coward by not looking at her but he couldn't bear it. For even though she had accepted their break up he could see the hurt she tried to hide behind those amber jewels of hers. And he hated knowing that he was the reason for her pain and suffering. Unable to resist with her being this close to him and them being alone Harry strengthened his resolve.

Something within him told Harry this was the last night he would be at the Burrow. That was why he was standing outside in the middle of the night, taking in the familiar surroundings of the only other place besides Hogwarts that he had ever felt at home. So he turned around to face her with a heavy heart because he knew from the taste of home cooked meals, the smell of dewy grass and the sounds of peace and calm only interrupted by cackling chicken and grunting pigs; it was her that he'd miss the most.

What he saw before him made his heart fall like lead into his stomach. Nervousness fluttered in his tummy as it tried unsuccessfully to fly the dead weight back to his chest.

Ginny stood before him, a deep red blanket of wool held around her body. It seemed to be the only thing covering herself. Harry could see her pale shoulders bare where the blanket rested on her bosom and the curve of her calves that was not covered in clothing. Her tiny feet had no shoes on, her toenails charmed to glitter prettily. Harry trailed his eyes back up to her face and saw her hair looked tangled as if she had ran her hands through it many times.

"What are you doing?" His voice was hoarse betraying the fact that his seventeen year old body reacted to the sight of her. She looked breathtaking against the darkness of night bathed in the glow of the pearly moonlight that peeked between dark clouds. Harry knew that even if Fleur Delacour was standing completely naked next to Ginny right now he would not be able to take his eyes of the red head.

As if she had read some semblance of his thoughts Ginny moved her hands away from her chest more confidently and let the red blanket fall to the ground around her small feet. As Harry had suspected she was completely naked under the blanket. Yet she did not cower in shyness or modesty before him. She just stood there like a woman of the world looking to seduce him to his knees entirely. He was sure it was working too.

It was Ginny's calm attitude and the determined glint in her eyes, her fair skin free from any tinge of a blush that had Harry bravely drink in the sight of her. He took confidence from her and did not shy away from her naked self. He knew from the past five months they spent at school that she was no longer a young girl. Her body developing into what could only be described as womanly.

Although none of the innocent touching and raging hormone filled curiosity had prepared Harry for what he was currently looking at. Ginny's body was clearly filling out as she approached sixteen. Her breasts were plump and fuller, like they would fit in the palm of his hands perfectly. His hands clenched into fists at the thought.

Her tummy was flat but her hips flared out in a way that made him want to grip each curve and pull her against him. He felt his nails dig into the flesh of his palms.

Her legs were smooth and shapely and Harry wanted them to wrap around his waist as he …. Harry stamped down on that image as his body hardened at the thought.

He may have been a seventeen year old boy who's body demanded he fulfil his unruly fantasies, especially when the girl who had starred in all his naughty dreams for over a year now was standing stark naked before him. With not a stitch of cloth covering her virtue, not even a flimsy pair of panties, but he knew he would not. Because this was Ginny Weasley.

Harry did not want to take her because it would be the worst way to repay her family for the endless kindness and support they had always given him. Neither was it because just today when she had kissed him for his birthday, the best birthday gift he had ever received, he had later promised her youngest brother he would stay away from her.

It was because of _her_. Her alone. He cared for Ginny way too much to take what she was offering and then walk away from her without the possibility of returning. No, when he slept with Ginny Weasley it would be because he could do it again and again. It would be because they were both ready and he could love her.

Harry's mind spun at the sentiment yet his instinct was dead set in this notion. He always trusted his instinct. The aptitude had saved his life and the lives of others on numerous of occasions. After all the years of knowing Ginny, of the last five months they had spent together he knew that if they had more time with each other then he would find himself helplessly falling in love with her.

"Harry, I want this. Kissing you today made me realise that an interrupted snog isn't all I want you to leave with. If you can't take me with you, then Harry take a part of me."

"Stop." He demanded harshly. He was angry that she was offering a pure, precious gift to him when he could not even promise her he would come back to treasure it. Treasure her.

"No." She told him defiantly, taking a step towards him. She grabbed onto the front of his shirt, clinging onto it as she moulded her body against his.

He closed his eyes shut tightly as he felt her soft curves pressing into the lean bones of his body. He didn't dare touch her for doing so would cause his self resistance to crumble. A growl involuntary ripped from his throat as she pressed her soft lips to his.

What he wouldn't give to be someone else in that instant. To be anyone in the world beside Harry Potter so he could indulge in his one weakness. Ginny. However some part of his mind ridiculed that idea. If he was not Harry Potter then Ginny would never like him.

_'No.'_ He told himself. That may have been true three years ago, but not now. Not today and not for the last three years. Ginny had become his friend, she knew him and understood him in a way that no one else did. Even if he had been some ordinary teenager Ginny would care for him. As if answering his doubts she spoke.

"Harry please, just for tonight be someone else besides Harry Potter the Chosen One. Please, be Harry, just Harry – for me."

He inhaled sharply. Only three people in the world knew he was the Chosen One and one was dead. The other two were not here with him tonight. Yet Ginny said it with such confidence and sincerity that he knew her words were more than trivial speculation or hope. Hers were raging with confidence. Not because he was the boy who lived, but because she had that much faith in him. Something swelled within him and Harry gave in to her.

He pulled her to him, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her arms as he kissed her with every being of him. He poured what he would not say to her in words and she moaned into his mouth as his tongue danced inside with her own. She tasted like completion and happiness and he wanted to drink from that well she represented forever.

As he felt when she had kissed him in her room earlier, he wanted her, all of her. His hands caressed her smooth skin, his fingers dipping in each indentation of her spine as they found their way to her long hair. She shivered, not from the cold night air he knew. He wanted to take her away with him. Elope, hide, run. Harry wanted desperately for it to be only them in the world. But he knew with all his heart that neither he nor she would forgive him for that. They expected nothing more or less from him than to do what he had been destined to do.

As thunder rolled around them and lighting flashed in the distance Harry pushed Ginny away from him gently. He heard her groan of displeasure but her eyes remained closed. He watched her face, taking in the sight of her arched eyebrows and small forehead, her button nose flecked with tiny freckles that he had only recently become so partial to. He took in her rosebud mouth, so pink and lush and desirable. Harry memorised the soft contours of Ginny's face.

"I won't." He told her softly so she was in no doubt to his meaning. He could, he wanted to. Merlin knew he wanted to. But he wouldn't. Not to her. Because as much as he was denying this for her, it was for him as well. If he gave in to her, to him, he would not leave her. He knew this as surely as he knew Voldemort wanted him dead.

He watched as her faced crinkled in pain before she opened her big, bold eyes. She stared searchingly into his eyes and nodded. But his heart clenched in pain as he saw the swirls of hurt shimmer there before she hid them behind a false smile. She nodded again before she took in a deep breath.

Thousands of images flashed before Harry. A conversation in the Hogwarts library that left them running and laughing from Madame Pince, the way their eyes met when they silently laughed at something only they found funny in a group of others. His jealousy at seeing her with Dean. That smile she smiled only for him, lighting his heart as if it were an everlasting candle that spread light and joy inside of him. Two months of watching her with someone else and another few months of uncertainty before he had just kissed her after a Quidditch match, finally followed by the months of bliss she had given him.

He sighed inwardly. Harry would never ask her to wait for him, but his heart begged him to do so for he needed to hear those words so desperately.

As he walked around Ginny he saw her shoulders shake as she held back a sob and Harry felt the back of his eyes sting. Fuck, this was hard. He piked up the blanket from the floor and wrapped it around her shoulders. She took the ends from him and held it tightly in her fists, close to her heaving chest. He covered her hands with his and pulled her against him. Inhaling the precious scent of her Harry turned her around to face him.

He cupped both her cheeks in his hands and lifted her face. Her eyes were full of tears but not one spilled over. "Look at me Gin." He told her and she stared at him bravely. "When we do this, it won't be for one night from rashness because we're in the middle of a fucking a war. It'll be forever."

He did not want to give her false hope but he wanted her to know what he felt for and how much she meant to him. She nodded again and then pressed her lips to his just as the first drops of rain landed on her cheeks. Harry lifted her to him and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

"Promise me you will try to come back Harry. That if you can, you will come back to me." She whispered in such a broken voice he felt the rain burn into him like it was acid.

"I promise." He whispered and he knew that he meant it with all his heart and soul.

She smiled at him, the first genuine smile she had given him in days and Harry felt his spirits soar. He felt hope blooming inside of him and he knew that he would do everything in his power to come back to her. "Then I'll wait till eternity for you Harry."

Those words curled around his heart like a protective band of hope and courage and Harry wanted to find those damn Horcruxes immediately. Because the sooner he destroyed Voldemort the quicker he could be home to Ginny.

Rain poured down from the sky and Harry took a step back from Ginny. Before he could offer her his hand however thunder rumbled in the distance and Ginny started moving away from him. Harry frowned at her as she looked down uncertainly at her feet.

Ginny was not stepping back voluntarily, her bare feet dragging against the grass outside as if on its own accord. "Harry." Ginny called in fear as she reached out to him while one hand clutched the blanket safely against her.

Before Harry could mover however he felt hands grab onto his arms and hold him away from Ginny. He made to jerk away from his captors but all he could hear was Bellatrix Lestrange's shrilly laughter in his ears as the rain poured down against him.

"_No. Ginny!"_ Harry screamed. He wanted to scream for help but Bellatrix squeezed at his throat. Nothing was voiced from his mouth except gurgled spit.

"You didn't want her Harry. She was whoring herself out to you so willingly and you didn't want her. Greyback there, he'd never turn down willing flesh, Harry." Bellatrix cooed into his ear and her voice sent icy dread down his spine.

Bellatrix dropped him to the ground before she kicked him in the stomach. His wand was taken from him as rain pelted his body like lashes from a thick whip. Ginny screamed a most dreadful noise that chilled him to the bone worse than the cold night had and he wondered where the rest of the Weasleys were. Why could no one else hear her screaming like that? Harry tried to crawl towards Ginny but he kept getting kicked by Bellatrix and Lucius Malfoy. His face was ground into the dirt by Lucius as Bellatrix cackled behind him and Harry lifted his hand towards Ginny. Too late could he see her naked body mauled so maliciously that Harry struggled to keep his stomach from roiling.

"No." He whispered. "No."

Fenrir Greyback knelt over Ginny's body as her deathly pale face looked at Harry, her eyes wide and unseeing as she lay there. Dead. Greyback threw his head back and cackled at the half moon, blood dripping from his fangs as he chewed hungrily at a piece of Ginny's flesh.

"_No!"_ Harry screamed this time.

Hatred and loss pooled inside of him, sparking from his flesh and skin in black waves that gushed out of him. He snarled viciously as he heard Bellatrix's raw screams of agony while she begged him for mercy.

"Harry, please. Please stop it."

Only those weren't Bellatrix's screams.

Harry's torso shot up. His chest was heaving and his throat burned as if he had drunk poison. He looked around the unfamiliar room and immediately rolled of the bed.

The woman he had slept with tonight was floating above the matress by invisible threads as dark magic lashed against her skin. Cuts and gashes squirted blood against the white sheets. Shaking, Harry closed his eyes as he breathed calm into him.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

Nightmare. It was just a nightmare. He told himself.

Harry reminded himself that it had only been a dream. When the rain had started to fall on them he had given his hand to Ginny. She had taken it, trustingly and they had ran back inside the Burrow. They had laughed at being caught in the rain and Harry felt his heart lighten, that even in those deadly times they could laugh together. He had made to kiss her and send her back to her room when she had shook her head at him. Leading him to Percy's old room he had spent the first night ever with Ginny sleeping in his arms. Unbelievably it had been the first and last night he could remember that he did not have a single nightmare without a dreamless sleep potion. The first time he had also broken a promise ever. Harry comforted himself with the fact that Ron would not mind today.

When he opened his eyes the girl whose name he could not remember was back on the bed. She had passed out from the strain of all the dark magic he had unwittingly used against her. Harry cursed himself for falling asleep with the witch. This was the first time it had happened in almost three years.

Harry quickly healed the battered body on the bed, cleaned the sheets again and then climbed over the unconscious witch. He concentrated his wand on her, delivering some of his magic into her so she would awake quickly. While she was still disorientated Harry delved into her mind instantly, planting a fake memory in place of the one she had just experienced. She was better of without the real one. Then he convinced her mind to lull her body into a peaceful sleep again.

He closed his eyes to calm himself for a moment when he immediately opened them again. Images of Ginny were burned into his retinas. He was ashamed to feel tears against his cold skin. Harry looked down at the red haired woman he was kneeling over. He immediately jerked off the bed as his position reminded him of Greyback and Ginny.

Right away the all too familiar scents of disgust rose within him and Harry reached for the water goblet on the night stand to wash away the horrid taste in his mouth. He got up quietly so as not to disturb the witch he had laid with. What was her name? Madeline, Gwendyline? He didn't know.

Harry dressed quickly and walked out of the room in the Sleeping Dragon. He did not look back once at the witch he left behind yet he remembered spending minutes staring at Ginny's sleeping form before he had forced himself to leave her that morning. It had been the day of Bill and Fleur's wedding, the day he had been forced to leave her on the hunt for the Horcruxes.

Harry sighed as he walked out the inn. He let the cool air blow away the remnants of his nightmare before disapparating outside of Grimmauld Place. He cursed his stupidity for falling asleep with a witch when his frustrations did not have the regular release of fighting now. Ever since his night at the Burrow he had made a concerted effort to compromise with Ron and Hermione more.

His night at the Burrow had actually been just what he had needed, although he would never tell Hermione that, and he was trying to deal with the past. However he had promised Ron and Hermione he would not visit the fight clubs for some time. They had agreed that if Harry still felt the urge after three months of abstinence then they would not try to convince him against it again. Hermione thought it was like smoking, it was just a habit that strong will could kick. Trying to mend his relationships with the only friends and family he had, Harry had agreed.

Neither had tried to talk him out of sleeping with different witches every week, but Hermione had tried to set him up with a witch she worked with. Eleanor had been a charming and smart female but Harry thought she was a bit to stiff for him. She was more like Hermione and he expected that Hermione would know him better than that. He sighed as he realised that maybe he should at least try with Eleanor. She definitely did not seem like the type who would jump into bed with him on their first date. The only way Harry could actually get to know someone was if they talked. Witches who slept with him easily because he was Harry Potter, never seemed worthy to talk to. After all, he could remember Eleanor's name at least.

With a wry smile Harry undressed and slipped into the comfort of his own bed. There was another witch he needed to see soon. Someone who could be dangerous and potentially curse him into oblivion but he needed to do it. He had shirked his responsibilities for far too long now.

* * *

A dark flash of green light streamed towards him and he waved his wand so that an overturned table nearby shielded him from the killing curse.

Harry shot a stunner at the Death Eater he was trying to capture before crouching low behind a broken pillar. He tried not to lean too heavily against the pillar as he was sure too much of weight would topple the blasted thing over and give away his hiding place.

He crouched backwards on bent knees into another room. The old Muggle house was being blown to smithereens and he did not wish the same fate for himself. His back met another back as he stood slowly.

"Did they tell us that we'd find close to fifteen fucking Death Eaters here?" Ron complained as he shot out a curse behind the wall.

"I've sent for back up." Harry told him as he hoped his stag would be received quickly by Robards back at the Ministry.

"Where's Conner and O'Brien?" Ron asked in irritation.

Harry shrugged. "No fucking idea. We were ambushed as soon as we came in. Those two split up."

Ron nodded. "Couldn't have given us a more useless duo."

Harry couldn't help the chuckle that escaped his lips. Ron always seemed to make missions much more bearable. Harry could handle his injuries, he could not handle boredom or monotony. Harry's arm was bleeding and he used a shield charm that Ron was reinforcing so he could mutter a quick healing charm at his biceps. He rolled his shoulder and circled his arm to flex his strained muscles before loud cracks were heard.

"No." Harry muttered as he and Ron turned to look at each other again. They nodded as they heard the flurry of movement on the other side of the wall they had been taking cover behind. They knew what that sound meant. _The Force_. "Fuck." Harry shouted as he moved back into the entrance hall.

He saw five figures dressed in full black robes, red masks hiding their faces and a blazing red 'F' on the right side of their chests and the back of their robes. Harry grit his teeth as he watched The Force stun the Death Eaters that were attempting to flee while creating portkeys so the villains who were willing to leave with them could escape.

"Great, that's all we needed." Ron screamed.

Harry nodded but made his way out with Ron. They joined the fray as they knew by now none of The Force members would hurt them. Yet they would fight each other for the remaining Death Eaters. Harry noticed only about seven Death Eaters remained. They chose to try and take out Ron and Harry with the help of The Force and hopefully then escape the notorious group too.

Harry strengthened the shield charm around Ron and watched as the hopeless Death Eaters started to scatter. Three Force members chased after them while two stood to stare at Harry and Ron.

Having no other option, Harry dropped the shield charm as he and Ron battled with the two remaining Force members one on one. Harry noticed that the small Force member he was battling with was lithe and agile. He dodged Harry's blasts easily if he could not cast a shield charm quickly enough. He was also able to throw well aimed hexes at Harry from very defensive positions. Harry watched in amusement as the Force member sent a flurry of quick spells at him. He was busy trying to ricochet some of the spells that managed to penetrate his hastily cast shield when he felt the air behind him move.

His body tensed as an all to familiar scent assailed his nose. Was that flowers he was smelling? Years of Muggle fighting however had honed his instincts to almost perfection. Harry ducked down before his opponent could wrap their arm around his neck and turned around quickly to aim a roundhouse kick at the Force member. Harry watched as the masked being jumped neatly in the air to avoid being kicked before he launched a quick punch at Harry. Harry swayed to his right as he caught the end of the black robe making to pull them towards him.

However the Force member twirled around gracefully and shook his hands behind him. The black robe slipped off his small shoulders and Harry frowned. Harry's gaze raked over the figure before him. Rounded bottom, hourglass hips and full chest moulded against black Lycra. It was definitely a her. That explained her feminine movements. A her with a flowery scent. Her hair was covered behind the red materiel she used to mask her face. She held her wand directly in his face.

Shocked Harry stood before her as well. He was about to shout a quick disarming spell when the chandelier above them rattled ominously. Upstairs it was obvious that the remaining Death Eaters were fighting off the other Force members. Instinct kicked in and Harry ran at the woman he had been duelling with.

He just managed to pin her against the wall when the chandelier fell behind him. He shielded her while ducking his head in the crook of her neck, glass splintering behind them. She gasped and her scent intoxicated him. Before Harry could move every never ending was aware of how close he was pressed against this woman. Her curves seemed to melt into him as if she were apart of him and not a separate being.

She clutched onto his shoulders with tiny hands as his own fingers scraped the wall she was pressed against, curling as his hands clenching into fists. The walls around them trembled as his mind began to withdraw into darkness. _'Fuck. No. Not now.'_ Harry thought as images flashed before him.

_Harry grabbed her arm spinning her around in the process and pressing her against the wall. Her chest was heaving, her breasts brushing against his as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. _

"_You cheated." She scolded in disbelief. "You're supposed to be noble and selfless."_

_Harry chuckled into her neck and he felt her shiver against him. Taking advantage of the situation he placed an open mouthed kiss in the hollow above her collar bone. He could taste the light sheen of perspiration and vanilla on her skin and he pushed himself closer against her. She shivered delectably against him and parted her legs so he could nestle between her more comfortably while he kissed his way up her neck finding her racing pulse point. Her soft curves moulded against his as if she were melting into him. Soon their lips met in a frenzy of emotions and desire so strong that no teenagers should normally feel. When their tongues clashed he no longer felt like they were two separate individuals._

Harry jerked his mind out of the past when a loud crash sounded near him. He turned his head around, keeping the woman against him protectively pinned to the wall. He saw that the entire ceiling had fallen in. Bodies were rising from the rubble with spells being shot in all directions but Harry found himself unable to move. Where was Ron?

He was about to look for his partner when a black robe came into view. He heard the woman before him shout a loud 'no' but the tall figure behind him cast a jet of red light he couldn't shield himself against fast enough. The last thing he heard was the familiar lilt to a voice before he was stunned.

* * *

"You let seven Death Eaters escape from right under your noses." Robards bellowed as Harry, Ron Conner and O'Brien stood battered and bruised before him. "What a load of rubbish this is."

"Sir, we were outnumbered." Ron muttered. He did not want to sell his fellow Auror's out by saying that Conner and O'Brien had been taken out before they even reached the fray.

"Improvise Weasley." Robards shouted. "Why did you not place anti apparition jinxes and protective enchantments around the building while you waited for back up to arrive?"

"We did sir." Ron said.

"Then how the hell did all the other Death Eaters, except two, get free?"

Harry and Ron exchanged a dark look before they looked over at Robards' furious mug.

"The Force." O'Brien slurred through his blood clogged mouth with more than four teeth missing.

Conner reached into his torn and tattered robes placing the red 'F' The Force left behind after every interception on Robards' desk. Harry flinched as he saw that Conner's fingers were bent in odd angles.

"Fuck." Was all Robards could shout as he slammed his fists into his desks. "I want a full report on my desk before you four leave. Written in exact detail, not leaving a single fucking minute out. Get out."

"Prat." Ron muttered as he and Harry made their way to their own offices. O'Brien and Conner went to St. Mungos first.

Harry's thoughts raced as he thought about the day. The Force were a group of unidentified beings who interrupted Auror missions. They had been in operation for the last two years intercepting the Aurors and capturing Death Eaters for themselves. Why, was still the million galleon question.

No one knew of their intentions as they did not make any demands on the Ministry. As yet. At first of course they had suspected The Force was a band of rogue Death Eaters saving their own kind. Later it became apparent that this could not be the truth. The Force members could not be Voldemort supporters because they had never hurt an Auror with the intention to harm. While they may stun, hex, jinx or bind the Aurors not one had been killed by a Force member. They normally came in threes or fives, once or twice Harry had heard of seven during more complex missions which involved stronger Death Eaters.

He didn't understand them. They were obviously not evil but why would they save the Death Eaters. It wasn't to set them free because none so far had been sighted causing havoc after being captured by the Force. Some Death Eaters went willingly, choosing the unknown over knowing they would be shut up in Azkaban with the Dementors before trial if apprehended by the Aurors. And they knew that a fair trial that worked against them would result in the Dementors kiss. Some chose to fight the Aurors of with the Force members, which obviously disadvantaged the Aurors, before taking on the Force members not wanting to give in.

"Why the bastards don't just give in I don't understand." Ron groaned. "I mean they didn't fight at the final battle, choosing to run like pansies and now they still want to Muggle hunt and cause destruction.

The world was far from being safe. Three years on and mass numbers of Voldemort's supporters were choosing to cause trouble. Harry guessed they figured if they were going to go down they would rather go down fighting. They also believed in Voldemort's tyranny, like Muggles should bow to wizards and magical blood should be kept pure. Death Eaters knew that they would not be left alone. They knew as long as Harry Potter drew breath, he would hunt them down and bring them to justice. The Death Eaters were certain of what awaited them at the Ministry with Kingsley as Minister and Harry Potter in the Auror department.

Harry couldn't think of who would benefit from capturing Death Eaters. He thought back to the first time the Force had intervened.

They had shocked the Aurors with there presence as they had broken through masterful anti-apparation spells and powerful wards. They stunned as many Aurors and Death Eaters as they could. The Force immediately started turning large objects they could find in the rubble into portkeys to transfer Death Eaters away from the scene. Before they could be apprehended they had made a clean break for it. It was suspicious because they were obviously very skilled wizards and witches. What they were after though, no one knew.

A red message was left emblazoned on a wall. A large 'F' with the words: _'The force will return them to you when we're ready. We mean you no harm.'_

No one knew what to make of it as not one of the Force members had yet to be caught. They were very skilled and they seemed to be extremely loyal to each other. Harry had watched once as a Force member called of a particularly nasty mission when one of them had been badly injured. The member who could have been the leader called of his troupe without a care that they had been leaving behind some very powerful Death Eaters. Harry could not imagine Death Eaters showing fellow maniacs that much of consideration.

As Harry and Ron reached the temporary holding cells in the DMLE Harry found the two Death Eaters they had managed to send back to the Ministry. He still hated the fact that six of the bastards had managed to evade capture and seven were taken by the Force.

Harry picked up the thin wizard by the scruff of his neck and he hovered a few inches above the grimy floor. Harry scowled intimidatingly at the Death Eater's bad breath before his other hand held the wizards face in a strong grip.

"_Legilimens." _Harry muttered as he invaded the mind of the Death Eater.

After minutes of sifting through the worthless thoughts of carnage and stupidity he dropped the wizard unceremoniously before picking up the other Death Eater. This one seemed to have fairly decent Occlumency skills but Harry's mind was too sharp for that. After watching horrid games of Muggle torture and a few bases that housed other Death Eaters Harry gripped the man's throat.

Harry squeezed at the Death Eater's wind pipe as his magic crackled around him like an aura of vibrant hatred.

"Harry." Ron called out as he placed a strong hand on Harry's shoulder.

Still feeling the rage swelling dangerously inside of him Harry shook off Ron's hand and rolled his neck around his stiff shoulders. However he calmed down reasonably and focused on the fearful, purple face of the Death Eater. Harry looked at the wizard with utter disgust and hatred before he flung the Death Eater against the wall. Ron flinched as the man's head smacked against the cell before he slid to the floor, blood streaming down his skull.

Ron wisely kept his mouth shut while Harry closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before walking out of the temporary holding cell. Ron kept a close eye on Harry. He knew that Harry had made a lot of progress in the last couple of weeks but that did not mean he was still in full control of his power. Yet the only person who could put a stopper on all that rage and hatred was Harry. So Ron decided to change tactics. "Find anything useful?" He asked.

"A bit. None of them knew anything about the Force that we don't. Neither of them had contacted the Force though. However the last one did have some interesting information on other Death Eater hide outs. We'll have to react fast though, I'm sure the Death Eaters the Force captured would have the same information by now."

Ron nodded. "It couldn't have been anyone here Harry, this was a check up remember. How did they know where to come? The only people involved were Robards, you and me. And it was us that got the tip off. We told Robards only moments before we left. Even if he's the leak we didn't tell him the location and he was fine with that."

Harry nodded at Ron as he pondered this. "They were called." Harry said wisely.

Ron nodded. "Yeah. But how did the Death Eaters manage to call the Force without us being aware of it? Patronuses?"

"Possible." Harry thought aloud. "Or the Force members could be Death Eaters."

"Harry, Death Eaters would never leave us alive though. Look at today, that one had a clear shot at killing you but only stunned you. You're Harry Potter mate, which Death Eater wouldn't want to boast about killing you and taking up Voldy's old spot?"

Harry could only nod at this again. "I know. It just doesn't make sense. Nothing about them fucking makes sense. How they break through some of my wards so easily is even more fucking annoying."

Harry was thinking about the woman he had had pinned against the wall today. Her bloody scent had aroused memories of Ginny in the middle of a mission and he had been stunned because of that. He was glad only Ron had been there to witness it and had covered for him during the report with Robards.

"Err, Harry. What happened back there? I was duelling this guy and he was pretty good. Fast too. He managed to apparate behind me and elbowed me in the back. He incarcerated me before I could even pick up my wand."

"Are you sure it was a guy?" Harry asked and Ron frowned.

"Yeah." Ron shook his head. "He grunted when he knocked me off my feet. He definitely sounded male. And he was wearing a wizards cologne."

This gave Harry's suspicions more clarity. Although from what he had felt he was pretty damn sure she had been a witch. "Mine was female." Harry confided.

"Really." Harry heard the surprise in Ron's voice. "She had given you a go then, didn't she." Ron joked.

"Yeah." Harry admitted appreciatively. "Yeah, she did."

"_You're too afraid to attack me." Harry bellowed at her. _

"_Of course I am. You know I'm powerful, Harry." She smirked at him. "If I hit you with all my power I could harm you." _

_Harry rolled his eyes. "You challenged me to a duel, Ginny. I expect you to give it your all." He wanted to fight Ginny fairly. The prospect excited him more than it scared or worried him. He did not like that she was holding back on him. "If a Death Eater was using my face to lure you into not attacking him are you going to be weak and be fooled by that?" He asked her._

_She narrowed her eyes at him before pointing her wand more forcefully at him. Harry smirked as he held his wand at the ready too. _

"_Ready?" He asked her._

_Her reply was a stunning flash of yellow light that Harry quickly manipulated aside. He was thankful that he had done so as he watched the spell fly at the wall and create a small crater in the stone. Thankfully the room of requirement they had chosen was equipped to rebuild itself after any duelling damage done inside of it. _

_Harry was so engrossed at looking at Ginny's wand work that he barely had time to cast a shield charm as she advanced on him. He was placed on the offensive as flurries of light burst purposefully at him. He managed to deflect a charm cleverly as it rebounded off the wall. Quickly he closed his eyes as he requested the room to bounce the magic back at Ginny. _

_She was quick and agile though. Her Quidditch skills making her lithe, her petite frame dodging the spell easily. She did not have the time to react however as Harry grabbed her arm, spinning her around in the process and placing her against the wall. Her chest was heaving, her breasts brushing against his as he buried his face in the crook of her neck. _

"_You cheated." She scolded in disbelief. "You're supposed to be noble and selfless."_

_Harry chuckled into her neck and he felt her shudder against him. Taking advantage of the situation he placed an open mouthed kiss on the hollow above her collar bone. He could taste the light sheen of perspiration and vanilla on her skin and he pushed himself closer against her. She shivered delectably against him and parted her legs so he could nestle between her more comfortably while he kissed his way up to her racing pulse point. Her soft curves moulded against his as if she were melting into him. Soon their lips met in a frenzy of emotions and desire so strong that no teenagers should normally feel. When their tongues clashed he no longer felt like they were two separate individuals._

_Ginny tangled her fingers in his hair holding his mouth greedily to hers. They kissed deeply, feeding of their exertion as if it were an aphrodisiac to their natural, potent chemistry. Their tongues duelled for dominance as they had battled magically moments ago. When they broke apart to gasp lungfuls of air desperately Harry could only bury his head in her hair as she sighed against him. _

_He was sixteen years old after all. His urges were normal. Yet he could feel that Ginny wasn't ready. She wanted him as much as he wanted her but now was not the time to indulge in those wants. She arched against him and he rubbed himself against her while he tried to calm his breathing, his fingers still playing with the bare skin of her midriff beneath her clothes. _

"_It would have been too embarrassing if Harry Potter's girlfriend beat him in a duel. Think of what Voldemort would say?" Harry grinned as he could literally feel her roll her eyes at him._

_She had challenged him to a duel while they had been having supper in the Great Hall that evening. They had been daring each other to do silly things all week and Harry found their own form of competitive flirting exhilarating. And the rewards after, very much worth while. Her eyes had lit up when she had challenged him and although he did not want to be a victim of her infamously good bat bogey hex he wanted to spend time doing more fun things with Ginny. _

"_Is that so?" Ginny exclaimed thoughtfully. "You have to admit though, I did give you a good go though, didn't I?"_

_He smiled broadly down at her, his chest swelling with unmistakable pride that she was his girlfriend. "Yeah, yeah you did." _

_Smiling at his compliment happily she pulled his lips down to hers again. All he could think of was he could spend hours kissing her like that. _

* * *

He complimented his team on a job well done. He knew they were almost there. There weren't many Death Eaters left and the one _she_ wanted was in their sights. Soon he would be ready to make his mark in the world and take his rightful place amongst them once again. He would no longer live in shame, being shunned as if he were a mere peasant or commoner for being weak.

Not that he wasn't already doing so. However the final step would be the most fulfilling he knew. He had to admit though, he was actually enjoying already winning against old rivals and enemies without some of them even knowing it.

However, today had scared him. For the first time he had felt close to losing everything he had worked so hard to build in the last three years. That was not what had made him fearful though. He knew he would have sacrificed it all to keep ... Pushing those thoughts away he refused to give them any credit, he still had a mission to complete. One that was his own doing. Something that was all _his_ hard work and success. And if things played out the way he wanted them to, then he would finally be able to call himself his own man.

Then he would finally be able to live with himself.

He took in a deep breath and smirked at the six people before him. It had not been easy reaching here but they all had. He trusted them more than he trusted anyone in the world right now. He trusted one of them with his life.

"Everyone except Red can leave." He dismissed them and they all filed out in an orderly manner, befitting their superior breeding.

Yet he could hear the excited murmurs of a job well done outside before the door was closed shut. Then he turned to face the only occupant still seated in their meeting room. She did not look at him and so he moved his chair away from the table and closer to hers. She always sat on his left and he would not have her anywhere else.

When their knees touched with their closeness he took her tiny chin in his long fingers and lifted her face to his. Her eyes met his and he raised an eyebrow at her. She rolled her eyes at him and swatted away his wrist.

"I'm fine." She told him standing up and making to leave.

Before she could go he grabbed her slender wrist and halted her. "If you let your emotions blind your good judgement again Red, then I'll have no choice but to leave you on guard duty with Astoria and Ren, when Potter is on sight."

He watched as her brown eyes flashed at his threat. "It won't happen again, Malfoy." She used his surname only when she was annoyed with him. He watched as she confidently pulled her hand from his hold and marched out the door with her head held high.

Draco Malfoy watched Ginny Weasley walk away from him with a sense of ominous foreboding.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I spent a lot of time working on this chapter because it sets up quite a lot for the future of the story. I'm really not one for dragging things out. Hope it was good. Please imagine that Harry and Ginny spent five months in HBP instead of a couple of weeks by the lake together before he dumps her at a funeral. *sigh*

So here Ginny spent only about two months dating Dean before realising she really didn't want to be with him and Harry spent only two months after that trying to work up his wonderful Gryffindor courage – without the help of Felix Felicius of course – to finally kiss Ginny. So even though he kissed her after a Quidditch match, that lovely Professor Snape kept him from it doesn't have to be the final.

Also, Harry is struggling to cope with controlling his dark magic (where it's coming from and why will be explained in time) because he can't overcome his anger and hatred, it's fuelling that part of him and while he may be doing dark things Harry will always be Harry and I'd never make our hero kill anyone or rape or torture people.

Yes, The Force(more details and identifications will follow in later chapters of course) is run by Draco and one of his recruits is none other than Ginny. I'm so excited about writing this part of the story that I introduced them to you earlier. So next chapter we will be going back in time because I have to give you much back story on why a prejudiced, pure blood would ever align himself with a Muggle loving, blood traitor.

Thank you for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**WARNINGS: Loads of cussing, mild torture, violence and character death. Reader discretion is advised during this extra long chapter!**

* * *

**Playing Dead**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

_**HOGWARTS in late 1997: Under the Regime of Headmaster Severus Snape during the second Wizarding War when Voldemort returned to power**_

"_... but that Weasley girl! What's so special about her?"_

That had been the question Draco Malfoy had asked a year before, having never really paid any attention to the youngest Weasley. He was slowly starting to have his question answered. Yet, it was not as Pansy Parkinson had told him that day on the Hogwarts Express.

He was not looking at Ginny Weasley's pretty face or fiery red hair, he was not seeing her tiny figure that called to a very ancient protective instinct in a male. He had heard her screams as Crabbe and Goyle had used the Cruciatus Curse on her. Draco had seen Amycus Carrow leer at her when she mouthed off to him. Draco had watched her being tortured in the most disturbing ways for females ever. He had seen how Alecto Carrow had beaten her when she made a note to stand up for Muggles.

It was her spirit that intrigued him.

Witnessing her rebellion, he wasn't sure whether Weasley was incredibly brave or stupendously foolish. Possibly both.

Here she was now – just having experienced the Cruciatus Curse and wand whipping mere hours ago – attempting to free first years from "detention", causing diversions and even offering herself in their stead. She had come to learn to take her punishment in a way that not even he had been able to. She annoyed him more than anyone else in this school now.

She, leading that brainless fool Longbottom and that oddity Lovegood as if they were the new golden trio. As if she had a right to walk these halls and take St. Potter's place because she had been snogging him at the beginning of the year.

She made herself a target. She wore her undesirability like a fucking shield of determination and everyday when she walked out of a detention, with her lush lips too swollen to talk through or her one vibrant eye shut closed completely, she walked with her head held high. Trying to pretend as if she were not limping or her shoulders did not desire drooping.

"She would have made a better man than you, Malfoy." That had been something Crabbe had insulted him with now that his father had lost favour with the Dark Lord.

Oh and how Draco hated that. Not that his father had lost favour but that his father had had favour at all. Why would someone like Lucius Malfoy, the adult Draco had learned to become a man from was crying like a witch at night in his mothers arms. Pawning off his only son for the Dark Lord's murderous treachery – because of Lucius' own failure – while he was safe in Azkaban and Narcissa Malfoy ran around begging for help. Because Draco's father was weak.

What had he learned from his father then? That everything he had been thought was a lie. That seeking help didn't make you weak and that money could not buy you everything. That chasing the dark side was worse than choosing a side that actually cared about you.

And who cared about him?

"You'll be safer in Hogwarts, Draco." His mother insisted as she flicked her wand for his trunk to pack itself.

He lay on his bed in a casual air of indifference yet he knew what was happening. The fucking Dark Lord was using his home as headquarters, where snakes ate dead bodies of their dining room table and blood splattered the ancient tapestries of his ancestors, where organs destroyed his mother's Persian carpets and his father's gold was used to pay off Snatchers.

His mother, the woman who had loved and nurtured him, spoiled him rotten – he could admit to that – was sending him off to Hogwarts. Screw her thoughts on being safe. They were nothing to the Dark Lord now, nowhere was safe. Where they sat at the long table every night was only a place that had fallen from grace now, held only by a name. A name that Draco had boasted at all times, had been proud to call his own, was now associated with sneers. His father did not even have a wand. And what was a fucking wizard without his wand? Lucius Malfoy was as good as the Muggles he so despised now.

Voldemort had stripped them of every right Draco Malfoy had stood upon as if it were a pedestal of his superior breeding. And now where did he stand? He stood in between the lines of good and evil, dark and light, waiting so he could escape. He couldn't wait to be off age. If his mother did not have the foresight to run, to take him with and protect him, choosing to stay here like a good obedient wife, then he would leave her too.

Draco was brought from his reverie as he heard tiny footsteps scatter along the hallway. He hid behind a suit of armour, concealed in a shadowy corner and watched Longbottom and Lovegood smile at each other in a way that made him sick. It was disgusting that they, two of the stupidest people on this planet could look at each other like that. What difference did it make now that Pansy's adoring looks had been sold to a less disgraced wizard, more disgusting than a hideous troll.

That she could not even feign attraction to him. Love was something that was for fools. Love got you husbands in prison and put you under the regime of the darkest, merciless sorcerer in this century. All the respect and even fear Draco Malfoy once commanded was now lost because he, like his father, was weak. Where was the pride it that?

He watched as the Weasley girl came out of the classroom, ushering puny looking first years out and actually holding one close to her in a way that looked comforting and oddly encouraging.

"Weasley, you fucking slut." Draco heard the spittle flying voice of Amycus Carrow panting as he tried to run down the corridor to stop Weasley.

Instead of running, he saw the fear spark in her bright eyes before determination overwhelmed it. They were fighting a war within these Castle walls and anyone who said otherwise were fucking lying to themselves.

She bent down to the shivering first year and smiled sweetly at him. How could she smile in the face of trouble. Stupid girl. "Go." She said forcefully. "I'll come over now." So easily the lies tumbled from her pretty lips.

The boy shook his head fearfully, at least he was no fool, and looked up at Weasley as if infatuated with the red head. As if she were his hero. Weasley shoved the boy gently on his way. Weasley knew that the little boy's legs would not be able to carry him away from Amycus fast enough so she stood to buy the boy time. Stood there and took in a deep breath to sacrifice herself. It was a war after all. Sacrifices would have to be made.

He watched as she went over to the classroom and leaned against the wall, she was now in full view of him and he wondered why he was standing there watching her in the darkness like some creepy love sick teenager. He briefly thought if he were trying to learn how to be a better man from her. He knew though, he was simply trying to figure out what disgusted him more now.

All the vile things the Death Eaters enjoyed doing that he could not stomach or the old prejudices, that had been thought to him as a baby, that all blood traitors were an abomination and they deserved what they got.

It was in that moment that Amycus reached her, huffing his fat arse off, pointing his wand towards her when she just stood there bravely did Draco finally realise which was worse and which he wanted to be a part of less. He was a snake at heart and he would never be fully faithful to any side, but he would chose the one he could slither into a hole and live his life of luxury when all this was over and done with. Because it would end, one way or another.

* * *

Ginny knew that she was in trouble the moment Amycus' beady eyes leered at her. She controlled herself trying to suppress a shiver of disgust desperately while she leaned casually against the wall. She studied her nails before dropping her hand and crossing them over her chest. She looked down at Amycus with revulsion and disdain.

"Filthy, little whore. How dare you look at me like that?" He spat and Ginny had to compose her face into a cold mask as she refused to flinch from his spittle landing on her face.

"Know a lot about whores do you, Carrow? I suspect you would have to." She looked down his short, stumpy frame and stopped at his crotch. A vindictive smirk on her face.

"Why you ..." What she was Ginny never heard as he reached out with one pudgy hand to grab her throat. Before she could draw her wand he fell flat on his face, at her feet.

Ginny looked around in relief, a huge smile playing on her lips as she prepared to thank Neville when the smile fell from her mouth. She gasped and drew her wand immediately as Draco Malfoy stepped out from within the shadows, his wand still held at the knocked out Carrow, before he lowered it.

Her heart was beating at a ridiculously fast pace considering she had just broke out a lot of students from the mercy of Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson then faced Carrow one on one.

Ginny knew that she would never be expelled. She was a pure blood. That they would never spill her precious blood. She knew that they kept her here to try and break her spirit. To try and "educate" her on their ways. But she also knew with an undying certainty that she would never give in.

Ginny thought of a million hexes she knew, forming one readily on the tip of her tongue as she watched Malfoy. Why had he saved her? He was a bloody Death Eater for heavens sake.

She expected Malfoy wanted to enjoy himself with her. After all, Slytherin bastards had definitely tried to go down that route with her, before she gave them a taste of her bat bogey hex. Malfoy's cold eyes looked her up and down with disgust before he sneered at her pointed wand.

He walked straight at her, still not raising his own wand instead storing it back in his robes and stood at the pointed end of hers. She raised an eyebrow at him and he smirked. He walked around her and Ginny stood still, frozen by something that she did not understand. He was so close she could feel his breath on the nape of her neck.

She thought she felt his face in her hair but when she turned around quickly, her thick tresses lashing around her, Ginny found him gone.

Her eyes widened before she surveyed the corridor around her. Twirling around with her wand still held at the ready Ginny finally took in a deep, calming breath. She had not realised she had been starving her lungs for air before. Looking down at Amycus at her feet Ginny gave him a swift kick before she rushed away to the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

Days later Ginny dreamt of a pale shadow that emerged from around her and shielded her amidst darkness like moonlight.

She knew why her dreams were presented as such, she just wasn't sure if she understood them entirely. Twisting in her tangled covers Ginny headed to the common room. She sat by the fire wondering why Malfoy had saved her. Her mind whirred with everything she knew about him.

Then did she realise that she really didn't _know him_. She hated him for the the things he was associated with and what he had done. Possibly the only time she had ever spoken to Malfoy was in Flourish and Blotts before her first year. He had spoken to her once only when he had mocked her in spite for that stupid Valentines message she had sent Harry that same year.

She felt anger well within her as she remembered it had been his bloody father that had put Tom Riddle's diary in her cauldron. Then she remembered the times he had called Hermione a mudblood, showing no remorse for the ones that had been petrified. Worse so she thought of all the times he had insulted her family, poked fun at her father and laughed at her mother.

Then why did he save her tonight? Leave her without even trying to snog her or force her into a broom cupboard. Why had he left without rubbing it in her face now?

Ginny growled in frustration. She paced the common room fire and ran her hands through her hair. She hated Malfoy more so because of his jealousy of Harry. For everything he had done to torment Harry and Ron. For trying to curse Harry and hex him. Malfoy had not so much as looked at her since a couple nights ago and she could not comprehend it. It frustrated her to no end. She was too determined and curious to let something like this go without rational explanations.

That could have been why Ginny surreptitiously followed him the next day after lunch. It did not escape her notice that he did not participate in all the torture activities his fellow Slytherins did. However, that normally came with his boredom and disinterest. Always some drawled comment about not dirtying his hands, wasting his time or a yawn about how he had better things do to.

She wondered now if it was all just an act because he did not enjoy the torture. She could not believe she was actually making justifications for Draco Malfoy. Maybe all the dark magic was addling with her brains.

Ginny turned a deserted corridor where a large, stone wizard shrouded a corner in darkness. When she looked ahead it was empty. Ginny frowned wondering where Malfoy went off to before she felt a hand around her mouth and another around her waist. She tried to squirm against her captor but they held on tightly, moving backwards with her. She was about to slam her foot on theirs but she was roughly pushed around and against a wall.

Her head hit the stone hard and her eyes began to tear. She blinked them back furiously as someone stood before her, hand still clasped to her mouth.

Her eyes widened as Malfoy had her pressed against the wall before it narrowed dangerously at him. He scoffed at her before he leaned in closer to her. She tried not to think of his breath on her skin as fear whispered around her.

"Why is the littlest Weasel following me around? Is she missing scarhead that much?" She heard the malice in his words but there was something more like curiosity there. Or was there?

Was she simply hearing things now that Malfoy had done one decent thing for her? He slowly removed his hand from her mouth but did not move away from her. He raised one pale eyebrow mockingly at her. She noticed his hands were now pressed against the wall on either side of her head. She frowned at his pointed features noticing that there was an almost greyish tinge to his skin. His pale blonde hair lank, his grey eyes looked empty and hard. She had never been this close to Malfoy before.

"Move." She told him sternly. In reality she did not want him to move, she wanted to stay this close to him so she could read his every expression. His face was impassive and she felt frustration flare inside of her. Why were her emotions being this contraindicative and why was she looking at Malfoy like he was a puzzle that needed to be solved? Why the hell did he save her last night?

She watched as he lowered his hands to his sides and stepped back. His eyes though, never left hers. Ginny didn't run from him, she did not even move away from Malfoy.

"Why?" She asked softly and she saw his eyes narrow at her. He was contemplating how much he should tell her because she knew he was smart enough to know what she was asking.

"I don't know." She heard the honesty in that simple drawl. He wasn't being sarcastic or patronising. It was such a simple reply that she believed him without a doubt. "Why do _you_ do it?"

Ginny frowned as he asked her this. "Do what? Save people?" She asked as if she needed clarification.

"They were just a bunch of first years, Weasley. Don't make yourself out to be some hero here. You're just a rebel." She saw his eyes flicker with something unidentifiable as she fumed at his belittling of her sacrifices.

"To you it may have been just first years, Malfoy but to me they had been children subjected to sick torture by your own kind." She made to walk away from him, reconsidering all the doubts she had about him and deciding he was a cold prat after all when his arm snaked at her. He caught her wrist with cold, long fingers and held her back.

"You still didn't answer me."

She glared at him before she felt compelled to tell him. "Because it was the right thing to do."

He tilted his head to the side, his forehead creased in a frown, watching her as if he couldn't figure her out. What the hell? She should be looking at him like that. Why was he suddenly taking an interest in her?

So many questions.

"_I can't put you in danger, Ginny."_ Harry's words came back to haunt her but she couldn't imagine the Death Eaters using her to draw out Harry. They would have done so already if that were the case. Right? A subtle approach was not their style. They believed in brute force, kidnapping and bribery of imminent death is what they dealt in.

"I'm surprised." Draco told her simply, his eyes still looked far away. "I expected you to spew some rubbish about it making you want to shit out rainbows and unicorns and all that." He had such a perplexed look on his face that for once Ginny found the ever cool Malfoy intriguing.

She realised then why he was asking her this. The same reason he had saved her last night. She took a hesitant step forward. Her action seemed to snap him from his reverie and he dropped her hand quickly as if she disgusted him, taking a step away from her. Too late though. Ginny cold see it now, clearly as if his pale face was transparent to her.

"I don't like doing what I have to do, Malfoy. Because no eleven year should have to go through what these kids are going thorough now. Or ever! They came here with the promise of learning sometime beautiful and magical but get caught in the midst of a war because a bloody hat put them in Gryffindor. I wish I didn't have to do what I do everyday because it doesn't, in any way, make me feel like I want to shit out rainbows and unicorns."

He stood listening to her, that impassive and bored look etched into his pointed features again, but there was something else there. Camaraderie, almost.

"I didn't feel anything either." He told her and Ginny had to resist from crowing in victory. Her suspicions where being confirmed.

Draco Malfoy, for all his pure blood prejudices and haughty, snotty, snobbish ideals was not a Death Eater. He may have been branded, he may have had years of generational pure blood running icily in his veins but he was not a Death Eater. He was not a Death Eater when he couldn't kill Dumbledore last year and he was not a Death Eater today. Draco Malfoy was not a Death Eater because his asshole father was one.

He was a seventeen year old _boy_ living in the shadows his dark sire had cast upon him, trying to lure him in. And Ginny Weasley felt something inside of her urge her to fight for him. It could be that rebellious streak that she felt ever since Harry, Ron and Hermione had left. Putting herself and Neville in charge of the Death Eaters at Hogwarts. Or the fact that he had saved her from Carrow. Maybe it was because when she looked this closely into those impenetrable grey eyes, she saw something worth redeeming there. Weren't her parents always telling her that everyone deserved a second chance. Whatever it was, she would get Malfoy away from Voldemort's clutches. If the ugly bastards were trying to sway the good wizarding population with murder and fear then she would sway Draco Malfoy with kindness and care.

"But you know, don't you. Deep down, somewhere in that slippery, slimy ugly heart of yours, you know what's right." He smirked at her insult and Ginny felt pleased.

"You divide this world into right and wrong little Weasley, light and dark but the world isn't that simple. There are fifty shades of grey in between." Now he sounded patronising and Ginny frowned at him.

"No, there isn't." Ginny told him and he smirked at her. Yet it was cold and empty, wise and knowing and he took a step towards her.

His long face inches from hers. "Those first years had a choice. They could have shut their little traps and kept their heads down. Yet they sing precious Potter's praises and get beaten for it. You have a choice Weasley, you don't have to sacrifice yourself for them but you muck up your pretty little face and surrender all your modesty to vouch for precious Potter too. You don't have to." She heard the bitterness in his voice when he spoke about Harry and choices.

"That is not a choice Malfoy, that is the cowards way out. It is good as wrong." She spat.

"Cowards? You talk of bravery, then tell me what your family is doing right now Weasley? What every Muggle loving fool, half blood or mudblood is doing right now? They are making a choice of self preservation. They are choosing in these dark times to run or hide or keep their heads bent low, because they know that to openly oppose the Dark Lord would get them killed before they could even make a difference. Potter, I may loathe the self righteous bastard but I know the dick. He's made a choice because he's up to something. He would never run from the chance to be a hero. He wants the Dark Lord dead as much as You-Know-Who wants him dead." She raised her eyebrows at him but neither confirmed or denied his words. He asked for none though. Instead he continued. "Tell me Weasley, your family is in that Order right, yet Dumbledore is dead. Why aren't they openly opposing the Dark Lord now?"

Ginny could not answer him. She knew that she was protected by her pure blood status while Muggle borns all over, who were caught trying to run, were being shut up in Azkaban or traded as sex slaves and fresh meat to the werewolves. She knew that her family was lying about Ron's whereabouts because they wanted to remain safe. Malfoy had a point. Where was the bravery in that?

He smirked at her silence. Ginny however would not let him have the upper hand in this conversation. "Is that what you're doing, Malfoy? Waiting to make a difference?"

He laughed at this. An empty hollow sound. Yet it sounded so strange. She had never heard Malfoy laugh before and she wondered what it would sound like when real. "You over estimate me little, Weasley. I never had a choice in the matter. What I did, I did because I didn't have a fucking choice. But I don't have a death wish, Weasley. My conscience gives a damn about heroics and right and wrong. As long as I'm alive, I can sleep at night."

The words "I don't believe you" were on the tip of her tongue. Yet as much as she was actually standing here, talking to Malfoy in a way she knew the arse must not have spoken to anyone else before, she was wise enough to not push her luck.

"If you did have a choice Malfoy, which would it be?" Ginny could not help but ask. She wanted desperately to know. She hadn't realised she had taken a step closer to Malfoy until their noses almost touched. Her eyes roved from his twin pair of steel orbs, trying to siphon a meaning to the swirling look behind the glassiness of it all.

She was disappointed when he took a hasty step back and walked around her. Ginny turned to watch him and he halted. He did not turn around though. "I still would not choose." He said softly and she understood what he meant.

He would lurk in the shadows like the slippery fiend he was, waiting for the victorious side to emerge so he could take his place amongst them. He was like the Prince of serpents in her mind, the most cunning the most vile and the most dangerous. Yet Ginny admired his honesty and at the same time she knew he was lying.

"You already did." She told him softly and he turned around in stunned silence to stare at her. "And I owe you a thank you for it, Draco." She used his name, the first time in her life. The syllables sounding odd slipping off her tongue but perfectly right in the moment. She saw something glint silvery in his eyes but did not spend any more time trying to figure out the sheer enigma that was Draco Malfoy. She could be so wrong abut him, but in her own heart she knew she could long since tell what was right.

* * *

He watched her sit on the highest tower, bloody and bruised having been refused to be allowed in the hospital wing. He pitied her, it was as simple as that. She was a Weasley, a blood traitor but he did not have the stomach to watch her bleed into a frail shell of herself that would break against one more blow of wind.

Just as he could no stomach the thought of killing someone. Even a mudblood. That was what made him unable to be a Death Eater. Because at the end of the day, when you stripped back all those society induced labels, what did you have? Simple human beings all fighting the same fight. Only in different ways.

"Don't move." She hissed as she turned her wand on him.

He stepped from the shadows so she could see him and she immediately slumped, lowering her wand.

He was wrong. She would never waste a way into nothing. She was too fierce and strong for that. He was starting to think that nothing could break the little waif. As if remembering she looked completely hideous with one eye shut closed, swollen and purple, her mouth bleeding and double lipped, she turned away from him.

He only knew one way to help her and so he did. He went to stand in front of her. He dared not touch her for she would hiss and scratch at him like the defensive feline she was. Instead he continued to glare at the crown of her head, the moonlight making her hair look alight in a shade of burning red and gold sparks against her pearlescent skin. The blood that trickled down her neck making her look oddly sensual. He knew now why Blaise had fancied her, why Potter had chosen her, why many other wizards wanted her. He thanked his Malfoy prejudices that he would never desire her.

He knew he unnerved her. He wasn't sure it was because he was a Malfoy, a Death Eater or he was himself. He found he wanted it to be the third for some reason. She looked up at him, those brown eyes of hers bright in the dark and he smirked.

He picked up his wand and she immediately took a step back. He found her fear towards him annoying. "If I wanted to hurt you Weasley, I would have done so when your back was turned. Or pushed you off the tower. I'm a Slytherin remember." He sneered at her. Instead of scaring her more, as surely his words should do, she seemed reassured.

"What then?" She whispered in such a soft voice, hoarse from crying and he was amazed that not one tear graced her cheeks now.

"My mother thought me basic healing charms. I … she thought it wise to know. Given our circumstances. Since none of yours wounds are from dark magic I can heal you."

Ginny nodded at him and he was amazed that when he asked her to close her eyes she did so without a moments hesitation. He shook his head at her trusting ways, so powerful a witch so naïve and innocent. He still didn't understand it.

He spoke the spells out loud because he knew she was smart enough to take note and store them away in that brain of hers. She was not an insufferable know it all like Granger but she was intelligent. When she opened her eyes she looked at him with gratitude but did not embarrass him with words.

"She said she wanted me to heal so I could see what I looked like, before she hurt my ugly face again." Ginny said as if she were retelling a little joke. She even gave a dry chuckle afterwards. He needn't ask who the "her" was. He knew. "She said if she used dark magic she would not have the pleasure of doing it to me again and again but I shouldn't be reassured. She said when she was bored she would make it permanent."

He would never be able to tell what her confiding had sparked inside of him but words were flowing from is mouth as if he were jinxed with a verbal diarrhoea spell. He turned around to stare at the pale moon and she followed to stand beside him.

The space between them seemed like nothing when he told her about the torture he had went through on failing his task of killing Dumbledore. Of having to witness his father being beaten to an inch of his life.

After that night, this had become their ritual. Him healing her and she talking to him in a way that no one else ever had. He enjoyed listening to her, her soft voice washing over him soothingly, because he could simply hear her and forget, in that space of time; who he was and where he lay. He appreciated that she looked at him as if he were just a normal wizard. Not an outcast failure amongst his own kind or a hated enemy to her kind.

Draco thought he could actually feel pride in having a proper conversation, free of petty crying, with someone who wasn't a ghost haunting a girls lavatory.

He would not know that in that moment, Ginny Weasley was comparing him to the moon they so intently watched. So cracked and cratered yet so competent in its shine. Even when it was hidden amongst dark clouds, seemingly flawed in its shapes that were never full, you knew it was complete. You knew it was capable of giving of his own pale light.

* * *

_**March 1998**_

This night was not like the other nights. She was hurting more than normal he could tell. There late night healing sessions were more sombre and accepting. This one Draco knew would be blameful and bitter. And he knew in that moment she would damn him. She would hate him.

"Don't" She told him as he lifted his wand. She paced away from him and he knew she needed to release her pent up frustration. He was not sure when in the six months he had come to read her emotions so clearly but he knew he could. He had excellent observation skills.

"This is a reminder that bitch said." Ginny told him and stared defiantly at him.

Her long, lush locks had been cut of jaggedly as if by a blade and he knew she felt exposed and bare. Draco thought she looked like a pixie, devilish and enchanting but he refrained from sharing this with her.

It was what was carved beneath her collar bone, in bold letters, he knew that made it worse. Dark magic would never heal the words that would now adorn her fair, once flawless skin forever.

"_Blood Traitor"_

He had called her and her entire family that so many a time but for some reason seeing it carved into her flesh made something inside of him simmer. Draco doused it with his infamous coldness in order to keep it from over flowing, lest he do something rash.

"Did you know?" She asked suddenly and he gave a rare frown in her company. How could he have known that Alecto was going to mark her like that tonight?

"No." He told her. Biting back the harsh "of course not" that would have normally followed.

"I mean your father, Draco." His name on her lips made him feel uncomfortable and he wanted to tell her she was not worthy to speak it. Her poor tongue forming his bloody name. What was she talking about his father for now?

"What are you on about Weaselette. It was a nickname he had befitted her for her heritage. She did not seem offended by it. She took it like it was an endearment. As if he were a dear friend and it a pet name for her.

"Your father slipped that diary into my cauldron at Flourish and Blotts."

She could see his eyes cloud over with confusion and she knew he wasn't following her. He knew not the details of The Chamber of Secrets openings. Possibly his own father's involvement. It had been hushed up to save her dignity and Lucius Malfoy dared not gloat about it for fear of being shamed. "That it was him who gave Voldemort the means to posses me. That it was because of your bloody father that I opened the Chamber of Secrets."

She saw the shock register in his face as he put the puzzle together. It was gone in an instant before he shrugged nonchalantly. Oh how it frustrated her. Like a match to fuel she lit up. "How dare you?" She screamed.

Ginny walked over to stand directly in front of him, their noses touching and she scowled at him. He only sneered unimpressed by her. Before she knew what she was doing, she slapped him. His face turned to the side, a red print on his pale skin. That seemed to release her anger like a damn that burst and Ginny allowed it to flood over Draco.

Ginny beat at Draco's chest wildly. She sobbed uncontrollably and yet he stood there. He simply stood as still as he could, taking every single one of her hits without the slightest hint of seeking retaliation. Then she started to cry sadly. In pain, in anger, in fear and heartache. She wept.

"Your father put that diary in my cauldron and it was him that made me loathe myself for so long. How the fuck can you just shrug that off? Oh but I forget, you care not of some silly, first year girl from Gryffindor. It was you Draco ..." This time his name was like a betrayal of her and he felt it. He felt it, felt something he had never experienced before, pierce into his flesh. He knew not what it was. _It_.

"You Draco, who let those Death Eaters in last year and got Bill scarred by Greyback. That was you. You had a choice. You were such a coward, Draco. Who were you then?"

Her words hit a nerve and he grabbed at her wrists, holding her still, ceasing her punching. He stared into her eyes and he could tell that if she stayed at Hogwarts any longer they would succeed. They would break her as they did him. That her fight would be quelled and he would no longer find her so appealing. It irked him how much the slip of a girl, a fucking Weasley nonetheless had made him reproach himself.

"You go to far." He spat thrusting her wrists away from him and she stumbled backwards a little.

She looked at him, tears streaming freely from her face. His eyes widened as she launched into him. She had flung herself at him. He stumbled slightly before he stood still again. His fists clenched stoically, his arms staying bound to his sides.

Yet her warmth enveloped him like a peculiar blanket. It was like nothing he had ever known before. Not even like his mother's hold. It unnerved him, it bothered him. He loathed her. He was close to hating her. She was a Weasley. He could not help but feel he was only just reminding himself.

Her scent seeped through his nostrils making them flare in anger and he tried desperately not to taste flowers at the back of his throat as his eye twitched in irritation at her lack of self respect.

"I despise you." She said suddenly. Her tears wetting his crisp white shirt as she sniffed back phlegm. Why did that not disgust him so? "I loathe you." She said more reassuringly.

Then she let go off him and ran away from him. It was only when she ran did his hand violently jerk towards her as if it had a mind of it's own. He glared at the hand, scowling at it while his left had lowered it again.

He would not see her back at Hogwarts as a student again.

* * *

_**Malfoy Manor in April 1998**_

When he watched the mudblood being tortured by his deranged aunt right in the seating area of his home, Potthead and Weaselbe locked in their dungeons did he feel a true moment of choice coming to him.

He could have easily told them that it was Potter standing under their roof and claim glory for his father but it was the first active choice Draco Malfoy had ever made in choosing a side. He had not confirmed it had been Potter captured at Malfoy Manor. That had brought the prat plenty of time to escape death, yet again. A wry smirk graced his face unknowing that his mother would play the final part in choosing a side not long after.

* * *

_**Battle of Hogwarts: May 1998**_

Ginny Weasley always thought of herself as a courageous young woman who did not need to be protected. Therefore when she was often shielded by her brothers she would be upset and annoyed at them.

Tonight she was broken.

Tonight her brother Fred had shielded her for the last time and as she watched, as if in horrible slow motion, Fred fall into her Ginny knew that she would hate this heinous act of selflessness the most.

"_No! Fred."_ Ginny screamed as her brother fell back onto her.

She knew she could not possibly carry his weight but she didn't care. She opened her arms to catch Fred and fell to her knees, cradling his upper body in her lap and in her arms. She held him to her, rocking him back and forth as she pressed her face to his, already seemingly cold, and cried her heart out.

"Fred, Fred wake up. If this is a joke, it isn't funny. Fred you wake up and let me take that curse myself. Fred, please. Don't go." Her fierce words of anger ended on a dying sob from her shaking lips.

Even with her pleading Ginny knew that Fred was gone. A ghost of a smile still on his lips and Ginny's heart broke at the sight.

She had been duelling outside the Castle, inside the Forbidden Forest with Fred and that fat bastard Amycus Carrow had come to her. They had duelled, the Weasley brother and sister a formidable team warring with the other pair of siblings. While Amycus was trying to capture her, Alecto was battling Fred. Fred's spell managed to hit Alecto hard in her stomach and she flew into a tree with bone cracking force. Ginny cackled viciously as she and Amycus watched Alecto's fate.

She skipped over to Fred to hug his brilliance while Amycus went over to check on his sister. Ginny was shocked to feel hope burgeoning inside her, a hope that Alecto was dead. Something wicked inside Ginny brought the words forward with a bitter after taste. "I hope she's dead." Ginny spat at Amycus.

"You stinkin' little blood traitor." The round blob shrieked in fury as he instantly raised his wand at Ginny, with a speed that bellied his flabby arms.

"_Avada Kedavra."_

In that millisecond Fred had stepped in front of her without a moments consideration for himself. Now he was dead. It might have been Ginny who shot that curse at Fred because she should have not been there.

She should have listened to her mother and Harry and stayed put. She knew this was a war. She had expected people to die, she knew they would lose lives but she had not expected to see the life of one of her own brothers, her favourite flesh and blood stare lifelessly at her because he had protected her. Ginny had, in no way, prepared herself for that. It was all her fault!

_Ginny fought the urge to roll her eyes at her family's sombre expressions. She loved them so much, with all her heat but she wished right now she was not apart of this family. The Weasley clan who lived with only the purest intentions of doing good were dumbstruck, simply put, at how one of their own could be apart of a scheme so evil._

_She felt like she had contaminated them with her being possessed the past year and she felt anger and hatred boil at them. Did they not know that it had been her who had had Voldemort inside of her. Having his dark words pull at her brains and crush her heart. Did they not care that her first year had been a complete nightmare. That till today she still had those nightmares. Why was it all about what her mistakes had done to_ them_?_

_Ginny sighed. Immediately she regretted the action as her family turned worried eyes on her. Her mother immediately trying to coddle her, her father too disappointed to look directly at her and Ron shuffling in discomfort as he knew it was his best friend that had saved her. That she had embarrassed him using his best friend, as if her crush on the hero Harry Potter had not been enough._

_Then she turned to see Fred and George look at each other before they released a little Zonko's spider at Ron. Mrs Weasley shrieked at them, Ron jumped from his seat screeching, knocking over his steaming bowl of soup that fell right on his crotch. He flapped his arms all the more wildly, like an Ostrich and Mr Weasley tried to regain calm at the dinner table. _

_Even Ginny smiled at this as she looked at Ron's ridiculous antics before turning to the twins. They winked at her simultaneously. She loved the twins the best. She loved all her brothers, adored them in a way only a baby sister could, but Fred and George; they were her favourites._

_They never shunned her away from their schemes, often letting her in on their plans. She loved the one's that included pranking Ron because he was always mean to her. She would follow Ron around, wanting to play with him when Fred and George were at Hogwarts and he would scream at her and get upset with her. And with Bill and Charlie abroad and Percy stuck in his own world, Fred and George were her reprieves from being the baby of the family. From being the only girl, the little girl._

_They were protective, in their own humorous ways, yet they respected and loved her enough to actually hear her and not just listen to her for the sake of listening._

_Tonight the dreams came more vividly than any other night. Her body was soaked in a cold sweat, her heart beating so fast it hurt to breathe. Fear choked back the screams that tried to escape her tear thickened throat at what she had seen._

_Dark tunnels leading into slimy openings that wreaked of decay and dampness. Ginny immediately lit her lamps in her bedroom before looking around her small room to reassure herself that it had only been a dream. Riddle was gone, only a bad memory now. A scar that would fade away into nothing but only a thrilling tale in time._

_Ginny made to turn of her lights when a soft knock on her door made her jump. She paled as her bedroom door, always left slightly ajar now, opened fully. She was paralysed with fear and only Fred's bright red hair reminded her to breathe again. She was safe. _

_Fred frowned at her ghastly expression and almost blue lips. She shivered and her brother immediately made his way to her. Her wrapped his big arms around her and she had never felt safer in her life. Breathing a heavy sigh of relief Ginny let go of all the lingering fear from her dream._

"_Nightmare?" Fred asked simply and Ginny nodded._

_Fred did not look at her with pity or disappointment. He had anger blazing in his eyes and none of it was directed at himself. It was anger at Tom Riddle and anger at himself for not protecting her more. She always discouraged his anger at himself but in a slightly selfish way it reminded her that this had not been her fault. Fred led Ginny to her bed and placed her on the end of it, bending down on his knees, sitting on her floor so he was on her level._

_Ginny sighed but looked at the window behind Fred's shoulders, simply letting her thoughts fade. She didn't need to answer Fred, ever since last year and that horrible possession she was having nightmares like crazy. She kept seeing dead bodies in her dreams. Not just any dead bodies though. Fred and George, Ron and Harry and Hermione. And they would awaken, pointing gruesome, fleshless fingers at her and marching towards her. They wanted to attack her. Kill her. _

_Unable to hold back any longer Ginny allowed tears to fall down her cheeks. Silent tears they were. Because she felt like she never deserved to cry out aloud. She was in no position to voice her anxiety after what she had done. Unwillingly or not._

"_Hey. Shhh. It's alright." Fred said softly as he brushed back her hair from her face. She hadn't told anyone about her nightmares before. When she awoke in a cold sweat during the summer after her first year, she just sit on her bed, a few candles lit to try and drain herself from her fears. No matter how much her heart hurt her chest, or her fear made her want to crawl out of her skin Ginny never went to anyone for comfort. _

_She didn't deserve it. She had been weak and foolish and she had almost killed people. She hadn't deserved to be saved and it was only because Voldemort was at the crux of it all had Harry saved her. She should have died down that slimy, snake pit._

_When her tears had ceased Fred held her hands tightly and looked at her seriously. It was the most serious she had ever seen him. "I want you to listen to me, Ginny. What happened last year was not your fault. It could have happened to anyone."_

"_No." Ginny said angrily, jumping off the bed and standing up. He made not attempt to follow suit or calm her down. "It was all my fault. I should have known better. I should have shown that diary to daddy or mum. Yet I didn't all because I was lonely. All because of a crush that I felt I couldn't talk about to anyone I knew and loved. Look what it did Fred, look what it did." _

_Fred stood up then, an angry scowl on his normally happy features. "Fine, Ginevra Weasley. You were selfish at the time not because you got played by You-Know-Who. After all, there was no way an elven year old, first year could possibly be taken in let alone possessed by the greatest evil of all time. But you know what Ginny, you should have died down that chamber last year." Fred was whispering loudly now, sarcasm dripping from his harsh words._

_Ginny felt her heart drop to her stomach as coldness settled around her. Although, hadn't she just said the very same things to herself moments ago. However, hearing Fred, one of her favourite brothers, say that aloud was too much._

"_You know that would have been less selfish, Ginny. Because you wouldn't have to know that your bloody parents would be hurt beyond repair, heartbroken that you were dead. Safe in death, you could not see that after six boys mum's only daughter, her light was put out. Oh don't worry about those same brothers who would be broken that they couldn't save their baby sister on time. And don't forget your crush, Ginny. If he came down all that way to save you and found he was too late. That would be great, Merlin knows he can lose more loved ones. Yeah, sis we would all be better off without you."_

_Ginny gaped at Fred for a long time. Admittedly she had never thought about what her death would do to her family because she had been too busy thinking about herself. Then she had been selfish. She knew with all her heart that if any of her brother's died, a part of her would die too. _

Ginny snapped into the present as Voldemort's voice slithered through all their ears, grating on their eardrums and threatening to make their brains explode in their heads.

Ginny only heard words like _"You have fought valiantly … If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I command my forces to retreat … Dispose of your dead with dignity ..."_ and then her grief momentarily subsided and her ears perked up at the next bit of that dreadful voice.

"_I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me."_

Ginny looked around her, dead bodies littered the ground near her and Amycus was smirking down at her. Alecto standing next to him, very much alive, if only a little pale.

He spat on Fred and Ginny screamed like a deranged banshee at him, wiping the spit from Fred's face and talking to her brother as if he could here her. Loss clawing at her inside, the force of grief strangling her.

Amycus picked up his wand, determined to shut her up and take her with him to finally have his way with her. Merlin knew he had been itching do to that for almost a year now. The whore had it coming. However the deep purple slash seemed to bounce of Ginny as if she had an impenetrable shield around her. She was too dazed to realise that Fred's love had given her the ultimate protection from Amycus. That when the Death Eater had tried to kill her and Fred had taken that curse for her, Amycus had made himself Ginny Weasley's Voldemort.

"What the – " Amycus stuttered like a blithering idiot, only interrupted by his harried sister.

"Come Amycus, we should go. Let the disgusting whore deal with her brothers death. Let her burn knowing it was all her fault. Then when the Dark Lord's finished Harry Potter, you can come back for her. You can have her."

She saw Amycus and Alecto apparate to where Voldemort was. Ginny stared sightlessly at Fred's face. Alecto's voice ringing in her ears over and over again.

It was all her fault. It was all her fault. It was all her fault.

"No." Ginny whispered as tears continued to stream down her dirty cheeks, burning as they passed open wounds on her face. "Fred." Ginny cried.

She wished Amycus would have killed her so she would not have to feel such a burning pain. She could not breath, she was gasping for air.

She heard people nearing the hidden trees they had been battling behind, no doubt looking for survivors. The voices and scrunching footsteps seemed to remind Ginny how to breathe again. Ginny thought about her situation. She had no doubt that Harry would go to face Voldemort one on one in the forest. She knew this as certainly as Voldemort did.

Because Harry would already be feeling guilty at having to ask people to fight for him. Having people die because of him. He would let no one else conceal him, save him, die for him. Ginny closed her eyes, silent tears still pouring down her dirty cheeks. She wished she could take his place now, at least it would be an honourable way to go.

When Harry killed that snake faced bastard – she knew Harry would, she believed in him – all the Death Eaters there would turn on Harry, she knew he would not survive. She could not see him living.

Ginny knew that she couldn't go back now. A part of her had died with Fred tonight, but all of her would perish when Harry left this world. How would she face her parents, tell George that Fred had died to protect her? Guilt and grief was such a horrible combination. How could they not blame her when it _was_ her fault? That she should not even have been here for Fred to save. Such a ugly mess she had made. Inside of her, all her Gryffindor courage withered away into nothing like ashes over a fire burned out. Ginny heard a haunting, cold drawl whisper her way.

"_When you've seen what I've seen, been where I've been, then tell me there is only good and evil in this world."_

Ginny knew now that if there had been only good and evil, Fred would not have died tonight. She didn't know how, but she knew with every fibre of her being that she was going to kill Amycus Carrow for what he had done to Fred. That she would avenge Fred. And Harry.

"Oh, Harry."

And she didn't care that she was having such murderous thoughts at that moment. She was no longer all light. She was someone else who knew that there had always been a middle ground to stand on. Ginny Weasley was dead.

She rose, like a phoenix from the ashes, and gently released Fred from her hold. She placed kisses on both his cheeks, brushing his hair away from his face and even without an apparition license she disapparated; leaving Ginny Weasley dead next to Fred.

* * *

**Author's Note:** That is where the idea for Playing Dead came from. Fred was one of my favourite Weasley brothers. I cried so much when I read his death. Till today I hate that he was killed. While pondering it I thought what it would be like if he died giving his life for someone. And being such a huge H&amp;G fan, this idea was born.

I threw Draco in the mix because I don't fancy writing and OC for such a big part, also because I soooo wanted to write him. I wanted to redeem him. Obviously JKR giving him a wife, a son and an appearance 19 years later at Kings Cross with the possibility of Rose and Scorpios was a redemption.

I wanted to give his character depth, hope, a story; and so he became my rival here. Which so aptly fits with how much Harry already despises him and the fact that they will always be rivals. Now however I realised why I love writing Draco. He's my Vegeta in Harry Potter. He's the bad boy, but not evil. Never evil. Unfortunately, I have a penchant for redeeming bad boys by romanticising them. Sad I know, but I will not change my story as I'm in love with this idea – I have never loved my own fics before as I write only because of my love for reading – and I believe Draco was kept completely in character here and will not waver in future chapters.

Dislike for Ginny was expressed, I'm sure given this chapter you can understand why she did what she did. She has experienced horrors no sixteen year should have. However this does not explain it all. More to come. In saying that, this story is still young, so please hold of until future chapters if you feel the need to offer constructive criticism on the plot. I've thought the concept out very, very carefully because I'm a picky reader myself. I really want to share this work the way I see it though.

I feel as if Ginny's could be such a wonderful heroine. Strong, independent and powerful. I'm not much one for all our damsel in distress. However, personally I know that no one is born strong and courageous, we go through hell first to get there. Give her a chance. She'll make mistakes, as did Draco at sixteen, but that's the only way she'll learn.

I apologise for mistakes (especially my homophones), I Beta my own work and with long chapters it's difficult to catch it all.

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

**Playing Dead**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

_**May 1998 – Fred Weasley's Funeral**_

**A **thick, sultry breeze picked up fallen leaves that swept the ground in rustles. The natural sound clashed violently with the loud mourning of the people gathered around freshly dug earth and dark caskets.

One of the depressing boxes was hers. She had transfigured the features of a dead Death Eater only nights ago, thankful that she was skilled in Transfiguration – or anything that she put her mind and wand to really. The Death Eater would not be missed and she had ensured the face was only slightly distinguishable beneath it being marred in battle, more so by the head of red hair. She knew she should feel despair at giving her family a Death Eater to mourn for but she did not.

Somehow Ginny couldn't fathom a hint of guilt or shame for her actions. All she felt was a cold emptiness inside of her. Something that echoed every time she looked upon one of the faces she knew so well, sitting there or standing nearby to mourn her and Fred. And it was sick – some part of her brain knew this – it nagged at her nefariously, yet still she felt nothing. She tried to feel, attempted to dredge up some sort of disdain for her behaviour or compassion at her mother's haunted face, but she felt absolutely nothing.

However, when she searched the people there her eyes failed to recognise loved ones who should have been present. She knew with certainty that they were dead. Then only did Ginny feel. It was an innate sadness but it did not make her weep. Her eyes were unnaturally dry, her face set staunchly beneath black lace falling from a huge black bonnet. The emotions that swelled within her were ones of a promise to avenge them all. She would, after three months, be able to look in a mirror again without self loathing. Once Ginny set out to do what she needed to, in order to ease her conscience. She was relieved that she did not have to go back to face her overbearing family and have looks of disappointment and blame casted upon her.

Ginny knew that this was something she had to do for herself. That if she did not, she would never be able to live with herself, forgive her person, move forward. So she willingly gave away her old life for the one she was now coveting. At that moment in time she was completely detached, unfeeling … alone.

Then her doleful brown eyes fell upon him. He sat right at the front of course, next to Ron who was being comforted by Hermione. He sat there with his hair unruly as ever, his green eyes shining even from the distance Ginny stood away from him. He was alive. It was strange that she was feeling this way, yet she felt slightly betrayed. It was not that she had wanted Harry to die, of course it was not that, but she had made her final decision on the fact that she had not expected him to survive. A cold, thin smile hid behind her veil and Ginny realised she had been dumb in grief. That Harry Potter was the boy who lived. Of course he would survive.

In hindsight her decision could have been rash, however she knew without a shadow of doubt that she would have not been able to go back, even with Harry alive. The grief that lay in her chest was wedged in her heart like a glacier. Every breath that she breathed felt wrong, stolen, undeserving. Ginny knew that unless she was the one to kill Alecto and Amycus Carrow, she would never be able to live with herself. Live the life that Fred had given his life for. How then was she to go back home and tell her family this? She let a humourless smile tug at her lips. No, they would rather send her to a private ward in St Mungos for such thoughts and feelings than to ever accept her desires and goals. She was better of dead to them all. A burden they did not have to bear, as it was her own demons that needed conquering.

Then, as if drawn to her by Ginny's intense stare, he looked up directly at her. Ginny's icy demeanour seemed to falter, threatening to melt around her. Her leg actually jerked as one foot made to move involuntarily towards him. She wanted to be with him, sit next to him, comfort and love him. Harry frowned at her and she looked at his face properly. He looked completely cold. Unmoved. She realised with a sinking feeling that he was detached too. Ginny could not understand why she was upset at the impassive look on his face when she had just commended herself for such behaviour.

The moment was lost when it was time to lower the coffins into the earth. He stood up, reluctantly looking away from her and raised his wand with the others. Ginny turned then, feeling a little hysterical at attending her own funeral and walked away from the proceedings.

When she was sure that everyone had left, then only did she walk over to Fred's grave. Picking up a clump of damp soil in her hand Ginny placed it atop his burial place. She dusted her hands on her black skirt and kissed her fingers before touching them to her brother's name on his headstone. _'Even death, you faced with a smile on your face and a laugh in your heart.'_

That was when Ginny finally _felt_. Remembering the smile on Fred's dead face ripped at her chest with a ferocity that made her feel cold, empty … heartless. And she realised then that she had only been denying herself from experiencing the heart wrenching pain that came from knowing her brother had died for her. She mourned for him, for the family she had to leave behind. For having to give up Harry. Because she knew it was too late to go back now.

That was when she felt a strong hand on her shoulder. Her heart jumped and fear had her rooted to her spot, kneeling uncaring on the grass. She had used magic, because during a war no one was really worrying about a little underage magic, to find a Muggle house to dwell in. One that was uninhabited by people who had gone on vacations. A little trick she picked up from the resourceful Professor Slughorn. After which she simply allowed herself some reprieve because she had three more moths until she was of age.

Remembering her distinguishable hair was tucked neatly back in her big, black hat and a veil covered her face Ginny carefully turned her head to look at the hand on her shoulder. Trailing the pale fingers and dark sleeve of expensive robes she was stunned to see a tall Draco Malfoy looming over her. Ginny shot up in angry indignation. How dare he show up at her brother's grave when all her family was gone? Standing there in his immaculate dress robes, towering over her kneeling form. She was unaware that Draco had attended the funeral because secretly he had always liked the twins, they had made him laugh. He was there because he had to say his last goodbyes to an annoying little chit who had managed to wheedle her way into some cold dungeon of his being by talking his ears off, insulting him and questioning everything he believed in. Stripping him from the beliefs he had always clothed himself in until he felt like the naked Emperor. Bare, more exposed lost and confused than he had already felt.

Ginny could not control the furious emotions that sang in her blood, making her face flush red. Memories of their last encounter poisoning her mind against him. She saw him frown at her and she grew angrier at him, fists clenched at her sides.

"I apologise. It's just that this flew away from you." Ginny felt her anger ebb away slowly when he handed her a tiny hankie she had used to wipe away her tears just now. All the while her mind whirring at the sound of an apology from Draco Malfoy. Even though it was simply polite manners, appearance and not even meaningful in the least, she hadn't realised how badly she had wanted him to utter those words to her before. Ginny's eyes went back to the hanky he held out to her. She must have released it while kneeling here and it flew away from her. Then she wondered what he was doing here when he hated the Weasleys. Hated her.

They stood staring at each other for a while before Ginny noticed a single flower in his hand.

"_Disgusting, Weasley. Have you never heard of bathing before?" He drawled in that condescending, uppity voice of his that she had somehow become used to. _

_Ginny rolled her eyes at him. "Alecto made me clean a sty today since I disagreed that Muggles were like pigs."_

"_And you came up here like that without attempting to do a simple cleaning spell, proving that you're like a Muggle pig?"_

"_Shut it, Malfoy. I can hardly smell like roses all the time." She did not want to tell him that she had ran straight to the Astronomy Tower because she had worried that she'd miss him for the third night in a row. That she had wanted to see him and talk to him because he understood her in a way that even Neville and Luna failed to these days. _

"_Surely something not so tamed as roses. I'd venture wildflowers." _

_Ginny looked up at Draco in surprise, astonished that he thought she did smell like flowers at all. She could tell his candidness had shocked even him for he rolled back his right shoulder and tilted his head to the left slightly. Something he always did when uncomfortable. As if he was making sure no one else had heard him. _

_She bit her lip, unable to come up with a retort to his words. Normally she would reply with something cutting and witty and Draco would do his best to sound scathing when it was his turn in their verbal sparring matches. Only his words never held any malice to them and Ginny would sometimes laugh at him. Much to his chagrin. She watched, her tongue still glued to the roof of her mouth as she watched him stand up from leaning against the tower pillar. _

"_Water will help you rid yourself of that awful stench little Weasel. Surely even someone as poor as you know what water is."_

_Ginny rolled her eyes at him. Whenever Draco confided in her he always followed up with an insult about her or her family. It was becoming really old now. So old it felt like nothing but water of a duck's back. Ginny grinned. "I missed you too, Malfoy." She never watched his steps falter behind her because she had already turned around to look at the night sky._

Her eyes shot to her grave, next to Fred's and suddenly it dawned on her why exactly Draco was there. He was bringing a single flower to _her_ grave. A wildflower. Its crimson petals gorgeous against the sunlight, black seeds in its centre held against large, unruly looking leaves beneath a long, rough green stem. Draco Malfoy who had shrugged at her pain and tears, who had laughed at her bravery and told her he would never choose a side was at her grave. Suddenly their last encounter was rewinding in Ginny's mind and she saw someone else. A Draco Malfoy who had healed her when she had been at her weakest, who had listened to her never ending babble when trying to hide her pain or sat with her in a comfortable silence until the next morning. Her eyes shot to his and she could tell … he knew.

He knew.

* * *

_**Present Day – 2001**_

The night air lashed around her like a terrorizing hurricane. It was storming and she was caught in the rain. No place to go. No one to hold onto. Her tiny body shivered in the cold rain and her fingers were already pruning from hours in the steady downpour from the heavens. Spluttering out water from her brrr-ing lips Ginny pulled the hood of her soaked robes closer around her head.

Just then she heard the crunching of twigs behind her and Ginny whipped around. The forest she was hiding in was haunting and pitch black at night. Hiding many enemies to fear in its thick wildlife. She searched for her wand but could not find it in her robe pockets. Looking down at her drenched clothing Ginny tried desperately to find her wand. Her only weapon.

"No."

She muttered in desperation as fear started to shut down all her senses. Before she could remember to run, hide, a gust of wind blew back her hood and a hand pulled at her hair from behind her. Ginny was bent backwards, hissing from pain. That was when Alecto whispered into her ear.

"Found you at last." Alecto said in that nasally voice that made her so despicable. "No one here to save you." Alecto cackled in unrestrained glee. "Who could ever love you?"

Just then Tom Riddle was laughing that high pitched, cold sound only he could make. He was handsome and charming as she remembered him. He was mocking her again, reminding her that no one loved her. That those were her words, not his. Reminding her of the feelings she had written into his diary all those years ago, words from her very soul. The truth, he said and Ginny felt small and inconsequential again.

Then his youthful face was gone, replaced by brittle, lizard like skin and blood red eyes. He inhaled her scent through those slits of his and his snake like face broke into evil excitement. He stepped away from her and lifted his hands up. They weren't empty though. Fred was there, struggling against Voldemort.

"Will you give your life for him Ginny, Like he did you?" Voldemort asked almost sweetly.

"Yes. Yes I will."

"Liar." This time it wasn't Voldemort who spoke. It was Fred. Only his voice was cold and distant. His warm hazel eyes icy as it glared at her in accusatory hatred.

"No Fred, I'm not lying. I'd never …"

Ginny tried to move out of Alecto's hold but the cow placed a dagger against her neck, hindering her forceful jerks as the cold blade threatened to cut into her. Before Ginny could even blink she felt Alecto raise the dagger high into the air before bringing it down to slice at her neck with one sinful slash. Blood gushed from her neck as she choked on it. Fingers reached for her throat as she fell forwards, eyes rolling to the back of her head.

Ginny awoke with a start. A scream ripped from her mouth as she shot up from bed, her chest heaving for air. Her door slammed open and she grabbed her wand from her bedside table instinctually. Light from the hallway illuminated her bed like spotlight would and Draco stood with his hand still on the handle, his own wand out.

Ginny lowered her wand as her other hand went to her chest as if trying to calm her racing heart. Closing her eyes she took deep, steadying breaths and told herself it was only a dream. She opened her eyes again when she heard Draco closing the door of her room as he lit her lamps with his wand. A quick sweep of the bedroom and one look at her and he knew that she had had a nightmare.

Draco had sufficient experience with Ginny's nightmares before. He had spent a year trying to calm her down while she went through stages of grief, guilt, anger, depression, anxiety and withdrawal. It had been two years though since she had last had a nightmare that made her awake screaming. And he knew why. Bloody Potter. Seeing him today, being in such close proximity to him made Ginny vulnerable.

Ginny waited as Draco approached her. He handed her a glass of water and went over to open her French windows. He knew she liked to have the cool night air enter her room when she awoke from a nightmare. He stood to stare outside, leaning against her door's ledge. Ginny drank the water thankfully before setting down the goblet. She took in a deep breath and fell back on the fluffy pillows on her four poster bed. She then turned to watch Draco.

He never offered her words of comfort or came to hold her and hug her now. His comfort was simply to be there for her. This was their routine. Not that he hadn't held her before. There were times when she had been almost suicidal. Falling apart and he was the only one willing to pick up the pieces. He hadn't done it with love or even affection. He'd accepted it because he needed her. They needed each other and the Force had not been the only reason.

"It wasn't because of him you know." Ginny said softly and she saw his shoulders stiffen at her words. Ginny sighed.

Draco and her may have formed some sort of odd bond that had led to them becoming close friends, but that did not mean it extended to Harry of even her family. Draco still disliked Harry and probably always would. She suspected it worsened when Harry had saved him from a life in Azkaban, offering Narcissa and him the Chosen One's protection. Then Harry let Lucius go to Azkaban. Ginny would never deny that she was glad Lucius Malfoy was in Azkaban but she had seen what it had done to Draco and Narcissa. While she didn't really give a rat's arse about Narcissa Malfoy, Ginny cared about Draco. What was it that Hermione had said to her when explaining her friendship with Harry and Ron. _'There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other ...'_

"It was that cow Daphne." Ginny's lips curled downwards.

At this Draco turned to look at her and Ginny self consciously touched the ends of her hair. During a duelling session Daphne Greengrass had caught Ginny by the back of her hair and used a cutting spell to snare of her long hair. Ginny had used scissors to try and shape it neatly afterwards, just until she managed to get her hands on a hair growth potion. Although she still felt incredibly uncomfortable with the short length as it dredged up some horrid memories of her time at Hogwarts.

Draco frowned at her, knowing exactly what she meant but came forward silently and sat on the chair that was always near her bed, not intending to remind her of her past anymore than she already did. His chair. He used to sit upon it for entire nights during her first year here. He may still be a selfish, annoying git at times but she knew better now. Behind all that disdain, anger and jealousy, he was still just a human being. An alright one. It just took a person who could look beyond his initial pride, sarcasm and snobbery to find it. Ginny snorted at this. _'So maybe he was just a plain ole prat. But he was her friend and he had been there for her.'_

"What are you snorting at you uncouth woman?" He finally asked. His voice now deep and rich.

"I'm thinking about your annoying habits, Malfoy. And how endearing they are."

Ginny lifted her head to peek up at him and grinned, his pale cheeks were lightly pink and she sat up now to look at him smugly. He crossed his arms and glowered at her. "I wish I could say the same about you. After all this time you are still an annoying brat who loves to whine and thinks she's hilarious."

Ginny mock pouted before she smiled at him. This was their game. They insulted each other, bickering and bantering like two twelve year olds but there were never any malice or hurtfulness in their words. "Anyway, I want you to reiterate some of our sparring rules. Daphne seems to have forgotten them."

Draco smirked at this. "She just doesn't fancy you that much, Rage."

Ginny bit back a smile at his nickname for her because she wanted to glare at him over his nonchalance at Daphne's attitude. They all had colour coded names for missions, it was simple to remember. After all they were all about simplicity and efficiency, the Force. And even though they all didn't see eye to eye at times, they were a family. Well, a strange dysfunctional family but one nonetheless. They all were bound together by the same goal.

Draco however refused to call her Ginny. As if the name left a bitter after taste in his mouth. He also thought that Weasley or Weasel was a term best reserved for Ron and sometimes the rest of her family. So it was only because he actually considered her more a part of him than her family did Ginny accept his name for her. Shaking her head slightly at her wayward thoughts Ginny looked at Draco, still fingering the short hair sitting on her neck. She was unused to it being that length.

"You are buying me a hair growth potion tomorrow." Ginny told him demandingly. "And the next time I won't be so courteous with Daphne. Let's see how she likes it when I cut off that annoyingly blonde hair of hers."

Draco raised an eyebrow at her. "For someone who uses blonde as a regular disguise you sure do hate the colour much."

Ginny rolled her eyes. "Well every blonde I know is an absolute arse." Ginny looked pointedly at Draco's hair and he glared at her, causing her to laugh slightly.

"You're hair looks fine like that." He shrugged easily.

Ginny tilted her head to the side as she considered this. Draco rarely ever said anything he didn't mean. He never commented on her looks. In fact, she had never really heard him commenting on women before. She knew he wasn't gay, she just wondered why he wasn't like Ren, Troy or Blaise. He never really expressed his opinion on witches and seemed to always give noncommittal shrugs when asked his opinion by one of the other Force wizards. However she had seen him eye woman with interest before. Ginny just expected he had more important things on his mind now.

She felt the same. There were more significant things going on in her life than searching for relationships. Besides, she knew there was no one out there who would ever make her feel the way that Harry did. Ginny's fingers stilled in her hair as her mind glazed over.

_He rushed into the Room of Requirement like the hounds of hell were after him. They most likely were, Ginny thought. His clothes were dirty, blood streaking some of it and she wondered why it was he was lays covered in blood. He stopped awkwardly as the room closed behind him and Ginny halted her endless pacing._

"_Harry." She croaked past her suddenly dry throat._

"_Ginny." He said in that raspy voice of his and without thinking she ran towards him. _

_His arms opened before she reached him and she launched herself into his embrace. He had grown taller since last year. His body was a little wider in girth and hardened in some places. She did not pay much attention to that however as she hugged him fiercely. Her fingers in his hair digging into his skull as his arms crushed her tiny waist, melding her petite frame spectacularly to his. There was no space left between them. He breathed in the smell of her hair and she smiled. _

"_Merlin, I missed you." He whispered and Ginny felt tears building in her eyes. _

"_You smell awful, Harry." She scrunched up her nose behind him and he laughed. The soft rumble reverberating into her like happiness. She chuckled and sniffled a little, unable to stop a few rogue tears from wetting her cheeks. She quickly lifted her hands to brush them aside as he moved back to look at her. _

_Harry lifted a hand to cup her face and she leaned into his calloused touch. She didn't care that his palm was dirty or that he was fighting a battle and had told her to stay in the room of requirement when she had been arguing with her mother. He was there, and that's all that mattered then. _

_Harry trailed his hand up into her hair and tangled his fingers in her thick tresses, drawing his fingers down the length of her red hair. Ginny closed her eyes, enjoying the endearment that had become a loving gesture for Harry ever since they had started dating. She sighed. For one brilliant moment she was happy, back to the days when Harry and her were together. Before Dumbledore's death had come crashing down on them. Ginny opened her eyes to see his gaze still trained on her hair. Harry seemed to always have a fascination with her hair. He pushed the locks of her mane behind her shoulder and was about to lean in and kiss that sensitive spot on her neck as he always did. Ginny tilted her head to give him better access. His warm breath on her neck made her shiver in anticipation. _

_Then his hand gripped into her shoulder painfully and Ginny watched as his dark head jerked back up. "What the hell is this?" _

_Ginny frowned as she looked down. Her face paled immediately. Her top had fallen off her shoulders slightly when she had been hugging him for dear life. The hair that had been covering the words Alecto Carrow had so crudely carved beneath her collar bone was now pushed behind her shoulder. _

"_It's nothing." Ginny said as she took a step away from Harry, pulling her top up higher and bringing her long hair forward again. _

_She felt slightly uncomfortable at Harry's thunderous glare which was odd since she had been naked before him before. She felt tainted, ugly. Yet the anger on his face mixed with the pale look of his skin and his clenched fists had her feeling uncomfortable. As if he was silently accusing her of something. _

"_Who?" He gritted out. When Ginny made to protest he demanded a bit more harshly. "Who?" _

_Ginny went towards Harry, flinging her arms around his neck again, moulding her body to his. He was tense for a moment, his body unyielding and Ginny held onto him tighter. "Now's not the time to worry about this Harry." She whispered in his ear. "Win this war and we'll all be free." _

_She felt him shudder at her breath on his earlobe and she placed a soft kiss there. His arms wrapped around her then. Crushing her to him. Ginny did not mind though, she revelled in it. Harry pulled her hands from around his shoulders, trailing his palms up her arms and before she could blink he kissed her. His hands lifted her face to his as his mouth descended upon hers with a passion he had never showed her before. _

_Ginny moaned beneath him as her nails dug into his wrists, his hands holding her face still as his mouth angled over hers. His tongue harsh and demanding her submission to him in a way that was familiar yet new. This was passion and emotion, showing her how much he had missed her. She reciprocated, placing her yearning nights and days into his mouth as well. _

_There was no one else in the world but them then. Screw the war that was raging on outside the room of requirement or the Horcrux that needed still to be found. Damn Voldemort and every other Death Eater and friend or family out there fighting. This was important too. This was two young beings who were kissing in love for the first time, none realising it, simply breathing in how important it felt. This was the breath of their lives. Love. And only distance and absence could bring such feelings home._

_Just then a loud clearing of the throat could be heard. Harry and Ginny looked up, too dazed to jump apart or probably unwilling to move from the warmth of their embrace. Tonks stood before them, obviously having just arrived from the Hogshead, arms folded across her chest and one foot tapping impatiently on the floor. But her face was knowing and smug. _

_She raised her eyebrows as Harry and Ginny finally broke apart, blushing furiously and offering stuttered err's and mmm's. Tonks laughed before she came forward to hug them both. "Well at least I know …"_

"You're thinking about him again, aren't you?" Draco's deep voice jolted Ginny into the present.

She looked at him in confusion for a moment before she shook her head stiffly. Harry's reaction to the mark on her shoulder had been different from Draco's. Before their fight Draco had looked shocked at the words engraved on her flesh, he had looked disgusted and pale. As if it hadn't belonged on her body. Ginny absentmindedly traced the scars spelling the words_ 'Blood Traitor'_ beneath her collar bone.

"I was thinking about my hair." Harry always liked her hair long and so had she.

He snorted and Ginny watched as he stood again, waving his wand around her room. "You're eyes tend to glaze over when you're thinking about him. Your cheeks go red but your mouth is always, always down turned."

Ginny frowned as she thought about this. Of course she missed Harry and her family. In the beginning it had been easy to use her anger and pain to block that out. She had been in remission herself, denying and fighting her own demons that it left her no time to mourn for her own heart. Then as time went on and she became better, she yearned for her family again.

But she would never go back. Her guilt was still like a boulder upon her shoulders. She was going to bare her brunt on her own. Something that she would have never been able to do if she had gone home. Ginny knew she would never have been able to live with herself if she had not done this and she would never have been afforded the opportunity to do this if she had gone home. Her mother, Harry, Ron … they would have asked her to put her faith in an unfair justice system.

And she was not completely alone now. She had Draco and he was enough. Ginny heard the soft click of her door closing and sunk back down on her bed with a heavy sigh. Draco would never like Harry; he possibly would always loathe the man she loved. Therefore she had become habituated to his irritation over Harry. Even Ron. Now however he preferred to ignore their existence instead of using them as the punch lines of all his jokes. He had grown up yes, but he would never grow to like any of them. She would never ask him to either.

Draco had always been someone who had lived like an echo of his father. He was a Malfoy and lived by their unwritten laws. Hate mudbloods, halfbloods and Weasleys. Don't sully your name by associating with any of them. And Draco had done so. Until those laws had become, support a halfblood sadist in rape, torture and killing for no other reason than their birthright. That was when Draco had finally realised that his father was _wrong_. Because Draco could never, would never do those things.

Then Lucius fell from grace. Not only in the wizarding world but in Draco's eyes too. Ginny did not fool herself however. She knew very well why Draco was doing what he was doing. The Force – a name Ginny had picked stood for Fred a human force in his own right, unbeknown to the others who just thought it was an impressive name for their group of mishaps – was for his father as much as it was for himself. There were no secrets between them. She appreciated that about Draco.

Harry had left her out of the loop for a lot of important things before. While she had accepted it because she had loved him; it was nice to have someone who didn't hold anything back from you. Yes, Draco's honesty was blunt, he would never sugar coat anything for her but she didn't mind that. She wanted the cold hard truth. She could take it and Draco never doubted that about her. He never underestimated her or tried to shield her from life. However he still protected her.

Ginny gave a sad smile as she thought about the day he had saved her. It had been the first time they had failed a mission. Draco though had put her life beyond their ultimate goal. He could have easily sacrificed her, but he hadn't. And she wondered then, that had it been anyone else, would they have sacrificed her for the greater good.

Draco was good at what he did. Shrewd, cunning, intelligent and no matter how much he liked to deny it, they were friends. No matter how much he said he disliked her, she knew from all his thoughtfulness and support towards her, that he considered her a friend too.

* * *

Harry knew that this would not be a pleasant visit at first. That he would have to reign in his temper and prove he could be … well more like his old self. He rolled his eyes at that; just because he did not easily cave into everything everyone said he wondered why he was suddenly a bad wizard. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him now.

Taking in a deep breath and running his fingers through his hair he adjusted his robes and knocked on the door. She opened the door easily, knowing that her wards would not permit anyone unsavoury to her front door. In all honesty Harry was surprised that she had not yet left him out of her charms. Her face however was not welcoming.

Not for the first time did Andromeda Tonks' resemblance to her sister render Harry a little tinge of discomfort. Only this time it was worse. Andromeda did not open the door wide enough to give him a glimpse of the inside of her home. Neither did she invite him in or even seem the least bit pleased to see him. This time her eyes lacked the minimal warmth they had once held for him and she looked too much like Bellatrix in that moment. He did not blame her, he accepted he had been wrong and needed to make amends.

After all, telling her she was a cold, lonely old woman who was trying to hold onto her grandson in an unhealthy fashion was probably not the best thing he could have ever insulted the proud woman with. Especially since she was, by blood a Black and marriage did not remove the blood from her veins. More so however, Harry regretted telling her that she could keep her grandson because he had no intention of ever taking care of the wailing brat. No matter how drunk and bitter he had been then, it had been uncalled for. She had had every reason not to trust Teddy alone with Harry at the time.

In retrospect he really had not wanted to take care of Teddy Lupin. He was ashamed that he had felt too guilty and depressed to want to be there for his Godson. He had, in blatant relief, given up his responsibility because he had feared then he would never be good enough for the innocent little boy. At the time who knew the extent of the darkness living inside of him. He had been struggling to control himself, how was he expected to care for a dependable babe. If he had failed, he did not want to harm Teddy or watch as the boy grew to hate him one day. Also because it was something he should have been doing with Ginny.

Sighing Harry knew that now was not the time to dwell on his past. He had had years in which to come to terms with his new life. The time for blame, anger and denial had long since passed. He was ready to be there for his Godson now. Not just financially. Andromeda did not acknowledge him and Harry could tell she would make this as difficult as she possibly could for him.

"How are you, Mrs Tonks?" Harry tried cordial and respective as he watched a neatly shaped eyebrow arch at his tone. Still she remained silent. "Look," Harry began, "I don't expect you to want to talk to me, let me in or even want to allow me anywhere near Teddy. But you do have to remember that legally I am his Godfather."

"How dare you?" She hissed at him and Harry did all he could to stay silent. "You turn up here after three years and just expect me to open my door to you Mr Potter. I dare say you are more foolish than I first believed. Teddy is not some toy you may choose to play with whenever it suits you." She blurted in a fashion that was very unlike the cool and collected Andromeda Harry knew. She must have wanted to say that to him for a long time. Harry suspected that there were a great many people who most likely had several things they wanted to say to him. He would also bet that he deserved every last one of them.

"You have substantial reason to show concern over my – "

"Concern?" Andromeda glared fiercely. "I do not want you near my grandson. You are unstable, irrational and a hazard to – "

"Enough." Harry could quite well bear a lot of criticism on his part but he was not going to waste his time on Andromeda's doorstep trying to argue with her. He had been all those things that she had called him out on. He had done some things he was not proud of. He did not expect everyone to stand by him but he would not let anyone stand in the way of what he wanted now either.

Especially if he had the sense of mind to know that he was not putting anyone around him in danger. That he was finally doing what was right. He could only make her understand that by showing her that he was no longer the same. He could speak until he was blue in the face and it would make no difference to her. Therefore he needed a more direct approach. It was a risk he had to take, even if he were proving Andromeda right in some ways.

"Mrs Tonks, I will remind you that as Teddy's legal guardian I have rights that you can not ignore. If you do, I will not hesitate to take this matter to the DMLE. As you know, I do not think there is anyone in the Ministry who would think twice of restricting me or revoking my rights." His voice was calm and easy yet he left no doubt as to what he was implying. He would use his name to get access to Teddy if she continued to be oppose his efforts directed through her.

Harry saw that Andromeda was listening now, mentally weighing her options carefully before she made any responses. She was after all a very smart woman. "I do not wish to barge in on you and impose on your kindness. However, I suspect we could make arrangements as sensible adults that would be accommodating to us both. After all, this is all about Teddy's best interests. I am willing to have supervised visits until you feel otherwise if it would make you feel better."

Harry could see Andromeda was thinking carefully on all that he had said. He would not blame her if she did slam the door in his face but he knew after the seconds ticked by that she would not do so. She did want him to be a part of Teddy's life because she had told him so. Because he was the only one left who could tell Teddy about Remus, the one person in Teddy's life who would be able to understand what it was like to live without parents.

Andromeda narrowed her dark brown eyes at him. "I have enough wealth, respect and influence on the Wizengamot as well, Mr Potter." Harry was impressed with her fight but he knew that she was aware he would come out on top, regardless of her high standing in society. Harry did however get the gist of her message. He watched as she stepped back and opened her door wider for him. _'I will give you a chance but if you do anything that will harm Teddy, I will fight you.'_ She need not say those exact words, or anything to that effect but he received the message loud and clear.

"Thank you." Harry bowed his head slightly showing that he understood her unmistakably and expected nothing less. For a moment he thought he saw something close to relief in her eyes before she turned to close the door behind them.

Andromeda led him to her cosy lounge where Teddy's play pen currently stood. The sight of the toddler playing there made Harry's throat constrict with regret. Teddy Lupin looked so much like Remus. Even with that heart shaped face of Tonks and bright blue hair, he resembled his father uncannily. Andromeda scooped him up from the play area and brought him over to Harry.

Harry felt something like fear and uncertainty bloom inside his chest but he took in a deep breath to push it aside.

"Teddy, darling this is Harry Potter. Your Godfather."

Teddy studied Harry for a moment, tilting his head a little to the side that made Harry think of Ginny. She had promised to be there with him in that moment. He remembered it as if it had been yesterday.

"Fa'er." The three year old asked, snapping Harry from his thoughts and making Andromeda look at Teddy with a startled expression that turned into pain. She looked utterly lost for words.

"No Teddy, Godfather." Harry said, reaching for the boy and sparing Andromeda from having to answer. Harry wondered now what she had told the little boy about his parents. Andromeda seemed like the type of person who would always tell you the truth, no matter how hurtful it could be. Then again, he really did not know her that well. "But you can call me Harry."

"Hawwy." The boy accepted with a small nod before extending his chubby arms to Harry.

Harry was a little stunned at the innocence Teddy beheld. His tiny self so alert, observant and obviously intelligent but completely trusting too. There was no hatred or fear in his bright blue eyes and Harry knew he had much time to make up for.

Harry hadn't realised he had been holding his breath until Teddy settled easily in his arms which were wrapped around the toddlers bottom. Teddy leaned back to stare at Harry. The child poked at his glasses and inspected his cheeks and Harry felt something so beautiful burst inside of his chest. It was inexplicable, new yet wholly wonderful. Teddy tugged at some of Harry's messy hair and soon the boy's hair was a pitch black too. Harry swallowed past the thickness of his throat, cursing himself for taking so long to come to his senses. Thinking he had been right when he had first questioned if he would be as reckless a Godfather as Sirius had been.

"He likes you obviously." Andromeda observed dryly and Harry turned to look at her. At the wide eyed look he could do noting to mask she gave him a miniscule smile. It was something though. Then it was gone, her face hardened and she looked at him sternly. "See that it remains that way."

Harry could only nod at her searching gaze because as he held the little boy in his arms he knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt Teddy. Ever. Andromeda returned his nod and motioned towards a settee before leaving the lounge.

Then only did Harry vow to not be as reckless as Sirius or insecure as Remus had been. Promising himself that Teddy would never turn out like him.

* * *

_Just then a loud clearing of the throat could be heard. Harry and Ginny looked up, too dazed to jump apart or probably unwilling to move from the warmth of their embrace. Tonks stood before them, obviously having just arrived from the Hogshead, arms folded across her chest and one foot tapping impatiently on the floor. But her face was knowing and smug. _

_She raised her eyebrows as Harry and Ginny finally broke apart, blushing furiously and offering stuttered err's and mmm's. Tonks laughed before she came forward to hug them both. "Well at least I know someone will be there to reason with Harry and Teddy if they get too mischievous."_

_Harry looked at Ginny then, remembering that he had just been made Teddy Lupin's Godfather not so very long ago. Some of his discomfort and insecurities obviously came through because Ginny reached for his hand and squeezed it. He wondered how she always knew how he was feeling and what to do to reassure him. Her silent looks that were so comforting and understanding, promising to always be there for him. Then she looked at Tonks. "Harry actually might be the one having to keep Teddy and I in check." _

_Ginny's mischievous grin was like the delicious taste of treacle tart, delicious and sweet in his mouth and he could not help but think of the kiss they had just shared. It was the best thing to coming home he had ever felt before, so warm, loving and familiar but different too. Harry thought about absence and the heart and he realised that for him, that was exactly how he felt about Ginny._

_Harry and Ginny looked at each other with a look that belonged to only the two of them and Tonks laughed at their expense. "Give it a rest you two, there's a war going on out there."_

_And just liked that the mood turned sombre and desperate again. Harry and Ginny immediately let go of each others hands and shifted uncomfortably next to one another. Tonks' clumsy effort at a joke only serving as a reminder that they had just been stealing precious moments from reality. Just then Harry remembered exactly why he had come into the room of requirement and it had nothing to do with snogging Ginny senseless._

"_Gin, I need to use the room. Please wait outside." Harry told her and he saw Ginny's face light up at his request. He felt uncertainty claw at his insides. He did need the room desperately though. _

_Just then Tonks spoke, her expression more fearful as she looked to each of them. "I came for Remus." She told them and Harry knew Remus would not be happy to see her. He wondered why their women never listened to them. Harry nodded at Tonks before he grabbed Ginny's hand quickly and they followed Tonks outside the room._

_Once outside an explosion rocked the castle walls and as Harry shielded Ginny he saw her eyes fill with anticipation. "No." He told her sternly when they were able to stand still again. She looked up at him with an irritated frown. _

"_Well, I can't just stand here now, can I." Ginny told him half defiantly, half reasonably before she looked towards Tonks who was watching them with impatience. "Tonks is an Auror Harry, I'll be fine with her." Again Harry shook his head._

"_No, I want you to stay here. As soon as I'm done you can go back inside." He had not meant to sound so stern or dominant yet he did not want anything to happen to her. He did not want her here at all now. She paralysed him with a fear too great to think past, let alone move from. _

_Ginny was stubborn though and he just made her more rebellious by telling her what to do. She pulled her hand roughly from his. Fortunately Tonks saved him from whatever harsh words were on the tip of Ginny's tongue._

"_Listen, you need the room Harry. Ginny will be fine with me. I just have to find Remus but we will bring her back here or I'll make sure she's with one of the boys who'll definitely bring her back up."_

_Harry clenched his jaw, not really liking where this was going, especially as the castle shook from explosions. Anything could happen to her. Just then however Ron and Hermione showed up next to him. Ginny seeing her opportunity grabbed Tonks' hand and pulled the older witch away from them. _

Harry watched Teddy sleeping peacefully. He would never forget the half apologetic, half reassuring look Tonks had turned around to give him that night as she had left with Ginny. It was the last time he had seen either of them alive. In reality he had blamed Tonks for taking Ginny away from him that night even though Ginny had been the one pulling Tonks away. If Ginny had stayed outside until he came back … but the room of requirement had been damaged anyway.

Harry took in a deep breath. A headache was forming at his memories, as usual and he massaged his temples. It had not been anyone's fault. Even though he did not entirely believe that. Harry felt like it was his entire fault. Looking down at Teddy, Harry thought that his Godson would never have to live in a world like he had. Teddy would never have to blame himself for another death in that long string that remained in Harry's conscience.

* * *

**Author's Note:**** Thoughts and constructive criticism is appreciated. "FLAMES" are NOT! This is "FAN"- "FICTION". If you do not like MY stories I trust you should be mature enough to simply not read them. How difficult can that concept be?! Do not bother reading my long chapters and rambling author's notes only to tear "MY" work apart and call me names. That is disrespectful, petty and low and will not be tolerated.**

**Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Five**_

**DRACO **watched her reach for a file on the top shelf of their work room. Renegade Archibald sat at the Force's long work bench, tossing an apple in the air lazily as he openly admired Ginny's bottom and the bare midriff exposed from the lifting of her top.

Draco raised one pale eyebrow at Ren and the other wizard shrugged with a sheepish smile. Draco narrowed his eyes at the blonde wizard before walking over to Ginny. He reached easily with one long arm for the file her petite frame couldn't quite reach. She stopped standing on her toes and turned to look up at him. A small smile on her full pink lips for him.

She never noticed that his pointy face had filled out with age into sharp planes and angles that now accentuated his features, making him good looking rather than skeletal. "You're aware that you are a witch, aren't you?"

Ginny rolled her eyes at him and took the file from his hands before stepping out from being caged between the shelf and his broad chest. "Thank you." She said as she took the file from his outstretched hand and moved over to stand by the table. She stood over the numerous files opened before her while Draco looked over her shoulder. "I'm not lazy Draco; I can turn around to reach for a file instead of summoning it. It wasn't across the room or anything." She bit her lip as she scribbled something down from one file onto another piece of parchment.

"Plus _I_ get a good view in." Ren added with that boyish grin of his and Draco growled at him. Immediately Ren shrugged apologetically and took the files he had been working on. "Right. I'll work with these and let you know what I come up with, Ginny."

Ginny nodded busily and waved her hand at the door. "Thanks, Ren." When Ginny worked she tended to focus solely on her tasks and could not be distracted easily. Even though she was aware of everything that went on around her.

"Are the plans ready yet?" Draco asked.

She nodded again, scribbling notes on another piece of parchment before she set her quill down and turned to look at him. Rubbing her fingers in her scalp and then through her hair. Something she always did after a day of hard work. "We have to transport the lot we have in the dungeon first. No one likes keeping that many Death Eaters together at once."

Draco leaned back against the shelves, arms crossed over his chest as he studied her. "There are only ten of them here at the moment."

Ginny sighed. "That's ten too many. I don't like it."

They couldn't always keep the Death Eaters they caught in the dungeons for long periods of time. It was a risk that they couldn't afford. That was why they had Troy Harris working at the Ministry of Magic in England. He ensured that no references of England's notorious Death Eaters were reported by the wizard prison Des'carcera. Draco paid a high ranking French Ministry worker to ensure that no reports of the Death Eaters captured ever reached the English Ministry. Of course if there was ever such a leak or error Troy was head of the Department of International Magical Cooperation to intercept such follies. Kinglsley Shakelbolt liked to think he was revolutionising the English Ministry but in his fear to end Voldemort's reign quickly he was simply playing similar games of Fudge's rule. That made it all too easy for the Force to exploit.

"I'll contact Le'Spion and inform her that we have ten more on the way." Draco said as he pushed off the shelf he had been standing against.

Ginny nodded as she looked up at him. "It's good to have someone who's tall on hand."

He smirked at the ambiguity of her words; some part of him still enjoyed recognition of his superiority. Draco looked at her for a long moment, his steel grey eyes taking in her long hair pushed behind her ears and shoulders before he looked straight into her eyes. Ginny tilted her head to the side slightly. "Are you sure you're up for this?"

Ginny sighed. "Yes. If the Aurors actually do show up then I'll just work in a different range from Harry."

Draco nodded vaguely but he did not look convinced. He knew that Potter must have the same information that they had. The Aurors had managed to capture a crafty, high ranking Death Eater. Although were the Ministry had rules to follow, clearances to make, teams to form, the Force could work at any given moment. Although Draco knew the workings of Potter's mind too. For all his ignorance Potter was not an idiot. If he were Potter he'd infiltrate the base sooner.

"I wasn't just talking about him. If Alecto is at the base I don't want you to do something rash until she's captured and brought back here."

Ginny looked down. She was not sure she could make such a promise. She had had years of anger and fury to harbour for Alecto and she wanted to catch the cow so badly. It was something that kept her alive. Something that excited her because if they caught Alecto Carrow then she would lead them to Amycus Carrow – if according to their source Amycus really wasn't near his sister at the moment.

Draco noticed the hesitation that Ginny gave and groaned loudly. He lifted her chin in his long fingers so she could look him directly in the eye. He wanted her to promise and she was unsure if she could. Ginny was saved from doing so however as a loud clearing of the throat had Draco stepping away from her casually. Ginny turned around to see Narcissa Malfoy standing primly at the now open door, an impassive look on her slender features. Daphne Greengrass stood cross armed behind Narcissa her icy blue eyes glaring daggers at Ginny.

"Mother." Draco said stiffly as Ginny quickly moved her wand around so that plans, maps, archive files, scrolls of parchments, quills and ink bottles all flew into their proper spaces.

Ginny did not acknowledge Narcissa immediately so she could give herself some time to don her own mask of impassivity on. When Draco had first brought her here Narcissa had not been shy in expressing her utter contempt at the idea. Ginny had been called all sorts of names that she refused to dwell on three years in the future, so she did not bother to let her mind dredge them up again. Although when Ginny was not prepared for Narcissa's surprise visits – which meant when she could not lock herself in her room of training area before – Ginny needed time to compose herself first. Some of the things Narcissa had said left their own scars on her. Ginny suspected that the older witch could make even a stone cry. After Draco and Narcissa had been cleared of all charges Draco had asked his mother to leave and Narcissa had went back to Malfoy Manor. There were many things that made Ginny grateful to Draco for, none of them were more meaningful than his standing up to his mother for her.

"Draco." Narcissa's cold voice spoke and Ginny turned to look at Draco. She would never forget the first time Narcissa had come here after she had returned to England. Narcissa had not been as poised and elegant as she was now. Her first visit with Lucius Malfoy in Azkaban had shaken her up terribly and she had sought out Draco's comfort. Ginny could only guess that even without Dementors guarding the wizard prison now, Azkaban was not a cheerful place. More so when you had to see your husband in such captivity. Ginny remembered that day clearly because it was the first time Draco had ever shown that amount of emotion before.

Under the table he had grabbed her hand and asked her silently to stay. When Narcissa had pleaded to speak to him alone Draco had refused. The older witch had broken down spectacularly and Ginny couldn't help but think that no matter how much you held yourself above everyone else your pain was felt the same. Narcissa had not looked as pretty as she did now with a red nose and tears falling from her ice blue eyes then. But Draco had stood up from Ginny and held his mother. The sight had broken her heart and even though she believed Lucius was were he belonged, Ginny felt pity for Draco and Narcissa.

He had held her like that so many times before and Ginny was amazed to see the gentleness the arrogant arse that was Draco Malfoy had. That all those times he had silently, stoically comforted her he had done so with all of himself.

Draco looked at her and he nodded. Ginny picked up her wand and made to leave the room. "Mrs Malfoy." She inclined her head. No matter what Narcissa had said to her, the day she had witnessed Narcissa Malfoy was human just like herself was enough to for Ginny to be polite to the woman.

"Ginevra." Narcissa said courteously. And while Narcissa may never, ever like Ginny the older witch knew that Ginny had seen her at her weakest. The young girl had not mocked her or used it against her. Even when she had tried to bribe Ginny away from Draco. Therefore Narcissa held no contempt for the younger witch any longer. She held a begrudging acceptance for the girl who was loyal to Draco. Draco had never been afforded such unconditional faith before. However that did not make Narcissa happy to know that her son was fraternizing with blood traitors and half bloods now.

Ginny gave Draco a small, reassuring smile as she closed the door behind her. Daphne narrowed her eyes at her in the looming hallway. "Has Ren prepped you all for tonight?"

"Of course. See to it that you have no more _accidents_ this time. Even though we know how much you love when Draco fawns over you." Daphne spat.

Ginny turned around to glare at the other witch. Ginny knew that Astoria had a crush on Draco. The younger girl was almost as obvious as she had been with Harry. _'Alright, maybe not_ that _obvious.'_ Ginny thought. Astoria however was less annoying than Daphne. She may have been a Slytherin but the girl had been a little easier to persuade because of her young age. Astoria was also a little more sympathetic to others. Daphne on the other hand was not someone who made an effort to conceal her dislike for Ginny and she had no afflictions in being a frosty bitch about it either. This Greengrass sister was different. Then again, they all had their stories that brought them where they were, made them who they were and Ginny understood feelings of protectiveness over your siblings.

Rolling her eyes at Daphne, Ginny walked away with a swish of her red hair, letting the older witch know that she did not take orders from anyone.

* * *

"To what do I owe this pleasure mother?" Draco drawled politely as he kissed his mother on her proffered cheek. He pulled out a chair for her and she sat down neatly. Adjusting her robes while Draco sat beside her.

"Do not pretend that this is a social call, Draco. There are no house elves bringing me tea." Narcissa looked around pointedly.

"Unfortunately I have much to do tonight and simply can not take the time to entertain you long."

Narcissa sighed. "Fine, then I shall get straight to the point then. Leave this Draco. Stop it before it's too late or you hurt yourself. Come home and take over from your father. You don't have to do this."

Draco snorted. "Father is in Azkaban mother. Are you telling me that you are pleased with his current position?"

Contrary to popular belief, while Lucius Malfoy was a complete bastard, a Death Eater and even a murderer, his beliefs did not extend to his own family of course. Draco had lived a very pampered lifestyle until the year Voldemort had rose to power. Draco and Narcissa had loved Lucius unconditionally. One of the reasons they followed Lucius' wishes. For so long they too had agreed with Lucius' ideals. Until they had become disillusioned by those ideals and Voldemort had started to show just how much they meant. _'Not much, at all.'_ Draco thought bitterly. Draco had not visited his father in Azkaban, he had not spoken to his father at all after the war, regardless of how hard his father had tried to reach out to him. He had not even given in when Lucius had apologised – for the first time ever – and broken down, sincerely accepting all blame for their situation. Draco thought it wise to allow his father to stay in Azkaban with such a heavy, burdened heart. The man deserved no less.

"No, of course not but – " His mother still loved his father.

"But nothing mother. This is my repayment to you and father. Once that is done I plan to concentrate on my own future for a change. Something that doesn't involve bending to Father's will."

"This is as much punishment as it is repayment, Draco and you know it." Narcissa said sourly.

Draco shrugged. "Of course it is. Father will have to live with the knowledge that his son consorted with blood traitors and half bloods alike for his sake. But he's too weak to care about blood status and social standing now mother. He'll accept and then he'll try in vain to raise his name into prominence once again. He won't ever learn mother, neither will you. But I do not want to end up like father."

Narcissa sensing she was being beaten sat forward in her chair. "Tell me Draco, what makes you think you will succeed? Do you think the Ministry will just hand them over to you? What you are attempting is extortion son, not to mention the aiding and abetting of numerous wanted Death Eaters. All this hard work will amount to nothing."

"I am not foolish to waste my time investing in something that will fall through mother. Father did teach me well enough. As did aunt Bellatrix." He felt small triumph at seeing his mother flinch at the mention of her sister. Draco knew his mother was thinking of the times she had had no choice but to allow her only son to _learn_ from her deranged sister. He would always use that against his mother.

"Yes, Draco. Insurance packages can be very handy I understand. Though I think you've set too much store by her name being attached to yours. Three years is along time, from what I hear Potter is doing just fine without her."

"She is not an insurance package mother." Draco gritted his teeth. He refused to tell his mother that his initial plans had changed. That at first he was willingly going to use Ginny to change Potter's mind. Now he was not so certain of his plans. After all, he had enough to bargain with on his own. There was no way anyone could associate him with the Force if Draco didn't want to be. He had airtight alibis, means and ways of proving himself otherwise indispensable during the Force's attacks. He prided himself on his intelligence and cunning.

Narcissa's eyes narrowed. "I warned you, Draco. I told you not to get too attached to her. All that coddling and taking care of her it has blinded you to your ultimate goal."

"For someone who was just trying to persuade me to abandon this game mother, you have no qualms about reminding me of my "ultimate _goals"_."

"I am still your mother Draco and you will not take that tone with me. Potter was a sixteen year old boy. You're putting too much faith in her as a trump Draco."

Draco stood up abruptly. "She is not some tool mother or consort that I have developed an unhealthy obsession over. I will play this game the way I see fit. It's my game after all and every single player involved – Potter included – is playing by my rules!"

"Is it?" Narcissa asked as she stood too. "I think you've forgotten your own rules along the way, Draco. You seem to have lost yourself and your own ideals associating with do-gooders. At least Blaise and the Greengrass sisters are here. By the way, Astoria – "

Draco took a menacing step towards his mother. "I have never owned those ideals. They belonged to you and father. Fuck." Draco snarled as he turned around from his mother and shoved his hands through his blonde hair in frustration. "Even with father gone you are still here to preach his ways mother. Voldemort's ways. Where did that leave the almighty Dark Lord, mother? Where did it leave us and Bellatrix and father in the end?" Draco turned to look at his mother again. "Just leave." He sighed in exasperation.

Narcissa showed hurt for the first time since she arrived at Maison de Malfoy. When she reached the door she did turn back to look at her son though. "They were your ideals at one time too, Draco. You believed in them with all your heart. I know they weren't the best but it was all your father and I knew, grew up with. There are others who feel the same. I may not have went as far as killing mudbloods and that was possibly why you couldn't either Draco, we have a conscience. But you're a Malfoy son, you're not meant to be doing this."

When his mother nodded and closed the door softly behind him Draco slammed his fists into the long table then. His mother was always like a reminder of his old self. That even though he was trying to figure out who he really was, wanted to be, a part of him would always be who they bred into him. He could never lose that part of himself he knew, yet sometimes it made it difficult to follow his new thoughts when it went against his old self.

He wondered then when the time came to it whether he would ever question it as a moral dilemma or simply erase the option of making it wrong. Draco sighed.

* * *

Ginny looked at the worry in Draco's grey eyes as he tugged his red mask on. She smiled reassuringly at him even though her stomach was roiling with foreboding and put on her own mask. _'One step closer.'_ She told herself. It could have been that that was making her scared.

Ginny convinced herself as they all side apparated to the dingy warehouse somewhere in Norway. Chasing Death Eaters was not an easy task. Like these that got far away from them. Blaise had to scope out the areas first, travel here by other means in order for them to be able to apparate here. That had taken a week.

She knew they were probably before the Aurors but still the place made her shiver. Then Draco squeezed the hand he had still been holding after they disapparated and warmth flooded her being. He always had that effect on her now days. It was strange that she felt this much comfort in a Malfoy. However he wasn't simply a Malfoy to her now and he had shown her enough of himself to end her questioning it. Their friendship outweighed who he used to be, she had forgiven him because she had seen his remorse. After those reassuring thoughts, things for Ginny slowly progressed into disorder from then on out.

"Duck." That was the general cry. Ginny could not tell from who it came as blasts of lights shot towards them.

Spells were cast from all directions and they knew then that it was a trap. The tables had turned, the Force were being ambushed. The Death Eaters had gotten wind that one of their hideouts were being targeted. The light that had shot out had separated Draco and Ginny, singeing the younger witch's hand. She quickly placed a healing charm on it as she ripped out an end of her robe. She was about to tie it around her when Draco crawled towards her. He cast a hasty shield charm around them as the others battled about them. Kneeling before her Draco quickly took the material from her shaky fingers and tied it around her bicep.

"I'm fine." Ginny muttered feeling his heated stare on her.

"Rage, – "

"Not now, Grey." She cut him off. She had come too far to give up on Alecto Carrow now.

Then was not the time to talk she told him as Ginny imagined Draco's jaw clenching because he knew she was right. He nodded reluctantly and helped her to her feet. An injury first up was an ominous sign, Ginny would think as the night wore on because things only got worst for her after that.

Sometime during their raid of the magically extended warehouse Ginny found herself stuck on her own. She made her way into a dark hallway while chasing Alecto. Ginny had spotted the older witch first and had not thought twice about taking her on. They were many Death Eaters at the warehouse and reaching the ones they were targeting to Portkey back to Mansion de Malfoy was not an easy feat. Astoria and Ren had to come in from transport duty and help with the battles, which was fine since they were not managing to capture any Death Eaters. Then the Aurors had shown up and chaos ensued. In the dim lighting it was difficult to tell who was friend and who was foe.

The ceiling of the warehouse had caved in and almost everyone inside had managed to escape outside. Now Aurors and Force members alike were out in the nearing industrial areas trying to round up as many of the Death Eaters as they could. The Force's plan in disastrous situations like these were to capture at least one of their targeted Death Eaters and take them back home.

Ginny had stumbled upon Alecot by chance but she was determined not to miss out on the opportunity. Her heart was beating wildly and she kept her lit wand out while her left arm took on a defensive stance. She was thankful for all the Muggle fighting Ren had thought them. He was a half blood and his Muggle father had been Japanese. Jujutsu had been something Ren had excelled in while trying to control his accidental magic at a young age. The girls of the Force had learned greatly from Ren. Possibly not as accomplished in the art as the boys but they faired exceptionally well during training sessions. Most wizards relied heavily upon their wands and this was something that the Force used to their advantage. Even against the Aurors. Only Harry seemed to know some basic fighting stances as he showed on some missions. Ginny smiled though as she thought over how she had been able to keep up with him on the last mission.

As if she had conjured him up from her memory Harry Potter stood before her. Wand lit and emerald green eyes staring determinedly at her. Ginny froze, too stunned to believe that he was here. Her shock was used to his benefit.

"_Expelliarmus."_ It was enough to make Ginny cast a hasty _protego_. Yet the spell knocked her off her feet. She stumbled on backwards before she hit her injured shoulder against a wall. Tendrils of pain shooting into her every nerve ending. As Ginny scrunched her eyes shut quickly, the next few moments were a blur of motion.

Everything happened so fast Ginny was sure she was looking at almost inhumane speed.

Alecto Carrow was standing before her, yellow teeth cackling viciously. The Death Eater sniffed at the air and she looked at Ginny in unrestrained excitement. Her dark eyebrows furrowed and Ginny wondered if she would meet her end at the witch's hand. Time and being on the run had not been kind to Alecto. She was grey and scrawny, her voluptuous breasts sagging now from all the weight she had lost. Her face almost haggard looking. It somehow made the older witch more sinister in appearance though.

Harry cast a quick charm at Alecto but she deflected it easily before casting another charm at him.

"Give in, Carrow. There are loads of Aurors here tonight."

Alecto cackled again. "You're so gullible, Potter. There are many Death Eaters here too." Ginny could almost here the grin in Alecto's voice as she tried to get up again. Then she noticed she was bound by ropes. Her wand was just a foot away. When had that happened? Had she been so numbed from her pain that she had not noticed being bound by _Incacerous_? Ginny fell onto her side, leaning against the wall for support as she tried to get near her wand. Her hands were held too tightly together though. So constricting were her bonds that she could almost not breathe. On of the ropes were digging painfully into the tender flesh that she had healed earlier on.

Spells flashed from all sides and Ginny had to duck as fallen debris flew at her sometimes. She wondered where Harry's back up was when suddenly there was a loud crack.

"No!" Ginny screamed as she watched Carrow send a violent flash of pink light at Harry. He moved out of the way quickly and it hit a window behind him, glass rained shatteringly around them. Harry however was not fast enough to doge the desk that Carrow had sent his way while he jumped to the side. It bashed into his head painfully and Ginny flinched at that as Harry was pressed into a wall by the desk. "Get away from him." Ginny cried as she struggled unsuccessfully against her bonds.

This was when Alecto turned to look at her. "I wondered when we'd be meeting again, Weasley." Ginny stared at Alecto in hatred and fear. Where as Draco? Where were the other fucking Aurors? "I new you weren't dead, remember. I was there that night."

Alecto was bending before her now and Ginny could only wonder how the woman knew it was her. She still had her mask on. "You're senile." Ginny spat and Alecto laughed at this.

"Don't worry; I'm enjoying this little hunting game you pathetic fools have going. It's almost more interesting than evading the dim witted Aurors. I'm a Death Eater Weasley, I know more about the Force than you think we do. So I'm going to have a little fun for now." She grabbed Ginny by the top of her hood, fistful of her hair in Alecto's hands and Ginny refused to scream in pain as Alecto used the Cruciatus curse on her. White hot fury laced through her body and Ginny bit on her tongue until she could taste blood. Soon however the feeling became overwhelming and Ginny released an ear-splitting yowl, more from frustration than the intense pain. "I never forget the sound of a scream, Weasley. Not of a child I've killed or a man in my bed."

"You're sick." Ginny swore while regaining her breath.

Alecto gave a cruel grin. "Maybe." Then she threw Ginny on Harry.

Before Ginny could scream again she felt the familiar feeling of being sucked into a tube. Alecto side apparated them to a small cave. Ginny could hear waves crashing against the stone nearby and she wondered where she was.

"Let's have a little fun then shall we." Alecto stepped back from the unconscious Harry and the bound Ginny. "We'll leave this on to make it more dramatic for you and Potter, yes." Alecto bent down and kissed Ginny's head like a mother would a child before she whispered into her ear. "You smell the same, Weasley. I'm sure Potter will realise it too. I can't wait to know how he reacts when he takes of that mask. Oh and if he doesn't kill you in this cave and you do get rescued, do give my regards to little Malfoy. His father would be ashamed of him but then again the brat never did have it in him."

Ginny felt fear for Draco swell inside of her. The vile witch obviously had much more information on the Force than the Aurors did, like she had told Ginny, she was a Death Eater after all. Ginny screamed and cursed as Alecto stepped out of the cave. She watched as the other witch cast spells and enchantments around the cave to keep Harry and Ginny locked inside and disapparated away from them with a sickening wave.

"No. Please, come back." She knew her pleas were hopeless though.

She looked at Harry and felt him stir near her. Oh, Merlin. Ginny watched as his eyes blinked rapidly, one lens of his glasses shattered and Ginny hoped desperately that he had lost his glasses completely. That Harry would not be able to see her. She knew she would not have such good fortune as Harry sat up to look at her. Recognition danced in his hazy eyes as he took in her appearance.

"What the hell is going on here?" He asked harshly as he sat up and looked around them.

Ginny sobbed as she felt helpless incarcerated while Harry looked around for his wand. "Alecto Carrow brought us here. I don't know where we are but we don't have our wands with us."

She left out the part that Alecto thought it was funny to leave them together because she was really Ginny playing dead. Ginny didn't know what else to say further and so she watched something unfathomable play in Harry's eyes. Ginny stared at him, wondering when he had gotten this good at concealing his emotions. Harry had always been so easy to read before.

To her surprise he asked the first question that she could not answer. She wondered how long her mask would stay on. Would he recognise her if he took off the mask?

"Who are you?"

"I … " What the hell was she supposed to say to that?

She watched in horror as he crouched towards her on bent knees. A predatory smile lighting his features. "Who knows how long we're going to be here. Let's get to know each other a bit better then. That's a great either, don't you think?"

Ginny could only shake her head desperately as Harry advanced on her. His hands lifting for her head gear. She tried to jerk out from his hold but his fingers stayed on her mask. Then he tugged it off and her long hair fell gloriously around her face. Ginny refused to look up at him but Harry gently placed his fingers on her trembling chin and lifted her face to his.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Yes, Harry and Ginny interaction in the next chapter and we learn more about the Force members. Also, I must say I never intended for Draco and Ginny to be this close. Yes, when I came up with the initial idea I wanted Ginny to see another side of Draco but not in the way that made him "good" exactly. I still want him to be bad or he would lose his appeal to me. Also because it would make things more interesting when Harry found out, however my Draco and Ginny just sorta did their own thing here.

I promise you, their scenes wrote themselves and I never intended to uncover such natural chemistry between them. My curiosity was piqued and so after reading some beautiful D/G fics now I finally understand the Fire and Ice/Romeo and Juliet concept. I admit, I've always been a staunch canon shipper HOWEVER I've been converted (I'm slightly ashamed yes, as I should be but I will finish this story with all of me) – So, for those D/G readers who like my Draco … Keep an eye out for '_Dragon Heartstrings'_, my first exploration of Draco and Ginny. Yay!


	6. Chapter 6

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Six**_

**GINNY** watched as Harry stared into her brown eyes for seconds that felt more like agonising hours while she held her breath and waited for his reaction. Then his emerald green eyes roved over her every feature intensely. He took in the sharp nose and high cheekbones, the slightly elongated chin and big forehead before resting on her head of pale white hair again.

She thanked Merlin she had used a glamour charm instead of polyjuice potion.

Fortunately for her, Carrow had evilly not removed the mask from her face, something that had worked to her advantage.

Ginny watched as Harry sighed and fell back on his bottom, leaning against the stone wall of the cave. He threw his head back and started to breathe deeply again. Then he looked at Ginny once more. Curiosity now replacing the disappointment in his eyes. Had he been expecting … no, it was not possible.

"Who are you?" His voice sounded frustrated and when she remained silent his eyes went heavenwards before coming back down to settle unblinkingly on her. "At least give me a name."

"Jennifer." She said simply. It was the English version of her name and right then it made more sense than _'Red'_ really.

He lifted a perfectly shaped, black eyebrow up at her before shrugging. "You do know that there is no escape from the Law now, Jennifer." Why did the false name sound so familiar coming from his lips?

Ginny felt a stab of pain ice through her heart but she also felt excitement blossom within her chest. She was here, stuck in a cave as torture but she was with Harry. The wizard who had haunted her dreams for years now. The one she possibly missed the most just for his reassuring presence and innate goodness.

She had had dreams like these, did Ginny. Ones where she got to talk to Harry in an environment where he was willing to listen to her. He would weigh her words in his wise mind carefully before he took her in his arms and accepted all that she had done. Understood her reasons and respected her even for choosing her own path.

How many times had he chosen to defy the wishes of those he respected most, even when it was for his own safety, went against everything else and stood for what he believed in? Even when Harry had saved her in the Chamber of Secrets he had not held what she had done to all those poor students against her. He had forgiven her, rescued her, cared for her.

Ginny allowed her mind to embrace images where Harry acknowledged her for whom she was now and took her in his arms, held her as if he never wanted to let her go. Then when she lifted her face to his, ready to feel his accepting lips upon hers there was a swirl of dark mist that wound its way around them. Like a suffocating, poisonous atmosphere that was free of delicious, fresh oxygen. Harry was pulled back from her and Ginny looked down at her arms.

They were empty.

The hollowness she felt then was like a gaping void inside herself. She was made of nothing yet the loss had her feeling strangely heavy and burdened. It was called reality. She knew she would never be able to go back after playing dead for three years.

"Really, the Ministry will finally apprehend me?" Maybe it was anger at herself for the weakening, impossible thoughts that she allowed to invade her strong mind that had sarcasm spitting from her tongue. Or maybe it was all the time she spent with Draco.

Harry grinned at her but it was not that light, lopsided smile that had made her heart melt and knees week in their past. It was an odd sort of twisted turn to his sensual lips that made Ginny want to shiver. There was something so oddly wrong with this Harry. It was like the halo he'd always worn was slightly dimmer in the small cave they were trapped in now.

Ginny wondered if it was the fact that she knew of the many women he pranced about with now, that same vane grin unashamedly on his face in the pictures covering the front pages of newspapers and magazines, which had her feeling differently. Or maybe it was that the scrawny boy who blushed after her kisses was now replaced by a strong man whom was confident in himself. The aura around him exuded a strange sense of belonging that awkward Harry had never embraced at school. She was unsure how she felt about the changes in him.

"No. _I_ will." He said softly and his voice did things to her nerve endings that she wasn't quite sure she even understood. When had Harry become so self-assured?

Ginny raised a blonde eyebrow at him. "I think I know how to handle you. Remember that Muggle duel we had not a while back at that abandoned house?"

Instead of being put off by the knowledge that it had been her he had fought with, Harry smiled. A full smile that showed of neat, white teeth. "I knew it was you." He said enthusiastically. "So you should also know that I always go easy on females."

Ginny scoffed. "How did you know I was a girl?"

She watched him frown for a moment before he looked into her eyes. His green gaze staring intently at her brown ones. One thing Ginny never hid behind a Glamour charm was her eyes. She wanted to always see who she was. Even when she looked at the face of someone else she wanted to see herself in her eyes. Remind her of who she was now and why she did what she did.

"Your scent." He said softly and Ginny stilled.

She reminded him of … well _herself_. Only she was Ginny and he just didn't know it. _'Fuck, this really was complicated.'_

"What do I smell like?" She queried softly, unable to hold back the question or the longing in her whispered voice and she watched his head snap towards her.

"Flowers."

They stared searchingly at each other for long moments; a deep frown etched on Harry's forehead and Ginny felt tears well involuntarily in her eyes. _'Oh no.'_ She looked away hastily and tried to inconspicuously blink back the liquid that threatened to spill from the desperate craving in her aching heart. It was fortunate for Ginny that Harry turned to look out at the sea near them then. Staring out at the ocean nostalgically, trying to focus his mind on the sounds the waves made even though the enchantments kept them from his hearing.

"You seem like a nice girl, Jennifer." He said seriously after a long while, his eyes far away when he turned to look at her again. "Why do you do what you do? Are you forced to do it, do the other Force members make you do this against your will?"

Ginny stared at Harry. "No, they don't." She said harshly.

He looked at her, taken aback for an instant before something shone in his green eyes. "Tell me then, why?"

"You don't know me, how can you make such assessments on my personality?"

"I've seen the eyes of a killer before, you don't look like one to me." Harry replied.

"The Force has never killed anyone before." Ginny conveniently chose to forget that she was planning on committing murder herself. And in her current situation, the idea of finally seeking vengeance on the Carrows had never seemed more appealing.

"Then what do your'll do with the Death Eaters you've captured. There's a lot of them Jennifer, where are they if not dead?"

Ginny stared at Harry uncertainly. She was trying to read his expression the way she had self trained herself to do so long ago. She did not know if she was just out of practice at reading Harry or if he was now brilliant at masking his true feelings. His face was expressionless, bland, and completely devoid of any emotion.

"Speak to me Jennifer and save yourself the trouble because I will not stop asking until I have answers." Harry told her cockily.

Ginny glared at his certain smile and distinctly turned up her nose at him, ignoring his questions blatantly. Eyeing the ceiling she hummed loudly to ensure he knew she was drowning out his words.

"Stop that." He said softly but she ignored him. She could feel his stony gaze on her for a long moment. "I said _stop that!_" He shouted the last part and Ginny jumped back slightly.

She stared at Harry in shock and mild fear. Her brown eyes wide. She watched as Harry closed his eyes and rubbed his temples in circular motions. "I'm sorry." He muttered ungraciously and Ginny wondered when it had become so hard for Harry to actually apologise. "I'm sorry." He said more strongly this time, sincerity in his calm voice and looked up at her with a sheepish but stilted smile on his face.

Ginny swallowed and nodded. Unsure of what to say exactly. She felt like she didn't know this man and she was admittedly a little scared of him. Frightened of Harry for the first time since she had known him. Sweet, kind Harry. Nobly brave and right to the very end. It was only then that Ginny noticed she was still bound by ropes.

"Let me." Harry said as he came over to her, apparently only then remembering her bonds too.

They had been so engrossed in each other, neither daring to move too much, sometimes even holding their breaths that a silly think like ropes slipped their attention. Ginny would have found their circumstances funny had it not been meant for twisted excitement of punishment and revenge.

Ginny flinched and he noticed. She did not apologise for her instincts though as his outburst had been somewhat creepy and she was positive his eyes had turned a shade of red in the midst of his very real anger. He approached her more slowly then and Ginny made an attempt to relax, reminding herself of who he was. She watched as he picked up a jagged rock from near by and slowly but surely cut away at some of the ropes. Soon she became loose within her imprisonment and Ginny freed her hands from her sides and pulled away at the remainder ropes. She was glad that Harry did not try to help her with that task. She was unsure if she could bear to have him touch her after all this time.

Ginny slowly flexed her muscles after she shrugged off her robes and used it to cushion her back against the uneven wall she leaned against. She felt slightly cooler then in the dense cave and made sure to lift her blouse higher to cover a familiar scar below her collar bone, unlike the last time she had seen Harry. Ginny then sat back and rubbed her wrists. "Thank you." She felt compelled to say.

But Harry didn't hear her. Instead he grabbed her hand. Ginny gasped as his calloused palms rubbed against her soft skin, pinpricks of a familiar sensation erupting beneath her fast heating skin. Then she stiffened as Harry turned over the inside of her wrist to him. Healed wounds from some of her more depressed times after Fred's death could be seen on her skin. Ghostly white lines from a cutting curse, some from a dagger when Draco had taken her wand from her or broken glass when he had removed every sharp object from her room, marred her smooth skin.

Harry's green eyes lifted up to hers in shock. She had forgotten about those. The sleeves of her robes had covered them so she had been able to wear a top with three quarter sleeves instead of the normal long sleeved ones she normally wore at Maison de Malfoy.

She felt uncomfortable so she did not look at Harry instead stared at their hands. His large palm held her tiny wrist while his thumbs brushed softly against the scars on her inner hand. Carefully almost. As if one wrong touch would break her. "Why?" He asked softly and Ginny immediately pulled her hand back from his, holding it to her chest protectively.

"I … it's …" She trailed of unknowing what she could say really.

"Fine, then tell me at least why you and the Force are doing this? Whose side are you on?" Harry asked.

She sighed. "We are on our own side." When he made no attempt to reply or question her words Ginny continued. "We are simply a band of magical beings who have our own issues to settle with the Death Eaters."

"Why not do it through the Ministry then. The right way?"

This irritated Ginny. "The right way?" She spat. "Tell me Harry, you were so against Fudge and Scrimgeour and them making you the poster boy just to make themselves seem more competent even in the face of wrong, what happened to always doing what's right?" She realised her angry slip when he stared at her. _'Shit, I have to be more careful.'_

"How did you know that?" He demanded.

"Research," She lied easily. Panicking, Ginny knew she had to give Harry something else to dwell on to distract him now. "Your wonderful Ministry is so scared of the remaining Death Eaters, they're so desperate to end Voldemort's reign that they're doing what Fudge did and innocent people are suffering for it."

Harry raised an eyebrow at this. "Really, you mean like yourself? I told you I thought you not evil Jennifer, innocent hardly describes you though." Ginny couldn't believe how condescending he sounded.

She glared at him harshly. "Maybe not. However there is a woman in your wonderful prison who was not given a fair trial simply because of her past indiscretions. I've heard that you've hated Slytherins at Hogwarts but I didn't think you would ever be unjust to any of them."

She could see him wracking his brain trying to figure out who she was talking about. She needed to talk further, faster. He had known Blaise at school and if Harry put more thought into it he would realise who she was talking about.

Blaise's mother had been searching for husband number seven, eight? … _'Oh'_, Ginny groused internally, she couldn't remember but Ms. Zabini's next husband. The woman had not realised her potential candidate had been using her to hide himself from the Ministry. Blaise's mother had not known she had been harbouring a Death Eater in her home. Because of her shady past with her other dead husbands, the Ministry had assumed Ms. Zabini was in collusion with Vince and charged her with aiding and abetting a criminal even though the poor woman had almost lost her life trying to alert the Ministry when she had seen Vince's dark mark.

"The Minister would never imprison someone who did not belong in Azkaban."

Ginny snorted. "The Minister does not sit in on all trials, does he? Only the ones of highest importance. Your Wizengamot can be cold and merciless when afraid, you should know that when they wrongly tried to throw you in Azkaban during your fifth year. At least you had Dumbledore at your side, who did these people have?"

She watched as Harry could not deny her claims. "The others?" He asked. "You?"

Ginny closed her eyes and leaned back before turning to look down at him again. Her brown eyes wet. "We have someone who was framed for a murder he did not commit. He's after the Death Eater responsible for it so he can produce the proper evidence and clear his name. He was lucky that he was a skilled wizard and someone believed in his innocence to warn him off before he was arrested. I thought you could at least understand that."

"Meaning?" Harry asked though Ginny did not continue as she thought about the way Troy's dark hair and haunted eyes reminded her of Sirius.

"There's a young pair of witches whose elder brother was sent to Azkaban all because he took the mark to protect them from Voldemort. Just another Stan Shunpike who didn't deserve to be imprisoned." Ginny thought of Daphne and Astoria's elder brother who had been the head of his house after their parents had refused to comply with the Dark Lord and were subsequently killed. "A wizard who doesn't believe in the justice system of the Ministry from Fudge's reign. One who helps us willingly because he would rather give his talents and skills to us than the so called justice system of the Ministry. One …" Ginny stuttered as she wondered what Draco was doing then.

She had come to rely heavily on him in the last three years and doing something like this without his stoic presence there felt … _awkward._ As if she was a new born filly taking her first shaky steps alone. Ginny had never been the type to rely on anyone before but Draco was different. He had not tried to smother her protectively as her mother or some of her brothers had. He trusted her to know and push her limits with the reassurance that he would catch her if she fell. As her father and Harry had always done before him.

"One who wants to make up for the mistakes he's made in the past. To prove to someone other than the Ministry that he is his own person and that the old prejudices gained nothing. Voldemort lost."

"Who?"

"No one." Ginny replied stiffly and she could see Harry clench his jaw as he begrudgingly accepted her churlish answer.

"And you, Jennifer? Why are you doing this?" Harry asked.

Ginny swallowed at the coaxing sound of her faux name on his lips. "To live with myself."

Harry frowned at her, clearly unhappy with that cryptic open ended response that could mean absolutely anything. He stared at her fixedly for a while before he spoke. "You aren't going to give me anymore than that now, are you?"

She shook her head, because he was right and she saw no point in scratching her suddenly raw throat any further.

He nodded acceptingly. "I suspect there are a few people who have been wrongly accused and I respect your plight. However I still believe that you and the other Force members are going about this the wrong way. You could have come to us and we would have definitely looked further into things. All this seems rather unnecessary."

"As did a ridiculous flight on thestrals from Scotland to London was?" Ginny watched as Harry's eyes widened. "We would do anything we can to protect the ones we love, to save them, avenge them. We all choose different ways in doing so. When our faith in the Ministry was broken, as yours once was, we moved forward instead of moving backwards. Our methods are no different than that of the Aurors, we simply prefer being independent in doing what we do. We trust each other implicitly."

She was glad when he continued to stare speechlessly at her. She was tired and did not wish to argue further with him any longer. So instead Ginny closed her eyes and slowly eased down onto her side. Cradling her head in her hands from the hard ground Ginny tried to beckon sleep to numb her mind.

* * *

Harry watched as the girl before him slept. It was strange but he felt like he knew her. It was not just her expressive bright brown eyes or familiar scent that reminded him of Ginny but almost everything about her. The anger that flashed in those big eyes that were so bright and passionate that he could have sworn he was talking to Ginny. Every one of Jennifer's mannerisms was suggestive of Ginny's.

Yet there was something different about Jennifer that he could not pinpoint. An air of certain strength – that not even courageous Ginny had held – in the way she held herself. Something that spoke about the horrors she had lived through. He recognised it. While he wore his scars on the inside – the one on his forehead only a testament of whom he was and where he came from – she wore her scars on her hand.

Then there were things that Ginny would do. The way she tilted her head to the side slightly and drew her eyebrows together. When she snorted or scoffed. The way she rolled her bold eyes at him or her full lips pursed into irritated lines. The way she hummed and scrunched her eyes shut …

"_All I'm saying is that you don't snog in front of me, is all." Ron scowled at Ginny and Harry wisely shovelled more porridge into his mouth._

_He did not want to argue with his girlfriend or best friend. He wanted to be able to kiss Ginny whenever he could. If he could help it he would never stop kissing her. Seeing as how that was impossible he didn't feel too kindly about Ron having a problem with when they did do it._

_Besides, Ginny would always tell him to butt out. She could take care of herself. Something he'd learned to accept the hard way at times. Harry looked at his girlfriend and smiled. Twin patches of red on her fair cheeks and loose tendrils of her rebellious, scarlet hair falling around her face made her look appealing and did all he could to keep himself from leaning over the table and kissing her. He had to sometimes remind himself that Ginny was fearless and brave. She was not the timid girl he had met the summer before his second year._

_She did not have that debilitating crush on him any longer. She was bold and beautiful and she wanted him. Him. Harry. Just Harry. Not the boy who lived and not even the Chosen One. She understood him and offered him an intimacy of companionship that no one, not even Ron and Hermione had._

_Somehow Harry had lost track of the conversation – or screaming match really – that had been taking place between Ginny and Ron. Harry looked uncomfortably over at Hermione. He was surprised to see that Hermione was uninterestedly spooning breakfast into her mouth as her eyes remained focused on a book propped up against a milk jug. She was not paying any attention to Ron and Ginny's bickering._

"_Urgh." Ginny growled clearly annoyed at Ron who was still speaking. His voice loud and lecturing._

_Then she started to hum. Her fingers plugged into her ears and she picked a tune from what Harry assumed was one of Ginny's current favourites from the Weird Sisters._

Harry opened his eyes and looked at the witch sleeping below him. She was curled up like a cat and Harry frowned. Even the way she slept was so reminiscent of Ginny. The slightly parted pink lips and the way her thumb from the hand under her face neared her mouth.

"_I actually used to suck my thumb at a young age. Until mom stuck it in some chicken mess once when I wouldn't give it up."_

Harry almost laughed in the present as he remembered what Ginny had said to him all those years ago. The disgusted expression on her face as she shuddered. The light blush from having to confide in him after he had pried her secrets from her. The adorable way her nose wrinkled up. The delicate frown on her forehead.

Harry sighed. He missed Ginny, he really did. It was probably why he was picking out the smallest, _coincidental_ traits in this woman that Ginny had once displayed. Her smell maybe or the spark in her brown eyes was triggering things that Harry might have picked up from another woman had he bothered to pay attention to them.

Suddenly he felt the strangest urge to bend down and kiss her. To place his forehead against hers. He wanted to inhale that smell he had missed for three long years. Harry thought that he could tell the difference if he did that. Whether she was the same as all the other witches he had been with or like the only one he couldn't have.

He took in a deep breath and lowered his head slightly. His lids fluttering as he uncertainly pondered on whether he wanted to close his eyes and concentrate on what he felt or stare at the woman before him to make sure she was not a fantasy of his inconsolable mind and heart.

* * *

"You don't think it's a coincidence, do you?" Ren asked Draco as they stood in Draco's large bedroom.

All Draco could do was shake his head. Inside emotions were swirling like a gale force wind but none took precedence. He was unsure really of what he wanted to give in to the most.

He was fucking worried for Ginny; the sensations of worrying for someone else had always been so new to Draco. He had never truly worried for anyone in his life. At times he had been scared for his parents with the Dark Lord's return. He had taken his duties to protect them because he loved them.

This worry was different though.

When he had truly come to know Ginny Draco had felt something strange burst inside his chest. He had watched her take care of herself better than he had himself. He had seen with his own watchful eyes how strong and powerful she was.

Yet he had also witnessed how broken and weak she could be. She had leaned on him and he had let her. At the time he had told himself that it was only because he needed her. Convinced himself that his reasons were purely selfish. How wrong he had been. Something he was becoming used to. Not a humbling experience for a Malfoy. Ruining his pride only made his arrogance more awful.

He had cared for her, supported her and held her because he had wanted to. Because caring for someone else, shouldering another's burdens lessoned his own somehow. They allowed Draco to forget who he was and where he was coming from. He had felt like a person worth feeling compassion for, an alright person … good even.

She had made him feel that way. She had shown him what it was to be better than he had been without feeling like he was betraying himself. That he did not need to play at heroics like Potter had to be someone she could depend on, trust. Potter ….

"No." Draco said softly.

He still did not turn around to address Ren. The other wizard had just heard from Troy that Potter was missing and had come in search of Draco. The latter had been holed up in his room ever since Ginny had not returned home last night. Anger and blame at himself eating away at his insides like a poisonous disease. The Ministry was trying to hush it all up but the Force knew, as they made it there business to know these things. And Draco knew with a sinking feeling of certainty in the pits of his churning stomach that somehow, for some reason Ginny was with Potter.

"What do we do?" Blaise asked from the doorway, indecisively looking at Draco.

Blaise had known Draco for a very long time. The dark skinned wizard had come to learn to read the expressionless face of his friend better than anyone could. As if Draco was animated only to Blaise's dark gaze. He was the one person who could speak to the haughty, blonde wizard openly because Draco valued him and his opinions. He was not a Crabbe or Goyle of no intelligence, trained only to follow obediently in fear. Blaise stood up to Draco and was never afraid to tell the other wizard when he was wrong. That was why Draco respected him. Blaise had earned it.

"We wait." What else could they do? Draco had no idea where Ginny was right then and he cursed himself for his ignorance. Draco held himself liable for not being there for her.

For the first time in a very long time, Draco felt fear. Afraid that he would lose everything he had worked so hard for. And he was not thinking about himself, his father or the Force and their missions in that moment.

* * *

Harry watched as brown eyes popped open when his lips were centimetres from her forehead. It was almost as if an invisible current was drawing him closer towards her. His lips tingled with anticipation. He saw her eyes widen as he neared her.

Jennifer reared back from him. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked in bewilderment.

Harry shrugged; disappointed he had been denied the chance to test his theory. He saw anger flare all too familiarly in her brown eyes. Gold sparks igniting in her bright pupils and he wondered why this woman was so much like Ginny. Those blasted eyes.

"Are you that used to shagging witches every second that you can't stay without for this long?" Ginny demanded.

Harry gave her a lopsided grin. He could tell she wasn't as easy as all the other witches he knew. That who he was did not increase his appeal to her. If she found him at all appealing that was. She could have her own wizard really. The thought stabbed at Harry and he felt the fist flicker of jealousy over a witch since Ginny.

"Don't believe all that you read in the papers, Jennifer. Rita Skeeter has always had it in for me."

He watched as Jennifer's lips curled down in distaste. "So you don't go around shagging a different witch every week then?" Her voice was accusing.

Harry shrugged. "Normally I give them a month or two. Sometimes a few of them get too clingy." It was a lie of course. Yes, at times he found satiating himself in a witch very calming but he actually didn't sleep with women every other week. He had been with a fair few, much more so than he ever thought he would, but he was single, he had no reason not to do so.

He watched as Jennifer's eyes widened. "You're disgusting."

Harry found that he did not quite like the way she held contempt for him. Something about the way the emotion blazed in her sparkling eyes did not sit well with him. For some reason he wanted her to think better of him. Not poorly.

"It was a joke." He told her simply.

He watched as she studied his expression as if she were trying to discern any trace of a lie on his face. Harry sighed. "I've been with a few witches, yes. They've all been willing partners though and I just can't seem to find one that I really like, enough to see again." He told her honestly.

She raised a blonde eyebrow at him sceptically. "Why would you sleep with every willing witch who crosses your path?"

How could Harry explain to her that there was a darkness inside of him? Something that was real and draining. An innate part of his soul that thrived on negative feelings. The smallest bad thought was like a powerful stimulant to that part of him that he couldn't get rid of.

Harry knew that he had become better at mastering it over the years, yet there were times when he slipped backwards and allowed himself to be consumed by his bitter rage. He embraced it because it gave him a free reign to release his dark emotions and have something to blame his callousness on. Now, sitting here in a lacklustre cave with a woman who reminded him unhealthily of Ginny he wondered if it really were his dead girlfriend would he have wanted to embrace his dark side?

Then he thought bitterly that if Ginny had not left him the way she had, then there wouldn't be a hated blackness within him. That he would have filled that empty part of his soul with love and light. Not bitter anger, odium and empty desolation so dark no light could overcome it.

"You wouldn't understand." Harry settled.

"Try me." She told him, her eyes determined and Harry suddenly felt angry.

Angry at Ginny for being dead. Furious that she had not listened to him that day and stayed somewhere safe or that she was at the battle in the first place. He was pissed that he was stuck with a woman who so reminded him of someone who was forever lost to him.

Harry stared at Jennifer for a long while, before he finally turned away from her and closed his eyes. He could almost feel the disappointment that radiated at him from her but he needed to rest for a while.

* * *

"Catch me, Harry." Ginny giggled as she ran away from him.

It was dark and misty and Harry could not make out where he was exactly. He ran faster struggling to keep up with his girlfriend. "Ginny?" Harry called out. He was becoming frustrated by her running away from him and he wanted her to stop. Why was she playing these games witch him?

"I'm sorry, Harry."

"Ginny." Harry screamed as he heard Ginny's sobs but could not see her in the dark night surrounding him.

He ran faster, his heart beating wildly in his chest and his sides aching. He ran and ran but he could not find her. Why couldn't he find her? Then Harry caught a flash of dazzling red hair. He reached for Ginny.

When his hand rested on her tiny shoulder and he turned her around to face him, Harry's relief and smile vanished immediately. A pale woman with long blonde hair stared coldly back at him.

"You are undeserving, Harry. That is why Ginny left. You are undeserving. Evil, vile creature."

"No." Harry shook his head in denial.

The woman continued to gloat as Harry grabbed both her shoulders. He shook her wondering where Ginny was. What had this strange woman done to his girlfriend? Why was she saying such cruel, hurtful things to him. Untrue words. He had loved Ginny. He had, even if he had hurt her, he had not meant to. He knew she meant so much to him now. Harry would make it up to her. He shook the woman and like an upright puzzle breaking apart, the woman began to fall in blurry pieces around him.

Harry immediately let go of her and looked at his hands. Blood stained his palms and Harry cried out in horror. What had he done? He had killed her. No.

"Harry?"

Harry looked around at his best friend's voice. "Hermione?"

Before Harry could open his mouth again Ron pulled at Hermione as the brown haired witch let out a blood curdling scream. "You monster." She accused as tears rolled down her eyes.

"How could you, we trusted you." Ron spat.

Harry shook his head trying to plead with his two best friends to listen to him. He needed to make them see reason. He was lost; he didn't know what was going on. It hadn't been him. He reached a hand out to them but they backed away further from his reach and Harry noticed his palms were red. Blood dripping form his fingers.

Helplessly looking around him Harry's eyes widened as he saw a dead body at his feet.

Ginny.

Harry screamed, he denied it but Ginny remained lying still at his feet. Dead. Harry dropped down to hold her but he realised that it was _her_ blood staining his hands. No, no, no.

Before Harry could react he was being dragged back. He howled at the captors pulling brutally at him, his magic rushing out of him in waves, his body shaking violently. As they dragged him into a stone fortress on a dark night Harry caught sight of his face upon a black window. His eyes were no longer a startling emerald green but blood red.

"Harry?"

"No."

"Harry, wake up."

Harry jerked up as he felt a small hand on his back. He blinked bleary eyed behind his shattered glasses. "Ginny?" He asked at the sight of brown eyes washed in obvious concerned for him.

He reoriented himself to see the woman pull back from him in shock. Harry sat up quickly. "I'm sorry, I was dreaming." He explained.

He watched as she bit her lip and nodded at him as if words had failed her. Was she that upset that he had called her by someone else's name? She seemed to know much about him, surely she knew who Ginny was … _had_ been to him.

"You ... you were dreaming about … Ginny?"

Harry watched as she stuttered, her brown eyes looking damp inside the darkening cave. He wished it was morning again. His head was throbbing and his stomach felt like it was eating itself now. They had been there an entire night and almost a whole day now.

Harry did not want to answer her. So he looked around the cavern again when he noticed something. The sounds outside were no longer muted but coming into the cave loudly now. Harry got up quickly and walked carefully towards the entrance; he lifted a hand and slowly reached for the open entryway.

He grinned broadly when his fingers went through the opening without any resistance. The enchantments had been broken.

He turned to look at Jennifer and noticed she was watching him intently. A curious expression on her face. Relief, sadness, regret … before Harry could speak she did.

"You were giving of some pretty strong magic when you were dreaming. As if you were fighting something. It seemed to break through the spells." She frowned and Harry looked way. He could tell that she must have known it was dark magic he had used.

He was surprised at her next words though. "I'm sorry Ginny gives you nightmares."

Harry turned around but she had already started to rush past him and out of their little prison. Unthinkingly he grabbed her wrist to halt her. Harry closed his eyes and shook his head as memories rushed past his closed lids. Hundreds of fast paced, happy moments he had shared with Ginny.

Joined hands and intertwined fingers. Lips meeting and foreheads resting lovingly against each other, pounding heartbeats becoming one as they embraced like lost lovers. They were gone as soon as they came, as soon as Jennifer pulled her hand ways from his.

"I can't let you go." Harry told her.

"But you will." She said calmly and Harry frowned at her. He wanted to deny it, fib even, but he found he couldn't.

She was right. He didn't want to take her back to the Ministry and put her under questioning. He had not even looked into her mind for some reason and the thought had only crossed his mind now. Why? She was a wanted criminal. She was partaking in ventures that were against what he fought for everyday.

Yet she was extremely confident that he would not capture her. Harry stared at her for a long moment. The thought of her wasting away in Azkaban bothered him. He didn't want her shut up in a dark fortress with only the depraved thoughts of her past haunting her. He didn't want those vivid scars to be relived everyday.

He wanted to help her. Maybe it was his saving people, hero complex that Hermione complained about. Or maybe it was just Jennifer. Harry found he had no intention of letting her go though. He needed to figure out the enigma that was Jennifer. He could take her to Grimmauld place and keep her there. Lock her up in his dungeons if need be, to salvage her. He could not save Ginny but he would save this witch.

"I know what you look like now." Harry reminded her and he scowled when she laughed at him. A taunting sound that irritated him but also made something awaken in his chest.

"This." She waved a dainty hand across her face. "Is nothing but a mask."

Harry felt anger stirring within the depths of himself. Of course she had used a Glamour charm. How could he have been so naïve as to think that all a wanted witch would use to protect her identity was a simple disguise of material, when she had the mask of magic at her disposal.

Jennifer cut short his thoughts when she walked towards him suddenly. "Do you know what makes me so sure, Harry?"

The way she whispered his name was like a curse and plea at the same time and Harry could only lick his lips and stare at the sound of the familiar lilt in her soft voice. She was so close now he could literally taste the sweetness of her scent at the back of his throat, even with the lingering taint of her blood and sweat.

"No." He told her honestly.

She lifted a hand and intimately caressed his face and Harry felt it deep down into his very bones. Then she neared her head to his, her lush lips inches from his. When Harry's lids fluttered closed he was helpless to everything but the need to lean into her caress. He could do nothing to stop the hand that landed hard into the side of his neck. His eyes closed shut of there own accord as he dropped down unconsciously to the ground. He would wake hours later on the ground outside of the cave he had spent the night in. Alone.

Nothing but his stolen moments with a ghost on his mind and he found himself walking back into the cave again. Unsure if he was going back inside to relive those hours with someone who made him feel like he had been with Ginny again. Harry sat on his haunches as he picked up Jennifer's discarded and forgotten robe from the ground. He was about to lift it to his nose when something glinted like spun gold before his eyes. Harry blinked rapidly as he took the robe outside to examine it better in the fading sunlight.

He touched stray strands of red hair on the black material. Red hair from a blonde witch?

* * *

**Author's Note:** You guys didn't think it was going to be that easy now, did you?! Of course not, there is still some plot to go through before Harry finds out and really … he's going to be **pissed**. Eeep!

Anyway, I received a PM from a silent reader after the post of my last chapter, asking if this was going to still be a H/G. And even though I think this has garnered more D/G readers I won't be changing anything. Sorry to disappoint D/G fans but I ask you all to go read _'Dragon Heartstrings'_, I think Draco/Ginny lovers will enjoy it immensely, its style is a lot like this.

I've taken so much of flack for this story form H/G readers already and I'm still here, aren't I? I will never leave a story unfinished; unless I die or am asked to take down my work from the site of course.

Also, I wish I could reply to guest reviewers, but since I can't please let me clarify that while Ginny was mentally, physically and emotionally abused, she was **NOT** raped. I could not bring myself to go that dark. In saying that though this is still somewhat a dark fic so I doubt anything here would be cheesy. Not even the ending …

Thanks for reading.

Nova*


	7. Chapter 7

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Seven**_

**HE** sighed as he listened to her blabber on and on about Potter. It was enough to drive Draco insane.

While he had been entirely relieved to have Ginny back after the "Carrow Scare" – as he had dubbed the incident in his mind – he almost, only almost, wished that Harry Potter; the bane of his existence had been killed.

At least it would have spared him hours of listening to Ginny's ramblings while she tried to figure out who the "new Harry" was. It was sickening. She seemed more intrigued by Potter's slightly more flamboyant existence now than saddened by it and honestly Draco would have been glad if St Potter had ceased to exist.

Draco ran his long fingers through his fine blonde hair and watched her intently. A quill hovered over some unfinished notes as he sat back, his other arm resting on the work table with tapping fingers as his long legs stretched out before him and crossed at the ankles.

She looked alive and vibrant. The way she only did right before a mission now. He knew leaving behind her family and that fool had resulted in the old Ginny being hidden beneath layers of hurt and pain but he had been somewhat selfish in trying to comfort her. The way she turned to him and smiled when he said or did something that he would never normally do, as some things went against being a Malfoy, made him take pleasure in being the one capable of bringing her from her sadness. Even if only for a few hours a day.

Now she spent one bloody night with Potter and while he was glad nothing untoward had happened between them, Draco felt jealous at seeing her excited again, knowing that Potter was the reason. As if she had new purpose. He wondered what it would do to her if she found out his reasons for heading the Force was not as noble as she thought it was. Would she fall back on all her old loathing she had for him and with Potter's help go back to despising him, or would she be hurt by his deflection and lose a part of herself that had only been meant for him.

He was no idiot, he knew she still harboured romantic notions for Potter but that was only because she had not allowed herself the thought of someone else. Something he could attest to. Yet they, he and her, had been through things that had created a bond between them that not even Potter could lay claim to. If it had been anyone else but Ginny, someone whose tangible suffering he had not become so irresistibly linked to and involuntarily weakened by, had their mission not been so sensitive and of the utmost importance to them both, the very thing that kept them driven, sane and alive, then Draco knew he would not have held back from her.

"Of course I was disgusted by the number of women he's been with, is all. I would be happier if he had just settled down with one appropriate witch – "

"Would you?" Draco looked impassively at her. It had been the first time he had spoken since their rendezvous that morning and he could see the confusion on her face.

She was so engrossed in her rant that he wondered if she even remembered his presence there or if she was simply using him as a sounding bored. A time where one spoke to someone just to hear themselves before finally making a decision on their own. The times where it never mattered what the other person had to say. Draco felt irritation bubble forth inside of him.

"Would I what?" She frowned.

"Would you be happy if he was married to someone that wasn't you?" His voice was tinged with irritation that he tried to bite back on. The taste was too sour to swallow down again though.

She tilted her head to the side before something innately unhappy passed across her lovely features. Then she shrugged uncomfortably and looked away from him. She pretended to be engrossed in the parchment before her but Draco could tell when she wasn't reading. Her eyes stayed glued to one spot, staring at words she never registered to avoid answering him. Compared to when her eyes moved quickly from left to right, devouring whole, books she enjoyed.

"I never really thought – "

"Liar." He hissed and she turned big, brown eyes at him.

Surprised. She was surprised that he called her out on her lie or that he had now sat forward, his grey eyes boring into her amber gaze, his broad shoulders stiff and tense. The irritation he felt brewed into a steaming broth of slow simmering anger and every time she uttered Potter's name it started to boil, threatening to overflow and melt every credible thing she saw in him.

"Draco – "

"You fucking think about him for everything. You look at a bloody clock or blasted shoelace even and your mind wanders to Potter. I've had to deal with it for three Merlin damned years, I'm sick of listening to it and I don't much feel like reliving your touching holiday with the sod."

She stared at him with hurt eyes for a moment and _that_ look, like a helpless bloody doe, made him cringe. No. He would not feel any remorse for his words. It was the honest truth. Still, Draco couldn't take more of her beguiling brown eyes and so he stood up roughly, his chair scraping too loudly in the silence between them and turned to leave.

"Where are you going to?" She demanded but he ignored her. "Draco Malfoy, I am talking to you and you will not turn you're back on me." He snorted as he reached for the door handle when instinct and a loud swish had him moving to his side.

Draco stared wide eyed as a fierce purple light burned into the old fashioned door of their workroom. He turned around, furious eyes glaring at her. Ginny's wand was pointed at him and her cheeks were red. Her chest heaving slightly.

"What. Was. That." He enunciated every word, slowly, inhaling deeply and exhaling gradually as he tried with all his might to reign in his temper and keep his cool.

He saw gold sparks in flash dangerously in her angry eyes. "What the hell is your problem? I am not some servant that you can order around and then walk away from. You don't get to just dismiss me."

They both walked steadily towards each other, anger radiating off them in waves. "When you're busy spouting of rubbish that I don't much care for, I think I can decide when to walk away." He spat as they stopped right before each other.

Their noses were almost touching. "My feelings are rubbish now?"

"You're losing sight of your fucking goal, Rage. Look at this mess you've made with Potter. Had you not been under the glamour charm, had Carrow taken out your mask what would have happened then?"

It was a low blow he knew, nothing meant more to Ginny than avenging Fred but he was angry. When Draco Malfoy was angry he never declared to not being an absolute arse. She had given up her life for her cause but still something about the way she looked ever since she returned to Maison de Malfoy niggled at him.

Would Potter always be the thorn in his side?

"I'm sorry I put everyone else at risk then." There was bitterness combined with guilt in her soft voice and Draco immediately sobered, feeling contrite for his words.

Unable to look at her again though he turned away from her, not seeing the hesitant hand that reached out to him but pulled away at the last moment. "It isn't just about the team, Rage. It's about what Carrow would have done with you if she wasn't in such a good mood. If some other Death Eater had found you in such a position."

He ran his hands through his hair again. The soft hand that gently settled upon his shoulder instantly made him tense up but the reassuring squeeze helped him relax.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as she lay her cheek on his shoulder. Although he couldn't help but notice that there was still a space between their bodies that spoke volumes, one that deprived him of a warmth he felt unnaturally cold without.

Draco sighed heavily.

* * *

Harry shuffled through the scrolls of parchments another time before finally groaning and knocking some of them off his desk in irritation. "Shite." He cursed as he took of his glasses and ran his hands down his face.

He threw his head back and closed his eyes. It had been days since his run in with Jennifer and he had not figured out a single thing about who she could be as yet. No one named Jennifer was registered under the English Ministry and he knew that she couldn't be a squib. Her description didn't fit any known witch but there was no surprise there.

Ron had left him hours ago becoming slightly frustrated with Harry's obsession over a witch under the glamour charm who had obviously given him a false name. Harry appreciated the comfort Ron had given him since he had been eleven, especially after the war but there were some things Harry felt like doing alone. Hermione would call it sulking, Harry liked to think of it as brooding.

There was a knock at his door and he quickly sat up and put on his glasses again as he looked up. He wondered if their friendship gave them a special bond that conjured Hermione when he needed her.

"Is this a bad time?" Hermione asked with a hint of humour in her voice as she leaned casually against his door, obviously having surveyed the state of his office and coming to the correct conclusion.

"Not at all, come in." Harry beckoned as he waved his wand to neaten up his office. "Working late too?"

"I have a presentation before the Wizengamot tomorrow." Hermione told him as she sat across from him, her eyes searching him intently.

He had indolently wondered when she would come to bombard him with questions. Harry and Ron still shared everything with Hermione but Harry had become less inclined to indulge his feelings with anyone since after the war.

"I'm sure you'll do well." Harry kept the pleasantries going as he rearranged his thoughts.

He did however mean what he had said. It was not an easy battle, Hermione's campaign for fighting for elfish welfare, but he admired his surrogate sister all the more for it. The rewards Hermione experienced from working on something that so many people tried their best to be against was minimal.

More so when the brightest witch of their age could have been doing anything she wanted to. Yet that was why Hermione was so pure hearted. She never really did things for her own benefits. Her joy had always come from helping others. She was one in a million.

"So, what are you busy with?" She watched his face closely and Harry kept his features expressionless.

"You know I can't divulge case information to you, Hermione." She arched a mocking eyebrow at him and Harry sighed.

There was nothing that he could hide from Hermione. Even if he never voiced his troubles, she always knew because of how well she understood him. While Ron had become more sensitive to the feelings of others after the war, Hermione had spent over a decade reading Harry's expressions and siphoning through his emotions.

"Really Harry, you're going to feed me that drivel?" She smiled warmly but Harry tensed.

He watched her for awhile, simply thinking of all the times he had went to Hermione with his thoughts and suspicions. Mind made up, he pulled out a tiny phial from his desk drawer and handed it to her. She took it with care and he watched a deep frown form on her forehead as she held the glass up to the candlelight in his office. Her eyebrows drew together as she took in the tiny red hair inside the phial. Then she looked down at Harry.

"Confused?" He couldn't help but grin and then he stopped as he felt like Dumbledore in that instant. Showing people things without giving them all the facts. Asking them to use their on mind before giving them answers.

"Well I don't get it. Why do you have a strand of red hair in a phial?" She was bewildered he could see and Harry knew the one thing Hermione hated more than the unfair treatment of house elves was not having the right answers to her questions.

Harry gently took the phial back from her and watched it closely himself before he lowered it and brought his gaze back to Hermione. "What do you know about reincarnation, Hermione?"

He could tell by the deepening lines on his best friend's face that he was confusing her all the more. She was not making the link and he was glad for that at the moment. She shrugged. "General bits. Quite a few religions believe in it. More commonly Hinduism amongst Indians."

Harry knew that Hermione's general bits were almost like looking through an encyclopaedia on the subject. "Go on." He encouraged.

She narrowed her eyes at him, perplexed. "Well souls as you know are untouched and pure if a person remains good in their mortal life. They are also immortal, they don't die when your body does but simply moves on. Basically reincarnation is a belief that a person's soul can be reborn into something else, like coming back into a bird or fish or something. You know the saying in another life I must have been this or that?"

"Yeah, I've heard of it." Harry nodded. "So you can also be reborn as a human?"

Hermione shrugged again. "Yes, they believe that sometimes souls can seek retribution or come back to complete an unfulfilled life by seeking home in someone else's body, for a number of different reasons. Or if you believe in karma purposes, sent back by God or other deities, a person can be reborn to relive their lives, right the wrongs of their past."

Harry leaned forward again. "What do you mean be reborn; I thought no spell can awaken the dead."

"And none can. I don't believe in reincarnation, it's a lot like divination if you ask me. Imprecise. Plus there isn't any solid proof that it exists. But sometimes a person can be reborn to look exactly as they once were. They can even come back with all their memories of their past intact. Maybe to right the wrongs of their past or relive a life they were denied of, to fulfil a destiny that has to be met. It's stuff fiction is made of, Harry."

"But I had a choice remember, when Voldemort _killed _me in the Forbidden Forest." Harry left out how that had turned out for his soul in the end.

Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking. "Why the sudden interest in reincarnation?"

"I think Ginny's been reincarnated."

Harry saw Hermione's eyes widen at his words. He didn't blame her; he had simply come right out and said it. If he hadn't then he would have lost the courage to speak such words. His heart pounded in his chest and his cheeks burned as the silence between Hermione and himself stretched out longer.

Although he didn't regret his words. He had told Hermione loads of ridiculous things before and not once had she laughed at him or even threw his words back in his face. Even when he had held the things he had done to save her and his friends over their heads in his fifth year. Before he led them all on a wild goose chase that got his Godfather killed and nearly landed them all in the same situation. Till this day, Hermione had not uttered anything that so much even resembled "I told you so".

He watched as Hermione opened her mouth before she closed it again and then her eyes went to the phial, still clasped in his hand. Her gaze shot up to his. "Where did you get that from?" she was starting to puzzle things together.

"Jennifer." That was all he needed to say.

"You said she was blonde."

"She was." Harry confirmed. "That's why I don't understand how there was red hair on her robes.

Harry watched in irritation as Hermione's face immediately went from surprise to sympathetic. He hated pity of any kind, especially from someone who knew him well enough to know what he was thinking and how he was feeling.

"Oh Harry. She could have been working with someone with red hair and came into contact with them or she – "

"Don't!" Harry bit out harshly and Hermione flinched. "I don't need your logic right now, Hermione. You weren't there. You didn't see her, smell her. Every single mannerism this woman possessed left me thinking of Ginny. I've been with countless witches before Hermione, but this one was afferent. Even the woman I've slept with, red hair or brown eyes never ever sparked something like this … _familiarity_ within me."

He saw Hermione's face instantly take on her placating mask of reason as she felt saddened by his words and it grated on his nerves all the more. When Harry had walked into the forbidden forest years ago and stood to face death, he had been the final Horcrux. He had had a part of Voldemort's soul inside of him.

When Voldemort himself had destroyed that piece of his soul inside of Harry, there had been a fracture. Harry's soul had been cracked. While the goodness in him had always overpowered the evil from Voldemort, when his soul had fissures in it he should have filled it with his natural ability to love and care.

However, after the war the guilt he had felt for everyone who had died that night, combined with losing Ginny had not filled the cracks inside of him with light and pureness. Bitter emotions had raged from inside of him and seeped inside his open wounds. He had been too vulnerable at the time to keep his mind from stopping his heart into feeling. Who really had control of their emotions anyway?

That was why there were times of utter darkness when Harry did things that he normally would not have done. Moments when the darkness inside of him overpowered the good of his heart. Ironically, it had been love that had once allowed him to be victorious and triumph over evil and death, which eventually turned into acidic hatred that he struggled at times to control. Times when his bitter emotions became too overpowering to handle.

"Harry, even if Ginny was reincarnated, she would only be three years old. People don't just appear from thin air, they need to be born." Hermione tried to reason in a different way. As she had done with Remus all those years ago in the Shrieking Shack during their third year. Before so many secrets had been unveiled. Prior to Sirius falling behind that veil and leaving him all alone.

Before the war had come forth and snatched away people who were supposed to give him a better future. Taking in a deep breath and shaking his head to rid some of his dark thoughts away, Harry looked at Hermione again.

"She knew things about me Hermione that only those closest to me know. The more I think over some of the things she said to me while talking about the other Force members the more I realise what she was referring to. Hermione, you more than anyone knows how I shun the press. Even with this "play wizard" title that they've brandished me with, it's come from my carelessness during some of my worst times, you know how I avoid publicity otherwise. There is absolutely no way that she could have "researched" stuff like that, as she claimed."

Hermione bit her lip before staring at Harry. "It's a long shot, Harry. If Ginny's soul is in some other witch and she has all of Ginny's memories why isn't she trying to find us? Why would she be working with the Force?"

"There's a lot we don't know about the Force but I think that's going to change soon, Hermione. There aren't that many Death Eaters left and I have a feeling, their leader will approach us soon enough." He left out the bit about the plan he designed to finally get his hands on at least one Force member.

Too many cooks spoiled the broth and so Harry Potter was going to embark solo on the next mission. Not as an Auror for the Ministry, but just as Harry.

His job meant a lot to him, he loved doing what he did, but it was time he took a step back from the rules and regulations of his career. He missed his young days when he was allowed to do what he did best. Wind up in a whole whirlwind of trouble and then just magic himself out of it with a whole load of luck. He had turned out alright in the end. He always had great instincts and it was time to start trusting them again no matter how far fetched they sounded.

Just liked a giant coming to give him an acceptance letter to a wizard's school he hadn't even applied for, or a house elf ending up in his home one night. More unbelievable than his dog turning godfather who had spent thirteen years in prison for a crime the man hadn't committed or even battling a full grown troll at eleven and riding a dragon after robbing a bank and still living to tell the tale about it, left Harry open to anything.

So it was finally time to take off his Auror robes just this once and break the rules again …

* * *

Their eyes were all that was visible in the dark night while covered with their infamous red masks. They shone like beacons of hope in dreary situations and sparked confidence in every one of the Force members present in the abandoned shack they were walking towards while putting their lives in mortal peril.

They could shout, snap at and dislike each other during the day, but they were all loyal to one another outside of their headquarters. That was all that mattered, all one asked from the other. That was why they were a _force_.

They had an undisputed leader; they knew their roles well and never overstepped their boundaries. There was no conflict when on a mission.

Ginny felt Draco's eyes on her and she looked up with an inhalation of mental preparation and courage. Even if the dire surroundings and unpleasant smells, certain it was coming from dead corpses tried to stifle her hope, she had long since learned that hope came from within herself.

Draco's eyes narrowed but she was in no fit state to decipher his silent messages then, so she gave him a small nod that she knew he would interpret to mean that she was ready.

"Go."

There was no need for long drawn out speeches because they had completed all their preparation back at Maison de Malfoy and Draco was not one for many words of encouragement either.

* * *

"I'm surprised you're not running after Carrow yourself, Red." Daphne turned her head slightly to the side and shouted over the loud bangs, screams and spells being casted all around them.

"Grey called me out of it." Ginny replied with a shrug as she threw another jinx at a Death Eater attacking them.

"How the hell did we end up in the centre of this bloody thing?" Daphne grumbled.

"Careful, Blue. It's very unladylike to cuss. I might think I'm rubbing off on you." Ginny smirked beneath her mask.

Daphne scoffed in a way that sounded like a dignified sniff and Ginny could only hear her because they were fighting back to back. While Ginny being better at spells tried to curse anyone near them, Daphne held up an impressive shield charm around them. On the field there was no place for petty emotions. Every single personal feeling against each other and even towards themselves had been left behind at Maison de Malfoy.

"Our lives would be so much easier if we always avoided the Aurors." Daphne said and Ginny agreed with her.

The Aurors obviously had not been privy to the latest Death Eater hideout or things would have been chaotic as usual. Now the Force was simply just picking off everyone they wanted. However Ginny agreed with Daphne on more than one account. The other witch had said _lives_. This wasn't their jobs, it wasn't even something they wanted to do but rather something they had to do. Lived for.

From the moment they had joined the Force, fighting for their loved ones and themselves had become all they breathed for. Some part of it was addictive thought. Like the adrenaline of power and rush of excitement one felt during and after a mission was a thrill, undeniably so. Especially for beings as impulsive and bold as Ginny was. Idly she thought that she could have enjoyed herself all those these times, had she not always been filled with a purpose born form innate grief and sadness.

"Seems like you're right, Greengrass." Ginny whispered near Daphne as a sudden quiet enveloped them when Blaise and Troy appeared before them. The girls looked around to ensure their little battle was over before Daphne lowered her shield. Charred wood and stale air greeted them.

Daphne's shoulders sunk as she turned around to face Ginny. Ginny could see Daphne's sparkling blue eyes narrow at her from behind the other witch's mask. "I'm still highly peeved about my hair, Weasley." Daphne hissed in her ear but Ginny couldn't help but smile.

"Orange is definitely your colour." Ginny had turned Daphne's blonde hair into a hideous shade of orange monstrosity earlier that day while they had been duelling.

Daphne snarled as she took a threatening step towards Ginny, the latter stood defiantly, refusing to be intimidated by her fellow Force member.

"Alright ladies, let's leave this for when we get back to headquarters." Troy grabbed Daphne's hand and pulled her back slightly. She shook off his hold and lifted her head up haughtily. "You girls make sure we haven't missed anyone and Black and I will check on the other two outside before sending out a sign to Grey."

Blaise and Troy walked away from the girls as the witches stood and glowered at one another when it became apparent the wizards needn't have to contact Draco at all.

"Rage!" Draco screamed, harried footsteps following his loud and desperate call.

Ginny looked over her shoulder at Draco's voice to see him clutching his bleeding wand hand as he ran behind a blur of black. She met his gaze but was unprepared for the fear and helplessness etched in his grey eyes.

A fierce black light zoomed towards Ginny as she turned around fully to make her way towards Draco. Movement zoomed around her but all she could see was Draco falling to his knees before her.

Fear from her pounding heart was all she could hear and memories of Fred's death rushed forward, making her feel light headed. Her eyes widened as everything happened in a fast paced blur around her, too quick for her hazed brain to register.

Ginny screamed ear piercingly as she fell to the side, blood splattered across her face and Alecto Carrow's demonic cackling pierced through her immobile state.

* * *

Harry determined the best member of the Force to capture would be one of them on guard outside. He had a better chance at staying hidden outside than inside where chaos reigned.

He had ensured the Ministry had received no leads on this particular mission of the Force's and made his way to the decrepit shack hiding Death Eaters. His task was to try and take back one Force member to Grimmauld Place for interrogation. Something that had proved impossible with a bunch of Aurors surrounding him. So Harry disillusioned himself and stood outside watching exactly how the Force worked.

He couldn't deny that they had skill and covered all their bases well. They gelled as a team and that was probably their biggest strength. The Aurors needed training programmes as teams rather than individuals, Harry thought as he watched the two Force members outside.

They took turns in guarding the entryways, watching each others backs and collecting Death Eaters that had been rendered useless. Harry noticed it wasn't all of the Death Eaters present though. The Force obviously had specific targets.

Through a shattered window he noticed two members duelling in unison, their defence flawless as the other three ran after any fleeing Death Eaters. Harry wondered again how the Force broke through the enchantments surrounding the hideout but grinned as he thought that soon he could have all the answers he needed. And more.

"I think this is the last of them, Brown." A male's voice could be heard as he made to vanish with three incapacitated Death Eaters. "Wait outside until one of the others come out though, just to be sure." The wizard said and his partner nodded at him before he was gone.

Harry knew from his observations that he had only about three minutes max to take the member prowling the perimeters of the shack, before the other wizard returned. Obviously the two outside weren't the best at duelling and therefore given the job of back up.

The Force normally went in and out as quickly as possible but it was obvious with the absence of the Aurors that they were in no hurry that night. Something else Harry could use to his advantage.

He stalked towards the Force member when a loud scream roared from inside the shack. There was something chilling about the cry and Harry felt his blood curdle inside of him.

"Fuck." He heard the Force member outside curse in a distinct female voice and it broke through his reverie, reminding him of his personal mission. She made to run inside but Harry could not allow his only target to leave.

He quickly focused his wand on her and uttered a nonverbal spell. Stunned the woman fell face down and Harry quickly made his way towards her. He had about one minute to make off with her before her partner returned. Harry pocketed her wand and patted her down as fast as he could in search of any other weapons in her possession. Thoroughly satisfied with his work, he picked her up and hauled her over his shoulder.

He allowed himself a small grin and made to turn on the spot …


	8. Chapter 8

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Eight**_

**HARRY** quickly focused his wand on her and uttered a nonverbal spell. Stunned, the woman fell face down and Harry hurriedly made his way towards her. He had about one minute to make off with her before her partner returned. Harry pocketed her wand and patted her down as fast as he could in search of any other weapons in her possession. Thoroughly satisfied with his work, he picked her up and hauled her over his shoulder.

He allowed himself a small grin and made to turn on the spot …

He never managed to disapparate though as he was whacked over the head with something hard and heavy. In all his excitement he had lost focus of his surroundings and allowed himself to be ambushed from behind. Harry's knees went weak as he sank to the ground like a crumbling tower.

* * *

Ginny screamed ear piercingly as she fell to the side, blood splattered across her face and Alecto Carrow's demonic cackling pierced through her immobile state.

Ginny felt gentle but strong hands on her shoulders and cupping her face, a soft touch, promising like the first rays of morning sun on a new day and she knew she was alive. She slowly opened her eyes, too afraid to do so before but the reassuring warmth near her, not the blood – no not that – gave her the courage she needed then.

"Draco?" Ginny asked as her mind whirred with the effort to bring her thoughts up to speed.

As soon as the images of the last few moments played fully in her mind – Draco screaming for her, Alecto Carrow appearing before her, the splash of spilled blood on her face and falling – Ginny sat up quickly, her shoulders still being held up by Draco. She was grateful for that because she felt like a wilting flower ready to shrink if he let go of her.

"Are you alright?" He asked her, the concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, yeah. You?" Ginny asked, trying desperately to shake of her disorientation before looking down at his hand. There was an ugly gash on his forearm where the dark mark used to be. She looked up at him as she took his arm in one of her hands and quickly looked for her wand with the other.

It was then only that falling amidst Alecto's horrendous cackles registered through the fog clouding her ability to think and reason and her eyes widened in fear. As if reading her expression Draco immediately spoke.

"It's alright, Blaise stunned and bound her."

A sigh of relief escaped her trembling lips however the feeling was short lived. Ginny finally inhaled a breath of bravery and managed to turn to look around her when she felt her heart sink into her stomach with a sickening thud that resounded in the ensuing emptiness of her chest.

Daphne was lying flat on her back, blood gushing out from the long gashes carved diagonally across her body.

"No." Ginny whispered as she automatically crawled towards Daphne on her hands and knees. She may not have liked Daphne very much but that did not mean that Ginny wanted the other witch to die.

Ginny reached her and Daphne turned to look at the red head, a smirk formed on her bluish lips and she extended her free hand for Ginny to hold. Her other hand was being held by Blaise. Blaise Zabini was crying and if there was any doubt about his relationship with Daphne before, there was none in that moment.

"Draco, we need to heal her. Help her. Fuck, even get her to La Magiguérir. We …" Ginny trailed of as she turned to look at him, but Draco lowered his head. _**"Draco!"**_Ginny shouted though he only shook his head in reply, strands of his disarrayed blonde hair falling to the sides of his face, hiding his expression from her view. "No." Ginny cried, her tears mixing with the blood on her face, Daphne's blood, and causing rusty droplets to fall upon their joined hands.

"Oh … pl – please." Daphne sputtered and blood coughed out from her mouth but still she persisted. "A Weasley crying for me, it's an aw – awful shame …" There was no harsh bite to the blonde's voice though and she squeezed Ginny's hand as if to communicate she did not mean what she said.

"Someone find Astoria." Ginny called out because she did not know what else to say to Daphne then and none of the men around her seemed capable of doing anything but avoiding the scene before them.

"No!" Daphne jerked up and Blaise hushed her as he gently kept her lying down. She inhaled sharply. It must have hurt her to breathe after tying to rise, Ginny idly thought. "I don't want her to see me like this, Blaise." Daphne shook her head stubbornly and Ginny could see tears glistening down her pale cheeks. "I don't want her last memory of me to be like … like _this_."

Blaise threw his head back and his lips were pressed together. Ginny knew he was biting them to keep himself from howling with pain as that was not his style. He had always been more of a reserved wizard who rarely ever used many words to express himself. So Ginny spoke instead.

"Save your strength, Blue. You owe me a fight, remember." Ginny sobbed out but her words sounded weak even to her own ears.

Daphne chuckled softly and looked at Ginny, more blood spilling from the corner of her mouth. "It's been fun, Red." And then she lifted Ginny's hand to her face, rubbed it against her cheek in an act of affection before pulling Ginny down towards her. Caught of balance Ginny's back bent and she placed her free palm down to keep her from falling completely onto Daphne. "Take care of my sister, Red. You won't always need him, but she will."

Ginny shook her head and pulled back from Daphne. She stumbled on her knees towards Draco and Troy, the latter healing Draco's wounds. "Draco. Draco, help her. Please." Ginny had become so dependent on Draco being able to fix everything, to come up with a solution for any problem that she could not accept Draco was saying no at that desperate moment. That he had no idea on how to fix things.

"It's dark magic, Rage. It's too – "

"_**No!"**_ Ginny shrieked in denial and she grabbed onto the front of Draco's singed robes.

Daphne had been one of them. You don't just let your own die without a fight. She couldn't. Fred was already gone forever. And now Daphne. If she hadn't turned around, if she had stayed in front of Daphne instead of moving to the side, the curse would have hit her and not Daphne. How many lives would she be responsible for?

"Rage." Draco said softly as he held onto her shoulders and pulled her towards his chest. But Ginny pushed away from him with her fists against him and scrambled away from him.

Ginny turned around in time to see Daphne close her eyes as she brought Blaise's hand to her lips one last time. Blaise tilted his head back but not a single sound escaped his lips. Only tears trailed down his dark skin and it felt like a slap to Ginny's face as she watched him fall into the crook of Daphne's neck, his body wracking with silent sobs. Yet the faint sounds of his grief that he could not quite manage to contain spoke voluminously of how much he was hurting inside.

Every head was bowed and no eye was dry as the realisation of what really happened there that night started to strangle them with the essence of death. So pungent and stifling it left no person free from self blame.

"I'll kill her. I'll rip her limb from limb with my own bare hands and feed her to the hippogriffs." Ginny growled fiercely as her grief turned to a burning anger coursing through her veins.

Before she could make her way towards the incarcerated Carrow though Draco hauled her back by her arms and her legs kicked out wildly at the air before her. "Not here, Rage. I promise you'll get your chance. But back at Maison de Malfoy." He whispered against her ear and placed his nose against her face, reassuring himself that she was alive.

Ginny nodded and was about to slump against Draco when harried footsteps pounded through the door.

"Draco, we've got a problem." Ren hurried inside the smoking shack and his eyes widened at the sight he was met with. His mouth opened and closed countless times but only one word was vocalised. "No." And Ginny noticed how his hand tightened around the back of Astoria's thighs while she hung over his shoulders, obviously unconscious.

Then Ginny's eyes widened. In the grasp of Ren's other hand was a bunch of robes and someone's head of messy black hair lolling lifelessly around it. Troy walked over to Ren and lifted the head of the man who was on his knees in Ren's hold. Ginny gasped and the next thing she knew was her world went black.

* * *

Ginny splashed her face with water as she looked up at the mirror in her bathroom. She smacked her cheeks a few times and glared at her reflection with stoic determination. The one she saw on Harry when he was determined to do something against the rules. The look Draco wore before he made a tough decision that went against everything he had been taught to stand for.

She inhaled deeply and lifted her head. This was it. Something Ginny had wanted since the bitch and that mongrel had taken Fred from her. She didn't have Amycus yet, but oh she was going to make Alecto pay first. And the bitch was going to be awake for every second of it before she died. The last person she would see before she was snuffed out from existence was Ginny Weasley.

Ginny scraped back all her unruly red hair away from her face and knotted it at the back of her head into a severe hold. She dried her face and walked out of her bathroom with rigid shoulders and her back ramrod stiff.

She ignored Troy, pacing the dark corridors, eyeing her over the rim of his tea cup as she walked towards the dungeons. Draco she knew would have already extracted whatever information he could form Alecto on the whereabouts of Amycus and in that minute, Ginny didn't care. Blaise was in a stupor, drunken with grief. Astoria couldn't handle the death of Daphne and had to be sedated to be kept from hurting herself. Ren was keeping an eye on her.

It seemed like everyone who wanted a piece of Alecto was not in the right frame of mind to do so. Except for Ginny. Because she had craved for this opportunity for years now. Prepared herself for this alone. This was her moment.

Ginny pushed through the dungeon door and was glad when the heinous screech made Alecto look up at her. The older witch was magically bound to a chair – which was nailed to the solid concrete floor – by steel manacles and Ginny grinned in a feral fashion at Alecto. For the first time since they had met, fear was present in Alecto's eyes and Ginny felt more pleased at this welcoming than she had initially been.

Draco moved to the side causally and took a place lurking with the shadows in a corner, arms over his chest and ankles crossed, giving her the space to work. Ginny walked forward and stepped before Alecto who looked form Draco to her before a demented grin crossed the older witch's face.

"And what exactly is the little bitch – "

_Thump._

Ginny's fist thundered across Alecto's face before the older witch could finish her sentence and her face whipped to the side. Alecto slowly turned her head back around to look at Ginny and spat out blood at the younger witch. Ginny did not move or even flinch.

"If that's the best you can do little girl, then you'll find that you will be sorely disappointed. That petty attempt at extracting revenge will never work. You will never hear me squeak even in pain, let alone scream. And no matter what you claim, I don't think you have the ability in you to use dark magic. You're weak." Alecto said smugly and Ginny visibly faulted.

Then she inhaled and nodded. "You're right." Ginny said softly and then turned towards Draco, her eyes ablaze. "Release her."

Ginny could literally feel the glee radiating from Alecto and it only made the red head smile internally. Draco observed her for a few moments, seeking assertion that she was prepared for what she had planned first, before he nodded silently and flicked his wand at Alecto. The manacles immediately opened like the jaws of death before falling lifelessly down the sides of the chair.

"Did you find out where the fat bastard is?" Ginny asked and again Draco only nodded, watching her intently. "Good." Ginny smiled at him. Not a reassuring or an "I'm fine" smile, something of a maniacal grin rather, with a deadly gleam shining through her eyes.

Alecto watched the interaction between Ginny and Draco with malicious eyes before she stood slowly. Before she could make any kind of move forward though, Ginny spun around and her fist landed straight across Alecto's jaw again. The woman stumbled backwards. She did not have time to recover as Ginny swirled around with a roundhouse kick that had Alecto crashing against the dungeon wall.

The dark witch tried to scrape at the solid stone with her nails, as she held onto her throbbing head. "You little bitch. I should have killed you when I – "

Again Alecto never finished her sentence as Ginny reached her with trained speed and held onto her shoulders, slamming a knee into her stomach. Alecto's mouth opened in a gainful 'o' and spit drooled together with blood from the corners of her mouth.

"I don't need magic – dark or otherwise – to kill you, Carrow. _This_ is _my _game." Ginny spat with another viscous blow.

There was a point – minutes or it could have been hours later for all Ginny knew – where she found herself straddling Alecto, her fists hitting into the other witch's bloody face – which was almost unrecognisable now – like a mad woman. There was something that was not her present clouding her vision then, swirling around her as if she had no rhyme and reason any longer. Then Ginny found herself not in the dungeon of Maison de Malfoy anymore but back in the Forbidden Forest with Fred who was lying only a few feet away from her. Dead.

Alecto's cackles chased away rational thought from her mind and Ginny was lost. Lost in the adrenaline of her attack and the violence that burned inside of her from rage. Revenge, retribution, vengeance. They're were words Ginny never owned before and now it was all she knew.

Carrow had taken her innocence away from her from the very moment she had stepped into Hogwarts her sixth year. The woman had stripped her of her pride and values, brought her down to a filthy level. Then Carrow and her rotten sibling had taken away her brother, her life … her friend. Alecto's face blurred before Ginny and it morphed into Amycus' pudgy cheeks, beady eyes and perverted leer in Ginny's mind, drawing out a more sever depth of rage from her. Draco had named her well.

And the evil would pay. Every drop of blood was payment in kind and Ginny continued to launch into Carrow. Alecto coughed and the witch's blood flew onto Ginny's face. It was hot and it seemed to burn through her skin.

Ginny stopped, and Alecto laughed. A broken sound. But it still managed to make anger and hatred boil up inside of Ginny. "Are you going to kill me, Weasley?" Alecto asked with a raw voice cracking from pain, the words obviously an effort to pass through her throat.

"Do it! I dare you."

And Ginny's hand slid to her ankle, pulling out a dagger from the inside of her right combat boot faster than Carrow's swollen eyes could register. Alecto could not miss the glint of the blade though as it was held high up by Ginny, ready to strike. When the blade was poised just about to plunge into her flesh, Ginny could see fear in Alecto's eyes, uncertainty, doubt as to whether Ginny would not kill her. Ginny could feel it radiating of Alecto in waves.

And this was what she had been training for, waiting for and fighting for. This moment where she could extort her revenge, claim her pound of flesh by any means necessary. She was going to be the one to avenge her brother and now her friend. She was going to take something from Amycus that he had taken from her. She was going to cut the bonds of the past that had held onto her with a grip she could not break free from.

Ginny's hand trembled and she thought about how easy it would be to kill Alecto, a weak and snivelling woman in her grasp. Now she had the power to take someone's life.

Ginny screamed and raised her blade higher still. Ginny brought down the dagger in a quick slash and Alecto's eyes widened as she shrieked desperately like some demented cross between a banshee and hag.

The blade bent against the dungeon's stone floor – harmlessly. And Ginny pulled Alecto up by her robes. "So much for not screaming." Ginny hissed as she shoved at Alecto, spitting on the wretch's face before getting up again.

She was breathing rapidly, her chest aching from exertion and tears streaming down her face from her roiling emotions. Alecto opened her eyes and cackled.

Ginny didn't have the power to give life. So she had no right to take it.

"I knew you –" Again Alecto never finished her sentence before Ginny stomped a foot into her stomach.

She sputtered and fell unconscious. Draco lifted his wand, his eyes never leaving Ginny's shaking form as he magically bound Alecto up again. No one would heal her. Regardless of the damage done to her. She could bleed to death for all anyone cared.

* * *

"Rage, listen to me." Draco tried to reason.

"_**No!"**_ Ginny screamed as she thrashed through her room like a miniature whirlwind, throwing expensive porcelain at walls and punching her fists into mirrors.

She kicked tables and pulled at her bedding, ripping sheets and pillows as she lost control. Her anger made her magic radiate from within her in outward waves and unexpectedly little things shattered around her, larger objects shook as if they were in the midst of an Earthquake when she stomped near them.

"I couldn't fucking do it. She's right, I'm weak." Ginny howled. Tears of inner torment and suffering streamed down her face.

Eventually Ginny crumpled to her knees, legs wobbling like jelly and her head pounding from all her screaming and crying. She was physically, emotionally and mentally spent. Her nose was congested and she couldn't breath properly, she kept pulling back snot and it tasted vile and bitter. Like regret and pain.

She was a mess and she didn't care. She felt like everything around her, broken and irreparable.

Draco kneeled down next to her and she launched herself at him, griping the lapels of his Muggle shirt and shaking him furiously as he held onto her wrists.

"Why?" She wept mournfully.

Draco's face remained impassive and emotionless and Ginny become more frustrated at that. She started to thump her fists against his chest. Unsatisfied when he remained still she scratched and slapped and beat at him, crying and cursing and pitying herself. It was dismal.

"Stop it." Draco ordered after minutes that felt like hours and when she didn't listen he simply wrapped strong arms around her and pulled her against him.

Ginny struggled against his hold for awhile; finally she stopped, only shaking in his arms from the wracking sobs tearing her apart. He placed his face upon the crown of her head and kissed her there gently before pulling her slightly away from him.

"Look at me." He said as he lifted her face up to his and she reluctantly met his grey gaze.

They were dark and stormy and that close to him she could see anger, pain and something else unfathomable swirling in his unsettled gaze. His thumbs moved over her face to wipe away tears from her raw cheeks but more fell down.

"You're not weak. You're strong because even after everything you've been through, you don't have it in you to kill. A remarkable feat and something that makes you who you are. If you killed her, took a life, then you would be no better than her. You're bigger than your hate and desires and no one and nothing but you own yourself. You can not be controlled but she can't say the same."

Ginny absorbed every word he said as if it were filler to all the cracks of doubts and self loathing she was disfigured with, turning them around in her head to try and understand if she deserved any of his reassurances. She struggled to understand if there was any truth to it.

"I should never have been fighting there that day." Ginny sobbed again. She started to cry so violently then, howling open mouthed like a new born babe that she was having trouble breathing. She felt close to an aneurism in her pained state.

"You keep blaming yourself for something that isn't your bloody fault." Draco chastised and Ginny was so surprised at his stern tone that she sat still and lifted her head from his chest to look up at him. He sighed then and ran his fingers through his hair.

"It was all my fault." Ginny whispered softly, as if confused that he didn't remember so.

Draco shook his head. "You think that Fred died because he was protecting you, well you're wrong. It was a bloody war for Merlin's sake, people were dying. Good and bad. Fred knew exactly what he was doing when he turned around to take that curse for you, he could have just as easily not moved in front of you that night but he didn't. Because he loved you enough to give himself up for you."

Ginny shook her head disbelievingly but Draco continued. "As much as Daphne did. She was a skilled fighter, Rage. She could have easily pushed you out of the way and ducked from Alecto's curses and your shoulder would have been cursed at most. Yet Blue ensured she pushed you out of the way completely and ended up bearing the brunt of that curse. She _chose_ not to take that chance with you because you were her family."

Ginny remembered that she had thought along the very same lines when she had found Daphne about to die. She couldn't believe that she was losing someone whom she considered family because that was what the Force members had come to mean to one another. Although Ginny was still sceptical about Draco's reasonings. She had spent years blaming herself after all.

"If you don't think so then tell me this, if that curse was aimed at Fred or Daphne, if the situation had been reversed, what would you have done?"

Ginny knew she would have protected Fred and Daphne, she knew in her heart that she would have given her life for them, did for anyone she loved what her brother and friend had done for her. Yet she couldn't help feeling like it was all her fault. There was no rationality in guilt and grief of course, however there was some understanding trickling through the past now that she was strong enough to listen and had already overcome the hurdles of her trauma.

"Now one blames you, Rage. Not Blaise, Astoria, anyone. Because they know they would have all done the same. No one blames you but you yourself and you have to _stop_."

She looked up at Draco questioningly. "You're telling me this now?" There was nothing accusing in her voice but she was bewildered that in all the time she had grown close to him he had never, not once, told her it hadn't been her fault.

Draco stared searchingly at her. "If I had told you then, or yesterday even, before we caught one of the people responsible for his death, would you have believed me?"

Ginny's eyes widened as comprehension dawned on her. This was something she had needed to do in order to come to the place of understanding and realisation she was currently standing at. She had needed to climb up her hill all on her own to stand upon the top of the precipice of acceptance. This had been her own battle, one only she could have fought. And won.

"You needed this, Rage." Draco sounded so convincing yet made it all sound so simple she felt like an idiot for not coming to this realisation sooner. "If you hadn't decided to avenge Fred then you wouldn't have allowed yourself to heal because that would have made you feel undeserving of his sacrifice. It didn't have to be about killing the Carrows, it only had to be about you finding them and bringing them to justice."

Ginny felt as if she were walking out of a dark tunnel. She could see light at the end and she knew that even if she had to scramble towards it on broken hands and legs she would reach the end of her darkness – and she would heal because of it. Ginny looked up at Draco then.

It was possibly the most Draco had ever said to her and his words were like a healing balm. Cool and calming, placed gently and thickly to protect her raw wounds and she nodded at him, grateful. She was still hurt and it would take much time to overcome everything she had been through, she would have many ugly scars even after she had mended, but she – like the words engraved below her collar bone – would become painless one day. With time. It was like the first step towards healing and forgiveness and when she inhaled then it was like the first time she had breathed in air unpolluted with the scents of revenge.

She imagined it was the closest to being reborn as she would ever feel.

"Thank you." Ginny nodded again and a weak smile strained against her lips like the first rays of weak sunlight filtering through the dark storm clouds.

Even though she still cried, and continued to hurt, she was also finally letting go. And it felt so good.

* * *

"How is she?" Draco asked Ren softly without turning around to look at the wizard. Yet he could hear Ren sigh heavily and knew the man was rubbing his face and blonde hair in exhaustion.

"She's empty." Ren said sadly. "So is Blaise."

Draco nodded. He knew. He had sat with Blaise for hours after Ginny had finally taken a calming draught and dreamless sleep potion and succumbed to slumber. Draco grit his teeth. He never wanted to be as dependent on anyone as Blaise had for happiness. He had warned Blaise about attachments and emotions in this job, gave all the members of the Force the same speech but it had proved useless.

Even in part for himself.

Thoughts of how full of raging emotions Ginny was compared to Blaise and Astoria were such a stark contrast in his mind. Draco closed his eyes for a moment thinking how much it had taken out of himself to give each the different kind of support they had needed in their current situations. He immediately opened them when all he could see was Ginny on her knees before him, her heart wrenching sobs fading to give way to a small smile. She wasn't breaking anymore, she was slowly healing.

She had never been truly broken. She had merely been shattered, so to speak, and believing she needed to avenge her brother had kept her from falling apart completely. It had given her a purpose to stay sane. Now that she had faced what caused her to crack all this time she was ready to let go. She had learned the truth and acceptance was the first step. She had done that. Accepted she was not a killer and that she needed to let go of her thirst for blood because she couldn't stomach it.

He also knew what that meant for him as well. He had only ever been a temporary fixture in her life. Unlike the man lying unconscious before him.

"What are you going to do with him?" Ren asked as he saw Draco's gaze on Harry.

Draco stared at Harry Potter for a long time. Draco's initial thought had been to wake the idiot up, delve into his mind and erase the memories that incriminated the Force before setting him free. That had changed though. Draco knew what he needed to do now but that did not make it any easier of a choice.

He then thought of Blaise weeping over Daphne's dead body and he knew he was not far away from that himself. If he allowed himself to give in to his own needs and wants then he would end up like Blaise, because he would lose her. There was no doubt in his mind about that.

"It's time." He said rigidly and turned towards Ren.

The other wizard's eyes widened but Ren knew Draco well enough now to know that he never joked about anything this serious. Daphne's death still lingered around them like a reminder of why they were doing what they were doing and Ren knew that Draco was right. He could tell, the time had come …

* * *

Ginny stood over the bed and watched Harry. He had always looked so peaceful when asleep – unless he was haunted with nightmares that was. While stunned she could imagine he was dozing off, unmarred and not haunted. A lock of his jet black hair was lying over his forehead and she knew he never minded that part of his unruly hair because it hid his scar from view.

Absent mindedly, reliving the thoughts of her past with Harry right before her, Ginny reached out to move away the hair from his face.

"What are you doing?" A voice whispered harshly before she touched Harry's face and Ginny pulled back her hand quickly, feeling like a naughty child caught doing something wrong.

Ginny shrugged as she turned around to look at Draco, standing on the other side of Harry's bed. "I just came to see how he was."

Draco stared at her, taking in the long blonde hair and pointed features she used to hide her true identity because she said it made her look like a long lost sister of his. "Is the disguise in honour of Daphne or because you want to be here when I awaken Potter?"

He could see her eyes flash and he knew he should not have mentioned Daphne so soon. "The latter actually. He'll be less likely to react from fear if he sees a familiar face. I've told you I've seen it, he's capable of some very dark magic."

"I doubt it's anything that Ren, Troy and I can't handle." Not really feeling up to arguing, Ginny nodded in agreement.

She didn't know why but she had wanted to see Harry again, desperately. Maybe it was that he was under the same roof as her and she knew she couldn't just sit back and ignore that fact. Or it was because she had been letting go and she simply wanted some form of closure from him. Even if he didn't know who she really was. In some sort of weird and twisted way she wanted to let go of the last thing that kept her bound to a past she needed to release in order to move forward.

"You can stay, if it means that much to you."

Ginny looked up, pleased with Draco's reply and nodded her thanks at him. She walked to stand slightly away from the bed and squeezed his arm in appreciation as she made her way past him. Ren and Troy entered the room and Ginny was surprised but pleased to see Blaise following as well.

Although he looked pale and haggard almost, as if one day of grieving Daphne was a lifetime's worth. He nodded at her and Ginny took his hand in hers as he came to stand next to her. Blaise and her had never really gotten along well and preferred to stay out of each others way normally, but today they were the same. Because they knew what it felt like to love and lose. Ginny allowed herself a small smile as he squeezed her hand in gratitude.

She hadn't realised she was holding her breath when Draco loomed over Harry to awaken him but then his green eyes shot open and Ginny had never seen them look so piercing and entrancing before.

He struggled against his metal restraints and the bed creaked in protest but Ren and Troy held him down as Draco attempted to perform Legilimency on him. They thought it was working when suddenly Draco flew across the room and crashed into a wardrobe door.

Ginny made to move towards him but Blaise held her back and pulled out his wand and so she reluctantly did the same.

"What the hell?" Ren demanded as he and Troy pulled out their wands and aimed it at Harry while trying to keep him bound to the bed with their free hands.

"Stun him now." Draco ordered. "There's something wrong with his mind or his Occlumency shields aren't what I expected them to be." Since when had Harry been good at Occlumency, he had always hated it to the point where he was never, ever good at it.

The four wizards in the room immediately made to stun Harry but Ginny could tell it was too late. She could see fury and fear wade into his eyes and for a moment they shone like glittering rubies. Or it could have been the light from the stunning spells that zoomed straight towards him.

Only none made contact with him as a shield erupted around him and the spells were easily deflected, treacherously rebounding towards their casters. The Force members ducked and dived but Troy wasn't so fortunate in avoiding his stunning spell as the others were and he was hit directly with the spell, causing him to crumple to the floor uselessly.

Before anyone could awaken him a black mist swirled around them, picking up furniture and ornaments in its wake. The worst of it was when the blackness solidified into thick ropes that looked as is they were designed wispily to fool its enemies. It wrapped itself flexibly around Ginny, Draco, Blaise and Ren, levitating them off the ground at it strangled them and leeched itself onto the ceiling.

Ginny screamed instinctually and Draco tried to extricate himself from his hold, moving towards her but it was no use. She then realised that the black … ropes? – _things_ were not trying to suffocate them. Her scream did seem to snap Harry out of his trance though as he looked towards her with empty, glazed over eyes as if he were seeing right through her. He blinked. Once, twice and on the third time she could see he was focused again.

"You." He said as he stepped towards her.

"Get away from her." Draco roared and Ginny closed her eyes as she knew what was to come.

"I know that voice." Harry said as he turned towards Draco who had momentarily stolen his attention. A wolfish smile danced across his lips as he made his way towards Draco.

Draco tried to jerk his head away but it proved to be fruitless as his mask was tugged of by Harry. Ginny could see Harry step back in shock. Then his surprise turned to anger and pure loathing.

"Malfoy." Was all Harry could say in his open disgust and contempt for Draco. Then his eyes moved to the others and he waved his hand, the masks on Blaise and Ren flew off their faces with them being bound and unable to prevent Harry's spell from working.

She watched as Harry smiled condemningly at Blaise before narrowing shrewd eyes at Ren. It seemed though that he had left the best for last and hadn't really been interested in the others in the room but to satisfy his curiosity.

"All these wizards and only one female in the room." Harry said mockingly as he walked towards her. "Two of whom I know. Which leads me to believe I know you too." There was an excited glee in his eyes as he stepped towards Ginny. "Still under the same mask?"

He whispered into her face and Draco tried to lash out at Harry next to her. Harry picked up a lost wand from the floor and waved it across her Glamour charm.

Slowly her features shrunk and resized, morphing into her real self. Her eyebrows and hair began to glow into her normal shade of red and Ginny watched the glee in Harry's eyes turn into horror.

"No." He said as he took a step back. He looked as if he had been petrified, frozen to the spot from dread, paralysed beyond comprehension. Then he turned towards Draco as if all the issues in the world were Draco's doing. As if Draco had planted a Ginny look alike at Maison de Malfoy to deter and confuse him, unhinge him. Because Harry looked close to senility in that moment. "Is this some sort of twisted game?"

Draco glared back stubbornly at Harry but Ginny answered, realising that there was only one way forward now. "No. It really is me, Harry."


	9. Chapter 9

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Nine**_

**SOUNDS **so loud and fearsome buzzed around him like waves crashing against a shore, thunder roaring above the Earth, train engines churning ever closer. They weren't calming in any sense, they were noises meant to scare you, erupt around you like humming foreboding and Harry wanted to drown, burn, sink or break because living was hard. For the first time he envied his parents and all those who had found death early, because he knew now that it was a reprieve and not a loss. It was freedom and he had never been afraid of dying before.

He was hunched over, blood and sweat dripping from him as one. His knees scraped painfully against the cold concrete while he was being dragged by his unruly black hair, the backs of his broken fingers trailing uselessly beside him. Harry's opponent was tough, mean and big, the ugly thing reminded him of a troll and Harry himself was in no right mental state to engage in any sort of battle.

"Stay down." The large fighter grunted as he lifted Harry's head and slammed it onto the floor, hard.

Harry's eyes were rolling to the back of his head and the pain that shot through his forehead was like claws digging into his cranium and he wondered if he might suffer brain damage from this fight. The thought pleased him, made him hopeful almost because he wanted to forget.

He realised then that the physical pain was nothing compared to the internal pain and rage he was experiencing. The only image Harry saw behind his swollen eyes was one of red hair and a fair face dotted with tiny freckles that was endearing. It haunted him as if her ghost itself was there, in the midst of the cage he was fighting in. Ironically though, she wasn't a spiritual form in his mind any longer and it seemed her power to drive him to insanity was only increased ten fold.

He had wanted this. Craved for her to be alive all this time and now he couldn't believe it, could not accept it. Harry didn't understand why his Ginny would do the things the one who pretended to be Ginny was doing. He did not want that woman. The one who worked with the Force – worked with Draco Malfoy of all the people in the world – and hid behind a cold face of pale skin and blonde hair.

Harry began to feel numb. He was uncertain if it was because he could no longer feel any part of his body or because he was simply disintegrating from the inside, caused by all the emotional pain he couldn't quite subdue, but he knew he was fast approaching his wish. He was nearing death and in those last fading moments between real and imaginative, all he could think of was how he was losing sight of who he was, where he'd come from, all the things that made him himself and he couldn't stop it. He wanted to turn around and see a world behind him devoid of pain and heart ache but he wasn't quick enough to defend himself against the final blow.

Then, his world went black.

* * *

"Harry? Harry!"

Her voice was teasing but joyful and melodious. When she laughed huskily it felt like a physical caress that had the power to touch his very soul. The broken bits and pieces of him that craved to become one again and end the internal battle of good and bad inside of him. She was like a soothing balm just as sinfully delightful as the sweet scent of flowers she trailed behind her.

"Ginny." Harry called out for her as he tried to find her.

He heard her laugh and he smiled broadly to himself before the clash of thunder roared above him. Harry frowned as he looked up at the roiling heavens now darkening from a once beautiful, cloud free sky. When his gaze came down again he immediately stiffened.

Before him was no longer a clear path but rather thick, smoky hedges that felt like they were closing in on him. Harry's first thoughts were to save Ginny and so he ran forward, lightening sometimes illuminating his ever darkening path and he grabbed his wand, casting _Lumos_ so he could find his way better. He walked further with no proper direction in mind when he heard Ginny scream for him.

His flesh erupted in goose bumps and he ran then, trying to reach her as he called out for her. She didn't reply but her screams grew closer and more desperate.

"Ginny." Harry called.

As he turned a bend he was met with a shadowy figure waiting for him at the end of the walkway and Harry stopped for a moment, approaching at a more cautious speed with his wand held out. When he came close a gust of wind caught the hood of his first challenge and blew it off a head of pale blonde hair. Harry's wand light highlighted Malfoy's pale features and loathing immediately welled up within him.

"Where is she?" Harry demanded.

Malfoy gave him a cynical twisted smirk that Harry had always hated on his old school rival, causing Harry to clutch his wand tighter. For the first time Harry thought he could bring forth enough hatred to kill Malfoy but he held back. Then the paler wizard inclined his long face behind him and cautiously Harry looked over the other wizard's shoulder.

Relief washed over him as he saw Ginny slowly approaching him, looking unharmed. "Ginny, thank Merlin."

Harry said softly as he held out his free hand for her while still pointing his wand at Malfoy. Harry watched in horror as all the relief he felt moments ago drained from him as if he were a sieve trying to hold water. Ginny arched one perfectly shaped red eyebrow at him. Her face was a condescending look of amusement as she stopped just a foot behind Malfoy. Then she did something inexplicable and completely unbelievable, she lifted her hand and placed it on Malfoy's shoulder. Ginny's hold spoke of trust and bonds between her and Malfoy that felt utterly shattered between himself and her in that moment.

The blonde haired wizard moved his head slightly to look at Ginny's hand on his shoulder, something Harry had never seen before blazed in those cold grey eyes fleetingly before Malfoy looked towards Harry again. Then, the dark haired wizard only saw the disdain and disgust Malfoy had reserved for Harry alone all those years they were on opposite sides.

"No." Harry said in denial as he felt his insides melt into a simpering, petty mess that he could no longer bear to stand.

The laughter that surrounded him tore at his heart and rumbled within his shattered soul. Instead of saving him, she had damned him.

"Harry! Harry, get up."

Harry opened heavy eyelids and tried to focus on the bleary images all around him. He groaned, the feeling of dead weight settling all around him when suddenly his eyes shot open. Memories of the past few hours trickled through his mind like sand through an hourglass and Harry tried to sit up.

"Oh no, Harry, please lay down." Hermione's soft voice filtered trough his hazy senses.

"Hermione?" Harry asked softly.

"Yes, Harry. I'm here." Her voice was hesitant and then Harry could feel the cool of his glasses being placed on the bride of his nose.

With his vision restored Harry could make out his bedroom at Grimmauld Place and Hermione sitting on the edge of his bed, peering at him with something close to fear in her eyes.

"What happened?" Harry asked carefully, his whereabouts after he had left the Force's Headquarters still hazy and his head ached when he scrunched his brain up to try and think about them.

He noticed Hermione's concerned features and that did nothing to reassure him. Harry hoped he hadn't told anyone about his little discovery because he wasn't sure how he felt about it himself. He also couldn't be certain that any part of it was true and he had an obligation to protect everyone who held her memory in high regards before hurting them all with false hope. Or worse, the truth. In this case the truth was certainly worse.

"Harry, you were supposed to pick Teddy up two days ago to spend some time with him but when you didn't show, Andromeda was worried about you. She checked in with me, said you hadn't even contacted her at all and regardless, it was most unlike you."

Harry felt guilt pool inside of him and he was close to emptying the contents of his stomach. He had not expected to be caught by the Force but he had, and in hindsight it had been utterly stupid of him not to tell one person about his plans, even though he was capable of taking care of himself. He also did not want to lose the progress he had made with Andromeda thus far because he did not want to miss out on Teddy growing up anymore than he already had.

"When I realised you hadn't been into work I knew something was wrong." Hermione continued. "Of course Ron wanted to come here straight away, but you guys had an important field assignment and I convinced him it would be better if he went ahead, because both of you missing would be worse." Hermione rattled on, clearly anxious about what had left him in such a dire situation.

"Thanks, Hermione. I owe you and Ron one." Harry closed his eyes as he tried to work back saliva in his parched mouth.

When Hermione was silent for a long time Harry knew he would not get away with things so easily. He would have to explain himself more so since he could only imagine the state in which Hermione had found in him. The events of last night pounded against his skull as if his opponent was smashing his head into concrete once again.

"I found you in a state of blood and broken bones, so badly beaten that even Kreacher was afraid of nearing you. He was even more in a tizzy because he was forbidden to ever contact any of us." Harry could here the disapproval in her voice but he was in no fit state to feel guilt for giving his house elf an order that didn't really harm the elf. Or argue the matter with a house elf activist.

"It was a wonder you even apparated here, Harry." Harry could honestly not remember how he had ended up coming back to Grimmauld Place but he didn't want to tell Hermione that. "So it was no surprise to find you splinched just as badly as you were beaten." Harry flinched as he realised that the cold, throbbing pain in his leg was because he had been splinched. "I couldn't think past healing you and letting you rest. What is going _on_ with you, Harry?"

Hermione asked sternly but the concern was evident in her trembling voice. The fear had been for his life. Harry thought that was ironic considering he had gone into last night's fight with the want to die. It had been a cowardly thing to do, he knew because only the weak gave in. Harry sighed softly and sat up slowly. Hermione had obviously healed him well but he could feel the strain and twinges in his body and he was sure the bruising had not yet subsided as well.

"Harry, please tell me what's going on. I know something's wrong but you promised you wouldn't start fighting again. You said you'd talk to Ron and I if you felt the urge to return to the fight clubs again." Hermione's face was lined with worry and heart ache.

Harry suspected that Hermione hadn't meant to sound so accusing but he heard it in her strained voice nonetheless. She was trying her hardest to show restraint but she was upset and disappointed too. She hurt for him and Harry realised then that he was being completely unfair to his best friend. She didn't deserve this, especially not after all that she had done for him. One of his most loyal and trusted friends. His confidant, his priceless treasure. She had always been his strength and Ron had always been his humility, the ground beneath his feet that kept him humble and grounded.

Harry sighed loudly and then focused on Hermione. Inhaling deeply he readied himself for the onslaught of emotions he knew he would be unleashing when he spoke next.

"She's alive, Hermione. She says she never died." Harry's voice broke and his throat clogged with a large ball of hurt that he couldn't swallow past for how vile and poisonous the tormented words tasted in his mouth.

"Who, Harry. Who are you talking about?"

"Ginny." Hermione looked dumbfounded for once in her life and Harry launched into his unbelievable tale of his time with the Force before he could lose himself completely.

* * *

"No." He said as he took a step back. "Is this some sort of twisted game?" He turned towards Draco Malfoy who was glaring hard at him. Harry knew Malfoy for years now and planting a Ginny look alike at Maison de Malfoy to deter and confuse him, unhinge him was extremely plausible. Harry looked close to senile in that moment.

But it was Jennifer who answered. "No. It really is me, Harry."

"Liar!" Harry roared. "Ginny is dead." He had spent years hearing that but now he was the one saying it, admitting it. It felt strange, still surreal.

He had wanted Ginny to be alive so desperately. He had hoped, dreamed, craved for her not to be dead. Harry had survived death and he had wanted her to do the same. He had wished with all his heart and soul that she would live again but life and death didn't work like that. Just like it hadn't worked for his parents or Sirius or Dumbledore or Remus or Fred or anyone on that blasted list of his.

"Harry." Her voice, so much like Ginny's, broke on his name. "Harry, it's me."

Harry paced the damaged room like a caged lion. He refused to look at her because seeing Ginny before him, alive after all this time, regardless of it being a lie, was too unbearable to watch. His magic crackled violently around him and there was no doubt in any of the Force's minds as to how powerful he truly was.

The ties of dark magic around the Force members grew stronger but the silence in the room was almost tangible. It was there, thick and suffocating and Harry felt like he was choking on every inhalation he took. He wondered why, why he was struggling with comprehending this when he should have been embracing it, something he had dreamed about for days, months and years now. But then he realised that it had been a feeble string of hope that had held him together all those times he had been at his closest to breaking.

And when he had imagined Ginny coming back to him it most certainly hadn't been like this. She had always been good natured and he had expected her to always be that way. She was one of the truest people he had known, pure and untainted, someone he had trusted with his life and now, that person was dead. Or she had been a lie and Harry found himself wishing for the very first time ever that it was not the latter of his thoughts. He didn't know who the woman before him was but she could not be his Ginny Weasley.

"This is some sort of sick ploy so I don't turn you in." Harry sent a scathing look at Draco while waving a hand at the other wizards in the room. "Trying to mess with my memory, playing with my mind so I don't incriminate you lot. Trying to obliviate me and when that didn't work your fall back plan was to produce a fake girlfriend so I wont go blabbing."

"No." Ginny said desperately as she struggled against her bonds. "No, Harry. I _am_ Ginny." She sounded desperate for him to believe her, almost as if she couldn't believe what she was doing but then she took in a deep breath. "The first summer you came to the Burrow I couldn't even speak to you. I was so embarrassed, I stuck me elbow in a butter – "

"Rage, you don't have to do this." Draco pleaded from beside her and Harry turned to glare at his arch rival.

"No, I have to." She said softly. "He deserves the truth."

Harry scoffed. "You people are sick." Harry had expected something like this from Malfoy, knew he was twisted enough for an act so terrible but for Jennifer to be apart of it all, it was almost unthinkable.

Not that Harry knew her all that well but from what he had seen, she hadn't struck him as someone who was completely heartless. Which was what you had to be to emulate a dead person, something almost as vile as raising up Inferi. After all, she had shown she was capable of real hurt and compassion when she spoke to him in that cave the first time he had met her. How long ago was that now? It seemed like ages ago.

"Harry, you saved me from the Chamber of Secrets. You never noticed me until your sixth year. That was when –"

"Anyone could tell me those things." Harry cut her off this time although he couldn't quite tell if it was because he couldn't bear to hear his past from a woman who was posing as his dead girlfriend or for the reason he gave her.

"Look at me then." She shouted and Harry's eyes shot to hers.

She was upset then. She looked and sounded like Ginny. Her hair and eyes and everything about her _was_ Ginny, like the way she had been even behind the mask of a glamour charm. All her mannerisms and expressions, everything about her was Ginny. Like the anger sparking in golden flecks in her bright brown eyes now.

Though she had no right, no right whatsoever, to demand anything from him. No privilege to even ask anything of him and become upset with him. As if she had read his every nuance, she took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her throat worked as she swallowed deeply and when she opened her eyes again he could see pain seeping through her gaze.

"You're right." She said in a placating voice. "There's a mark below my collar bone though." Ginny said softly and she looked down. "Something you saw in the room of requirement the night I … the night of the final battle."

Harry thought he would have laughed if she had said the night she died but maybe that was a slip up. A mistake, an error because she really was pretending to be someone she wasn't. Harry watched her sceptically but walked towards her nonetheless. Slowly he reached out and pulled the tops of her shirt down without touching her skin. Next to him he could feel the insurmountable tension radiating from Malfoy. Then the way Malfoy had spoken to Ginny reverberated in his mind. The name Malfoy called her, "Rage" sounded so personal and intimate and Harry felt doubt spark inside of him all over again.

Then the words "blood traitor" on her body became visible to Harry, fine white lines, scarred into her forever, and he froze. He remembered that day as if it were yesterday. Slowly his eyes met hers and that shade of bright brown burned into him.

The same bright brown, with molten gold flashing like sparks of life, that blazing look of determination etched into her gaze as it had always been in Ginny's. "You told me once that you smelled me in Amotentia, Harry. You used to say I smelled like – "

"Flowers." Harry finished softly.

She nodded, the movement causing stray strands of her hair to fall onto her shoulder as if just for him to smell her again. And he could, he could discern the fresh scents that blossomed around her like a blooming rose bud. Once again he thought of how he couldn't find that unique scent that was Ginny after the battle.

"Look inside yourself, Harry. Deep down you know it's me. You've known for a while now."

Tears plopped into his hand that was still resting blow her shoulder and he looked up at her again. When his eyes met hers – he knew. Deep down in the pits of his broken soul, he knew.

She – Ginny – nodded again and Harry closed his eyes in disbelief. Trying to rationalise everything she had just said. Her bonds loosened without it being his intention to do so and Ginny sank to her knees with a sob. Harry stepped back and when he opened his eyes once more Ginny was moving towards a drawer in the room.

Harry didn't allow the other wizards the same courtesy of freedom as he had allowed her and he walked stealthily behind her. Then he watched her – Ginny – rummage in a drawer before turning around. She gasped when she realised Harry was so close to her she could feel his breath on her face. She was nervous, scared and she looked like she would be sick at any moment. Then she swallowed and nodded. Whether to appease him or encourage herself Harry couldn't quite tell and it angered him. She was as much a stranger to him now as Jennifer had been. Ginny took out a gleaming dagger and held it up between them.

Harry couldn't help the small grin that curved his lips. "Do you plan on killing me now?" He asked mockingly.

Ginny glared at him. "If I had wanted to kill you I wouldn't have made an open play in trying to do so. I would have slit your neck already."

"Assuming you could of course." Harry rejoined. "Your confidence in your abilities surprises me, _Jennifer_." He said the faux name with sarcasm that he was pleased to see had not been lost on Ginny. Now he understood why Jennifer could blush so red.

"This will prove who I am without a shadow of doubt." She said and Harry looked down to see her cut her index finger.

Then she reached behind her, placed the dagger down upon the drawer and brought a phial forward, without taking her eyes of Harry. He saw confidence in her gaze even though it was marred with fear and his heart started to pound in his chest. As if this was only just bringing home for him the realisation of the fact that Ginny was alive. Harry watched as she pressed her finger against the glass and blood dribbled inside the holder. Then she held it out to him.

When Harry took the phial from her their fingers brushed and he was positive that he felt a familiar tug in his gut. He hastily snatched the glass from her and he idly thought that he was making a collection of phials where this woman was concerned.

Then he waved his hand and the wizards in the room fell to the floor. "I'll be back soon." Harry threatened before he made his way down the steps of the upper storey.

If he familiarised himself with the place then he had no doubt he could find his way back. He didn't need to turn around because if it really was Ginny in that room he knew that he would never be attacked while his back was turned. Then again, could he really put his faith in a woman who had been living a life based on illegalities and lies for the past three years? Harry gave a cynical smile as he realised some of his more naïve characteristics were still there. Frail and deeply hidden but there nonetheless.

Although, he mentally dared anyone to attack him while he walked away with his shoulders held high, because he would have loved nothing better than to curse them all. Especially that pale faced ferret.

* * *

"Harry, you know how outrageous this sounds, don't you?" Hermione looked at him sceptically after he had finished speaking.

"Yes, thank you, Hermione. I know how it sounds but you also know I'd never lie about something like this. Even if I were having one of my "moments of darkness" as you like to call it." Harry said bitterly and he was pleased to see his best friend wince at his statement.

"What do I have to do?" Hermione looked determinedly at Harry and he appreciated her then more than he ever had before.

Especially considering that he hadn't even had to ask. She knew him well enough to know what he was thinking and she was offering her unconditional help and loyalty. She was the best friend who would go to the ends of the Earth for him even when there was a possibility that he could be wrong about where that path would lead her.

Hermione was the sister he had never had and too choked up with emotion to reply then, unable to hold himself together any longer, Harry finally sank into Hermione's arms which had opened instinctually for him. Like a mother cradling her first born child, wishing she could have protected him from heart ache, Hermione held him close to her and made soothing noises while Harry cried.

He wept because even though losing Ginny had been hard, if she was alive it would not be the best thing that could have ever happened to him as he had believed it would be. It would feel like the biggest betrayal anyone brought upon him and would cause the most pain he had ever endured. Worse than burying her had brought upon him. There was nothing worse and he didn't know what he would do when he had solid, indisputable proof that Jennifer really was Ginny.

* * *

Hermione was feeling guilty and unhappy about what she was about to do, but what other choice did she have really? Ever since Ginny had died Harry had been a shell of his old self. And the parts of him that still existed were so prone to a dark nature that he honestly scared her at times.

Hermione didn't think that Harry would ever hurt her or his loved ones but it was his own self that she and everyone else worried about. His guilt and heartache made him a danger to himself. Hermione had tried for years on end to fix him, she and Ron had fought tooth and nail for him and finally he had been slowly but surely coming back to them.

He had finally accepted his responsibilities, he had been learning to let go of the past and then this Jennifer witch showed up. Hermione didn't like her. It was impossible for Ginny to be alive. It just did not make any sense. It was illogical, a theory not even the wistful Luna Lovegood could conjure up. She had been there when they had found Ginny's dead body with Fred's. They had buried her and three years later Harry said he saw her alive. Working for the Force, breaking laws with Draco Malfoy no less? It was utter rubbish. Nonsense.

Yet Hermione could not bring herself to tell Harry that. She may have been able to reason with Harry but she had never seen Harry the way she had tonight. The pain he had physically wept in the form of his blood was heart wrenching and it had made Hermione bleed for him herself, more so when he had cried in her arms.

If this girl wasn't Ginny then Hermione felt that at least Harry would be able to finally move forward. She had seen him when he was trying to reincarnate Ginny and it had not been a pretty sight. Hermione was just happy Harry had spoken to her about it instead of Ron. When Harry's hopes were crushed – and it would be decimated, of that Hermione was certain – then it would be like losing Ginny all over again. Only this time, the sting would not hurt as much as it had the first time. Harry would realise that he had come a long way since the war and that he could move past Ginny's death again. This time for good.

The other possibility was impossible and Hermione knew better than to plan for something that would never be. But how many times had she been close minded to things that had come to pass? She may be highly intelligent but there were things that even she didn't know.

"Oh, Merlin help us all." Hermione whispered as she closed her eyes and prayed for forgiveness.

She raised her wand and thought of a quick nonverbal spell. The knife in Ron's hand slipped and cut into his finger deeply.

"Hell." Ron cursed as he turned around to make his way towards the sink, he picked up his wand and made to heal his cut magically.

Hermione quickly picked up the discarded knife he had been using and scraped it against the rim of a phial she had been clutching in her lap behind their breakfast counter, before slipping it safely into her pocket.

It already seemed to weigh down in her pocket, as if ready to burn a hole of deception and disaster through her clothing. However Hermione gritted her teeth and made her way towards Ron. She took his wand gently from him and placed it on a counter before kissing his newly healed finger. Ron gave her a quizzical look but all Hermione could do was wrap her arms around him and hold onto him tightly, pouring all the love she had for him into her embrace.

If Ginny was really, alive as Harry believed, then Merlin help them all indeed …

* * *

"Do you have it?" Harry asked as he stopped his pacing the moment Hermione entered his lounge the next morning.

Hermione noticed that Harry looked haggard and pale. He obviously hadn't gotten much sleep last night, if at all and with the pain and anxiety he must be feeling from all his injuries and thoughts he possibly felt a thousand times worse than he should have. She also doubted that he had eaten anything since days ago.

"I'll go make us some tea." She suggested.

"No." Harry snapped and when Hermione cringed at his tone he immediately apologised. "I'm so tired, Hermione, but I can't stand another moment of not knowing."

Hermione nodded understandably and pulled out the phial she had in her work robes. She was lying to Ron and it didn't feel right at all but she _had_ to help Harry. Hermione set the blood down on Harry's coffee table. She then pulled out another phial and poured it into the cauldron Harry already had waiting for her.

She held out her hand and Harry jerkily placed his phial in her palm. The moment her fingers closed around the glass she felt a tingle of foreboding pulse through her hold and she knew she had to speak. Hermione looked up at Harry. She had to do it or she would regret it for the rest of her life.

"Harry, you don't have to do this you know. Either way this is going to be one of the worse revelations you ever make. We can forget this, Harry. We can pretend that it never happened and we can move on like we were doing before Jennifer arrived."

Harry's eyes looked haunted. Hermione was positive she could see memories of the past cast shadows across his startling emerald eyes. For a moment she thought she saw a flash of red hair in his gaze and in that second Harry looked happy, like his old self again, slightly cracked but not broken. Then he blinked and whatever Hermione thought she witnessed disappeared into a daunting nothingness that made her heart wrench for him as he gave her a humourless smile. His eyes however were focused on the cauldron between them now.

"I've spent the entire night weighing my options, Hermione. I may not be as smart as you are but don't you think I've already thought about everything that you have? But I have to know. If I don't then it will haunt me more than the past does. I'll always think what if."

He lifted his eyes to look at her again, blinking that far away and empty look from his gaze. Hermione swallowed and nodded then, steeling her resolve for Harry's sake. She inhaled deeply before lifting her up wand, she muttered the proper spell and cast two parallel wand movements over the cauldron. The potion immediately started to bubble and boil before turning a pure white.

Hermione then uncapped the phials of blood and emptied them into the cauldron. She felt an ominous shudder skitter down her spine. Before her eyes the potion turned a bright red instead of the coal black she had been expecting. The colour of blood, the same blood to be precise. Ron's blood matched the one in the other phial. The blood in the phial Jennifer had given Harry matched Ron's. Jennifer and Ron were related.

No matter how may times Hermione deduced that in her mind she still could not wrap her brain around it. Because it had been so impossible, however now she had incontrovertible proof staring her in the face. Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age, the girl who swallowed books whole and depended and relied heavily on facts could not deny the one staring right at her, daring her to contradict it. Harry had been right. Ginny was alive.

Harry. Oh, sweet Merlin. Hermione's eyes slowly lifted to Harry's face. He looked like a marble statue. Pale and unmoving and Hermione didn't know what do to or say. She felt as shocked as he looked. He was not even blinking though, so still he stood it looked like he wasn't breathing even.

"Harry?" Hermione said timidly.

"Leave." Harry said quietly but Hermione didn't think that was such a good idea. "And don't tell anyone."

"Harry, I don't think – "

"_**Out!"**_ He bellowed and Hermione shrieked as she jumped back. Harry was rolling his head around and closing his eyes, breathing deeply through flared nostrils and she knew he needed time alone.

"If you need me …" She trailed of uncertainly but Harry had already moved away from her to stand over the simmering cauldron.

Hermione quickly grabbed her bag and headed for the door. She was just about to close it behind her when she heard a loud roar of fury and pain. She was sure a cauldron went thumping into a wall and smashing onto the floor.

Hermione winced and closed her eyes, shutting the door behind her and resting her head against it. Silent tears streamed down her face. She wondered if Harry could save them through this. She was wrong; maybe no one could help them now. She had never thought of herself as a bad person before and it was odd that she had spent years wishing Ginny was alive but for the first time ever Hermione wished that Ginny really was dead. Because she couldn't understand how anyone could have done what Ginny had. Not to Harry. Not to any of them who had loved her and mourned her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Playing Dead**

* * *

_**Chapter Ten**_

**RUN.**

The only word that had managed to infiltrate her tensely wound brain, later culminating into a series of thoughts for Ginny. Run towards Harry, run after him and try to make him understand. That was the first idea her still foggy brain had conjured up. Of course that thought was not strong enough to propel her frozen legs forward, which felt oddly unattached to her body. Then the hysterical laughter followed. Could she ever make him understand why she had done what she had done?

Ginny frowned, giving the notion some introspection. Someone like Harry, a person who had felt the guilt of inadvertently causing others death, should surely know the feeling of insurmountable culpability a survivor felt. Why shouldn't he understand her reasonings then?

She felt a splash of self righteous anger over her situation, because she had sincerely believed that she had been doing the right thing. Her moment of moral dignity was immediately popped, like a tiny bubble blown by a naïve child, carried only feet above the ground before bursting and scattering all her hopes with it. Had her actions really been the right thing to do or had it just been right for her? Why was she even questioning herself now, after years of believing in her quest to avenge her brother by giving up her life? The life she was never meant to live past sixteen. Was it that seeing things from someone else's eyes, someone whose vision was not blurred by the smokescreen of grief, gave her a new perspective?

Ginny shuddered at the possibility.

Then she felt the need to run away from it all. She had tried to tell the Force that it was in their best interests to do so as well. To leave as soon as possible and get as far away from everywhere as they could, all the while apologising profusely for her actions. It was harder on Ginny to face her fellow members now that Draco could hardly bring himself to look at her. He didn't seem particularly angry, but there was something so different and detached about him now that she couldn't bring herself to ask him what was wrong. Besides, it seemed like such a stupid question to ask.

She had let them all down. Even if Ginny had thought that her actions at the time would save them, she had always been gambling with the repercussions of later. She had wanted to take away the attention from the Force members, give Harry something that he had wanted most. Again, having to choose someone that wasn't Harry. Yet Ginny knew that in that precarious moment the Force had found themselves in, she could either be considered selfless or selfish with no middle ground in between. None at all. It was the latter that scared her.

None of the other Force members blamed her, they had said as much, vociferously so. However, the way they looked at her, almost with reserve now, left Ginny feeling uncomfortable and as if she didn't belong all over again.

Ginny paced her room; it was something she did without even thinking about now. She felt weak and frail, like a waif that was ready to give way, however she couldn't stomach anything to keep her sustained. She was scared. She knew he would come for her. She had seen the retribution his eyes had promised, no matter the outcome.

Whether it was the truth or not she would have to pay. Only Ginny knew that for being herself, the price would be so much more. Pretending to be someone else would probably have gotten her off on a lighter sentence. How always ironic, the truth was.

* * *

However the days since Harry had been at Maison de Malfoy turned into weeks. A fortnight of agonising in silence and fear for Ginny. Two weeks of sleepless nights wrought with sporadic bouts of troubling nightmares that left Ginny not knowing what to expect. What would happen when or if he finally came?

"If?" She asked herself.

Yes, there was now – after weeks of absence – the very real possibility that Harry thought someone like her, would be better of dead anyway. She knew the loathing he had for Draco, she had seen the contempt Harry had so generously bestowed upon her when Draco had spoken to her and Ginny wouldn't fool herself into believing that Harry cared about her enough, to acknowledge her life.

He would punish her, this new Harry who was able to control his emotions so well and conjure up dark magic at his fingertips. This wizard who was so shrouded in shadows and an innate sadness that not even his old self had been accustomed to. Ginny did not, would not, lull herself into falsely thinking that she could successfully discern Harry's feelings or actions any longer. The time to premeditate his ways had long since passed.

Then, just when Ginny thought that Harry would not return, the moment she slowly started to untie the ball of fear and uncertainty lodged sickeningly in her stomach … he arrived.

* * *

Harry walked into their meeting room with a confident ease, although Ginny could tell he was on high alert, taking in everything around him, prepared for the possibility of hostility or conflict. He gave them all his classic lopsided grin, only it was devoid of any warmth or humour. It was cold, callous almost, and definitely condescending. A mocking movement that earned him a deadly sneer from Draco.

Ginny tried to swallow past the ball of despair in her throat, unsure of what to say and she noticed that when his green eyes fell on her, standing closely next to Draco, Harry's eyes flashed for a moment before he blinked and rid his gaze of all emotion. Ginny wondered if it was simply a trick of the light reflecting off of his glasses.

Harry's eyes bored into hers and Ginny felt a shiver of apprehension skate down her body. She was hard pressed to avoid shuddering under his cool green eyes.

"I'll speak to you alone." It wasn't a question, it wasn't even a demand. It was a simple command that said "Let there be no doubt as to who is in charge here".

Harry had power, but it wasn't just that which made him so revered. It wasn't even the proven physical strength of magical making that he possessed, but a force that could not be questioned. He was far more than he had been and the scary part was; that even before he had been surprisingly impressive. How many titles had he been unwillingly given before becoming "The Defeater of the Dark Lord" or "Britain's most Eligible Wizard"?

"No." It was Draco who spoke, his voice soft yet deafening and the other Force members around them stiffened at his tone.

Draco and Harry glared at each other, a stand off that looked like neither would back down from. Ginny didn't like it. She felt like she was smack dab in the middle of it. That only she could get them both to back off and she bit her lip, uncertain of what would come to pass if she didn't douse the flames of burning testosterone and a dangerous power struggle going on in their work room.

"It's alright, Draco." Ginny said and she didn't miss the disgusted look from Harry at her addressing Draco by his first name.

She didn't blame Harry, but she couldn't let him undermine her relations with her people any longer. And it was true, these were hers now and Harry was the stranger here. As much as it felt like a hand of carbon dioxide squeezing Ginny's heart at that mental admission, she knew that she would have to be strong. She would have to own her past because tossing it aside would only serve to confirm what Harry thought of her now. Then, Harry would surely crush her and she had come too far to be crushed again.

If Ginny didn't at least put up a fight then Harry would never see her worthy of even the punishment he so clearly had in mind for her, and she knew the only way she was going to get past the hellish path she was now meant to walk, was with her own determination and courage. After all, she had led herself down this road. Then, especially not in front of Harry, was not the time for self pity.

"The rest of my team can leave, but I'm staying." The way Draco said "_my"_ was not lost on anyone, but before the Force members could even think of leaving, Harry gave Draco a chilling smile that she had never thought him capable of.

"You seem to be under the misconception that you're calling the shots here, Malfoy." Harry said sarcastically. "If you prefer, I can contact a group of Aurors right this moment and turn you all in." There it was, Harry's ultimate weapon, leaving them all in no doubt that he _would_ use it.

The other Force members cursed Harry in waves of loud voices and scathing hatred, but the man in question remained unmoved. "So why exactly haven't you as yet, Potter?"

Ginny inwardly groaned. It seemed like Draco was not backing down without a fight either. Ginny however, thought that now was one of those times were he should pick his battles. It was not the time for pride or old grudges. Ginny could see that Draco's words had struck a nerve with Harry. Draco knew it too and he smirked triumphantly at the other wizard.

"Whatever my reasons, Malfoy, I'll share them only with her or the Aurors." Ginny noticed that Harry didn't use her name and she could tell that he had no intention of doing so either. His blatant rejection, but call to punishment stung like a sharp and venomous tail of a scorpion. However, hadn't it been her that had fuelled Harry with the hated poison of anger? And so she swallowed past the hurt that lodged itself in her throat. Now was not the time for self recriminations. "That is the only choice I will give today."

"It's pathetic, Potter. The way you've secretly pined over a dead woman all this time – "

Ginny gasped and Harry whipped out his wand, pointing it straight at Draco's face, magic almost crackling around him. Her heart raced as she noticed that Draco had already pulled out his wand too. The two men glared fiercely at one another, daring the other to give them a reason to curse each other. It seemed almost inevitable now, after how readily they had pulled out their wands on each other.

The other Force members all armed themselves as well, directing their wands at Harry too. Harry's gaze shifted around him but instead of any sign of fear or even anger, he simply and genuinely grinned.

"It's sick how you've concocted this plan to keep an obviously alive woman from everyone you hate. How you must have used her and laughed –"

"_**Stop it!"**_ It was Ginny's loud shriek, fear and anger flooding her voice that turned every male head in the room in her direction. Yet all she was glad for was the end she had put to their bickering. "Stop it, please." She said more softly now, almost out of breath as if her little shout had cost her more oxygen than possible.

She then walked forward and bent so she could make her way under their outstretched hands and place herself strategically between Harry and Draco's wands without touching either instrument. She took in a deep breath and decided to turn towards Draco because right then, between the two, he was certainly the easier to deal with. She tried to put everything she couldn't say to him out loud into her look, and he must have understood for he dropped his wand with a nasty snarl and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at the men around him and they all slowly lowered their wands at his stiff nod.

Harry chucked softly, before he turned to look at her. "Shall we?" He half curtsied, mockingly.

Ginny narrowed her big brown eyes at him, but could only nod as she swallowed painfully and before she could lead him somewhere else, Draco swept past them in a blaze of fury and the rest of the Force members shuffled outside the room after him, awkwardly and uncertainly. She caught Ren's eye before he left, trying to silently reassure him and hopefully signalling him to get Blaise and talk to Draco.

It probably wasn't the fairest thing to ask of Blaise in his time of grief but if there was anyone Draco would listen to, it would be Blaise, who would never allow the blonde to wallow.

Ginny looked up finally to see Harry staring at her with controlled impassivity. He obviously didn't want her to form any kind of opinion on his thoughts and it scared her all the more. What exactly was he up to?

"Why?" He asked her without any preamble and she suspected it was the burning question, acidicly eating away at everything he had ever felt for her.

Had it really been so sweet and innocent but real and consuming between them? Every thing seemed so dark and dreary now, as if all her memories were woven from pain, no longer bright and sparkly like they once were. Ginny knew, not because she knew Harry well not, but because it was bubbling beneath his cool demeanour, all that anger and hurt, that he was doing all he could to control himself. That for the first time Harry probably wanted to actually curse her.

Ginny wondered how much he had swore at her in his mind the last couple of weeks, and she knew that the only reason that he had stayed away was to see what she would do. If she had run, then Harry probably wouldn't have hesitated in incriminating every single member of the Force. Would he have lumped her in with them? She did not know. What Ginny did know though, was that in then end it wasn't her or any attachments Harry might have had for her that was allowing her this time to speak, but rather the bond he shared with her family and the love and respect he had for them that was keeping her from Azkaban.

The fact that Ginny had not fled, had obviously helped the Force to some extent. She had a feeling that Harry had not yet come to a clear and concise decision about what he planned to do. How would he incriminate the Force without damning her either, was probably his biggest focus. Right then, the need to shelter and protect her family and his burning desire to punish her was taking precedence.

It was fucking awful being on the receiving end of a vendetta.

Ginny knew Harry had also taken his own sweet time in coming to her because he had wanted her to stew in her own insecurities and fear, and it had worked. Because the moment he had come back she was so high strung that she immediately started to sing to his wishes, no matter how hard she tried not to.

Although she had played right into his hands she knew the best she could do now was to give Harry the truth. The absolute truth and hope that somehow, someway Harry could forgive her. Or at least _try_ to.

"Fred …" She began softly.

Tears fell unchecked from her eyes as she choked on some words when she spoke and her hands hurt from her nails digging into her palms. Her body felt like it would snap from the tension at any moment and her legs were wobbly from standing in one position for so long. She wished desperately to sit down, sink into a chair so she could at least support her weight, but Harry had refused her offer to be seated and remained standing exactly where he had stood about and hour ago. So Ginny couldn't bring herself to sit while he stood, as if that too would work against her.

He stared at her so intently that there were moments she could barley look him in the eye for the anger and loathing she saw there. Especially when she spoke of Draco. Yet she shared every single truth with him, giving him that at least, if nothing else. However she tried to meet his gaze when she told him about her most desperate of times, silently pleading with her own eyes for him to at least understand her.

Ginny was sorely disappointed.

Subconsciously, possibly Ginny had wanted Harry to feel some kind of pity even for her and even if it wasn't immediately understanding of her explanation, she prayed that he could at least believe in what she had done. Only it was a whole lot of "at leasts" from her and so much of nothing from him.

Absolutely nothing.

Not even a smidgen of emotion showed on his face when she was finished and Ginny felt the need to bawl then, bow down on her knees and grovel at his feet, anything so he wouldn't look at her like that. Without any sort of feeling at all.

At that point Ginny would have been relieved to have Harry's anger directed at her, his hatred even, anything but not nothing. Not a single bloody thing and it hurt more than she had ever thought possible.

"Say something, please." She stuttered out when she could no longer handle the dire silence that followed her past.

Finally Harry shrugged. He shrugged, so indifferently and unemotionally that Ginny felt like she was breaking into a million irreparable pieces. Then he spoke and no matter how badly she felt before, she felt a billion times worse then.

"At first, losing you was worst than losing anyone else, even Sirius or Dumbledore. It was tragic, inexplicable. I was unsure even at the depth of emotion I felt for you after you were gone. I suppose it had always been there, growing, and I nurtured it because I adored you and never minded the strength of my feelings for you. I realised I loved you in a way that I hadn't loved anyone before. It was a different sort of emotion all together. Something I had never felt before. Not even for Ron and Hermione." His words weren't anything that gave her hope because they were all spoken in the past tense but also because they sounded so detached, as if that wasn't anything that mattered now, but something she needed to know to understand him properly. Ginny suspected nothing that concerned her meant anything to Harry now.

"I was so angry at everyone I loved. I was so furious at you and I started to slide so deep into this darkness that there were times I thought I'd completely lose myself to the blackness." Harry shrugged. "It never happened and I was forced to face reality. Then I started to actually let go."

He stared at her with such conviction, as if he were daring her to contradict his words, but when Ginny thought of all the women he had been with since she had _died_, she believed him and she felt herself nodding jerkily at him as if she agreed completely with what he was saying.

"Just when I was about to let go completely, ready to move on and start anew, _Jennifer_ showed up." Harry said the fake name with such contempt that Ginny felt her cheeks heat up. "She reminded me so much of Ginny that I came up with the most ridiculous rubbish to bring her – _you_ – back." Harry gave a self depreciating snort. "Then I find out that you never really did die, you were still alive."

"But you're not are you. Alive, I mean." Harry continued without waiting for Ginny to reply. "The girl I knew years ago, the girl I cared for and fell for, she no longer exists. The woman you've become is a stranger to me and I certainly don't ever wish to get to know you either."

"Harry, you must –"

"Must I?" Harry interrupted with a bitter chuckle. "No. There isn't anything that I owe you. You're not the Ginny I loved and she is as dead to me as she has been for the past three years." Ginny sobbed loudly at this but bit back her tongue from voicing herself as tears flowed freely down her red cheeks again. "I wish you were dead, for the first time in years now that you're _miraculously_ alive, something I've wanted so desperately, has now turned into the ugliest of nightmares and cruellest fates I ever had to endure, and I wish you were dead."

"Harry you don't mean – "

"I'm not done yet." He said harshly, unconcerned by the genuine hurt on her face or the pain in her voice. "I thought maybe it was best to just go on with life as before, to allow everyone to believe that you were dead, which is better than them seeing what you've become now. You're almost as bad as a Malfoy, it sickens me and I can't imagine what your parents would think if they found out, considering how much they hate all Malfoy's. Your brothers would never accept or even understand it. I for one can not see Fred ever wanting you to go out and consort with a Malfoy to avenge him; it would have shamed him not honoured him. One thing you did get right out of all of this though, was that you weren't worthy of a second – no _third_ – chance at life after what you've done with it. It wasn't repayment to anyone but a sacrilege to your brother's sacrifice."

At Harry's words, Ginny's heart swelled so heavily in her chest that it exploded like sharp shrapnel piercing her soul and leaving her literally unable to breathe. Ginny reached forward to grab onto a chair back when she felt the world sway beneath her feet. Harry seemed immune to it all. He was focused solely on the most punishing, bitter words to hurt her with and Ginny couldn't blame him. She had been wrong, he would never understand and he wasn't done as yet.

"Then I thought more about it and I realised that even though you've been an utter bitch to your entire family the past three years, you don't deserve the pedestal that they've put you on. They deserve to know the truth about you."

Ginny shook her head and choked back her misery, her face pale and his cruelly handsome face blurry before her. "You didn't."

Harry stared at her for a long while, the first sign of a frown on his stony face. "No, I didn't." Ginny inhaled before she saw Harry smile. A cruel tug of his lips. "But you will."

His words played over and over again in her head, filling her with the most atrocious fear and pain that she had ever thought possible, inflicting her with a task that she had never thought she needed to live through and she could take it no longer.

Ginny could only scream, a piercing wail full of pain and anger and hatred for herself and yes, in that moment even for Harry and she let loose every single feeling of longing and doubt she had held in for so long. She was hysterical and she heard nothing else but the banshee like shriek that echoed around her eardrums. Harry's face looked stricken for a moment and somewhere in the caverns of her mind, she subconsciously revelled in finally garnering some kind of emotion from him.

Ginny didn't hear the doors of the work room open around her, or the shuffling of harried footsteps nearing her. She drowned out the screams and shouts with her own open mouth, the release she was spewing too overwhelming for even her to control. It was a possession of her soul all over again and she was surrendering. Then she couldn't breathe, she couldn't feel and she felt herself freefalling. There was only a deep darkness awaiting her but it felt better than anything else she had ever felt in the last few days. She only wished it was permanent.

* * *

Ginny awoke to find Draco sitting beside her bed, his mussed blonde head bent in his hands, elbows upon his knees. He looked drained.

"Draco?" She said softly and he immediately jerked up.

His eyes were bloodshot and it seemed like he hadn't had any sleep in days. The memories in Ginny's mind were still fresh and painful, like a sore still bleeding. There was no escape from Harry or her past now and she felt fear and heartache latch at her chest, refusing to let go. Her anxiety and fainting proved a small reprieve but she knew she would never be allowed to forget. Not completely anyway.

Draco continued to look at her and she sat up slowly. "How long have I been out for?" She asked to try and fill in the quiet that seemed to grotesquely suffocate her.

Ginny had never before felt uncomfortable in Draco's silences. She had always understood him enough to know that his actions were never empty and his words were used only when necessary, however for the first time she didn't like it.

He stared at her for a long moment, weighing something in his mind and she didn't like that either. She felt a sense of imminent foreboding and Ginny wanted to prolong the moment until it never came. Until it faded away like ridiculous thoughts drawn from the mind like warps through time. Ginny made to speak again but Draco finally spoke over her.

"Forget it." He said softly but Ginny felt confused. "Don't go. You don't have to give in to Potter's demands, we can leave. The others agree. We don't have to turn ourselves in, but neither do we have to get caught."

Ginny looked up at Draco searchingly, unable to comprehend how much they were all willing to give up for her. "Draco, that's ridiculous. I can't ask them to ever do something like that. They've worked so hard to help themselves and those they love. Blaise will – "

"What difference does it make?" Draco cut in and Ginny could see he was angry now. She had the strangest feeling that his fury was directed at her. She didn't blame him. She had made a split second decision to save him but it wasn't enough. "Daphne dying was a slap in the face. We've bluffed those idiots for so long we felt invincible and began to fool ourselves as well. Look were that got us. In hindsight we knew it was an option but it was one that had never happened before. And we didn't think it ever would, not really."

Ginny understood. It was a dangerous game they had been playing but now that they saw how it could affect them they were rethinking every choice they had ever made. It was different to think about something and then actually have it happen. It was like thinking about a war and really fighting in one, being in the midst of it. The two were worlds apart and only those involved in it, lived it, could truly explain the fear, the reasoning and madness that came from it.

"He'd never let you get away with this. Especially you. He'd hunt you till the day either of you dies and what about your mother, –"

"Don't you think I've thought about all this? Do you think this is a bloody spur of the moment, fucking impulsive decision?"

Ginny felt like he had slapped her. His words were cold and insensitive and that was one of the downfalls of friendship with Draco. He could work himself up to the point of saying things without thinking them through. When he was angry he didn't care because he wanted others to feel pain. Years of verbally tormenting everyone was sometimes still second nature to him. Only it hadn't been something he had done to her in years now.

It stung.

"I couldn't ask you or anyone else to do that for me. It's not fair, and I intend to get us out of this mess I've created, even if it means me sacrificing myself." If she gave in, she could barter for the Force's freedom, the promise of keeping their identities protected. Harry wanted to punish her, he did not want to punish her family. That was something she knew without a doubt now.

"Oh would you stop that Gryffindor rubbish for one second, Rage." Draco spat disdainfully. "Fuck all the noble drivel you have in your mind and draw from the point of selfishness that you can."

Ginny's eyes widened and then narrowed. Draco's words turned around and around in her head but she couldn't make sense of them. Or she refused to think he would mean something so unthinkable and reprehensible.

"Excuse me?"

Draco stared at her and his eyes were cold, calculating. The wizard who had held her in his warm arms and stroked her hair back to ward of her fears seemed only like an illusion now. The despicable, Malfoy boy who held unto his Merlin awful prejudices for his own selfish pursuits was standing before her. And for the first time in a very, very long time Ginny felt some of her old hatred swarm up for him.

"As honourable and selfless as your act for avenging your brother was, it was equally selfish and pathetic. Weak and frail."

His monotone words, so icy and thoughtless hung in the air between them. Ginny could only stare wide eyed, unsure if this was actually happening. When those words finally settled into her frozen brain it felt like a sledgehammer knocking into her very soul.

"Liar." Ginny choked out, unable to form anything else past her burning throat.

"No." Draco said huskily and he grabbed her by her arms. "You couldn't go back because you couldn't handle the shame of being someone who should have been dead. You couldn't bear the blame and accusations, the silent looks even though no one would say what they really felt." Draco shook her as if trying to make her see sense and Ginny felt hot tears burn like acid down her cheeks.

"That's not true and you know it. This is just you being a bastard to try and get your way. Changing it, because even you said it wasn't true. Just days ago." Ginny reminded him weakly. "You told me it wasn't true." Ginny sobbed but in her shattered heart, she knew there was truth to his words.

"You know, Rage. Deep down you know that it was half and half. You thought it too, didn't you?! On one hand people can understand why you did what you did, on the other hand there's some who will loathe you for it because it's so sick. I know, not everyone can be this grey, Rage. Some are too black and white, too blinded to see past Universal morality."

Ginny clutched onto Draco's lapels the moment he stopped shaking her but his hands were like vice grips, determine holds until she admitted his twisted truth. Subconsciously she had never wanted to go back because she could never live with that kind of blame from anyone and now it was far worse.

Draco was offering her a way out because he cared for her past, all that she used to be and all that she had become. He was able to see the shades of grey that blurred the lines between good and evil. He was that grey himself.

"Don't." Was all she could whisper and she bowed her head, begging him to understand that merging her two worlds was probably the only thing she could do to right all the wrongs she had caused. That she had finally walked her own path and was halfway done with avenging Fred.

Yet he released her. And Ginny whimpered, silently begging him to take her in his arms again, but then he took a step back. She shivered knowing she couldn't have it both ways. It would always be one or the other.

"If you go, you can never come back." He walked away from her but his words were like her sentence.

There was no middle ground for her. She could choose to go back into the white washed world where she would be ridiculed and bruised, battered from most everyone, she would be that dark spot in their worlds that created the greyness in it, but she would never be able to stumble back into her other life.

It would be gone forever because she would be seen as an abandoning figure, someone who had willingly chosen to leave them all behind. It would be seen as her turning her back on them because she craved to be better … than them. Ginny would be the very traitor she had been branded as. She had given up one family for the other, now she had to do the same, only in reverse. Yet this time she couldn't _die_ to escape. She laughed at her ridiculous thoughts, hysterical laughter bubbling from her mouth, before it turned into frothing sobs.

However if she didn't go back, then all those who were her present would be left to a horrible fate.

Why couldn't Draco see that she was saving them all? Did he really think that Harry would just let them run away? There was only one way to make this right. Everything, her past and present, had finally come knocking, demanding she pay in kind for playing with all those lives – good and bad.

Harry wanted vengeance from her and this new him would topple down everyone that shielded her from his wrath. This was her truly selfless act because going back would kill her.

After seeing Harry, she was certain of that.


End file.
